by
Senia Moore
_____When I first met her, it was online, so it wasn’t even in person. But she touched me in ways that I have never been touched. She was all the way in Pa. We talked for hours on the computer; I even got brave and wrote her a letter. But after six months of just talking, we still didn’t hook up, or go see each other. That December she told me that she had just got a boyfriend, so I cut her off. I wouldn’t talk to her at all, and boy was she persistent. Finally after being mad at her for a month, I emailed her back, and we stared talking again. She would call me every night, and we’d talk for 3 or 4 hours, would have been more, but I kept falling asleep. But everyday we talked. We got to know each other. Soon we were talking about seeing each other. We decided that we would split the bill and I would travel 808 miles to see her.
_____Boy that first time I saw her, she was beautiful, she had me. And I never told her this, but, I would have walked up there after that, cause from that first moment I knew I would never need no body else to love me but her. When we made love, it was like being wrapped in silk, so soft and tempting. I never felt any body that had skin so soft. Subsequently we saw each other once every three or four weeks after that, until last October, then we didn’t see each other again till this January. During that time that we were apart, things started to fall apart. I met somebody else, and I couldn’t handle my business like the woman that I am. And I fucked up royally. I stopped listening to my baby, I treated her like a child. She told me she felt like she couldn’t talk to me. So she talked to someone else, and by the time I had come to my senses, she was out of my grasp.
_____I don’t really know what happened, or what made me act that way, but it was stupid, I was stupid. I moved to be near her, and I promised myself that I would never give up. She is my best friend, I love her more than I love Hershey’s chocolate (and that’s a lot of love). She was relentless in making me feel like an ass. She put up these huge fronts, these iron walls. She said that I could not have a second chance, and that she wanted to be with someone else. But that didn’t matter to me, she was made for me. God made her just for me. I was persistent in making her see my love was real, and bigger than life itself. One day, I looked into her eyes, and I saw her soul. We made love and we never broke eye contact. She was letting me in little by little, until one day I said, “I wanna be with you,” and she said, “I wanna be with you to.”
_____You know they say that it is always darkest at dawn, or that it always rains before the rainbow. These things are true. I love my baby, and whatever it takes to keep her, I will do. I learned how to wait on her love, how to embrace it and not crush it. And as I stroke her heart, only thoughts of me enter her mind, and only my name caresses her lips. It was dark outside, but now I can see the sunlight.

The End

Copyright © 2003. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.