__________by WildKat
She hung up on me. She fucking hung up on me. Isn't that the same person that
promised to never hurt me? Promised to always keep shit between us. What
makes a person turn right side up on you? To become someone else. . . .that
never was. I laid myself on the line for her. I changed my sexuality to be
with her. I put my self out there and told her I loved her. She doesn't see
the pain that she causes, nor does she care. Now I wish she would die. That
she falls in love a million times, and gets her heart broken a million and
one more. Wish that she may feel every bit of pain that she every instilled
in me. But the reality hits me that I still have it in for her. That no
matter what she does I will always have it bad for her. I fantasize of the
day that we'll go to Italy. The day that we'll live together by the marina.
The day when I come home from a hard day's work and she'll be sitting on the
couch with that dimpled smile of her's saying "Hey." Late at night when
we're in bed asleep, I would look over into her green eyes and hug her even
tighter, realizing how truly happy I am. Then I open my fucking eyes. . .and
look around at reality. That shit is and was nothing more then a dream. A
dream that will stay exactly that. Too much has happened to ever change the
path set. . ..that we will never be. But I hope that she's happy and that she
moves on to bigger and better things. For me. . .I have realized to never let
someone so deep into my soul again. To stay away from relationships
altogether. They cause nothing more then earth shattering, tear-forming pain,
that recycles itself over and over and over again. Maybe one day I'll find
someone to let in again, but for now I'm content with being empty.
