by Insatiable K
How often do you dream of me? How often do you lick your lips wanting to taste me once again? Do you wake up shaking, sheets soaked from your essence because you could still feel my lips and mouth on your body? How often do you pretend itís me instead of her pleasing and loving you? Do you cry because Iím not there holding you after a bad dream or massaging your body after a hard day? Do you smile or cry when visions of us play in your head? Do you miss me, wonder what could have been or did you just use me?
How is it that I remember your freckles and the way you smile? Why is it that I still think of you at all after all of this time? Was I in love with you, could it be when my walls started tumbling that I actually saw all of you and still loved you in spite of your stuff? I donít know what itís like to be in love but maybe I did and shut it out just like I shut you out. How could it be that we both forgot the good times or did you let your lust overrule your love that you supposedly had for me? Will we ever let go of each other fully? I still utter your name from time to time and you still use the one I gave you when first I started to fall. This has got to cease, Iíve moved on and so have you, didnít we? Stop playing the games and get out of my damn head and life. I want to forget you, erase you from my RAM/ ROM and definitely my hard drive. At least I donít cry at the thought of our last months together anymore and I donít feel the urge to want to hurt you as much as you killed me. I want people to stop telling me about you and that theyíd hoped weíd worked it out or that they dreamed of us getting married. I want to forget about the 5 year from now dream with you, the cute little dog that you wanted, and the house with the 3-car garage. Fuck reminiscing on the time we shared Iím tired of this shit. I want to leave you behind, let you go so I donít hurt nor cry nor get pissed off anymore. If this is what falling in love is all about, I donít want it, I hate it and I hate you because I fell in love with you when you were fucking over me.