by
M. Rahim

(Part 2 )
No, I didn't literally give her a thumbs up right then and there. If I remember correctly, I giggled a lot and batted my eyelashes ever so often. I didn't want to seem too easy so, naturally, I made her chase me a little before giving in.

I knew from the start even as naive as I was then that when Val looked at me all she saw was a young, cute, energetic girl with a fat booty who would fuck her senseless. I also knew in my gut that nothing good could possibly emanate from this farce.

Once my deal with the Devil was sealed it was time for the performance to begin.

Val didn't waste any time tryin' to get in my panties. She came on strong, never giving me a chance to rethink my actions. It was like every time I turned around Val was right there, grinnin'. She started hanging around my dorm room after work.

I remember one day, I had an appointment at the housing department and when I returned late that afternoon I found Val lounging on my bed. Well it wasn't really a bed, but more like a cot. Anyway, she was there, still grinnin', hoping to get a little action.

She was always trying to kiss me, but I was funny about kissing people. I have to really dig a person to wanna kiss em and I hadn't reached that level with Val yet. Besides, her breath always smelled like cigarettes.

You might be asking yourself why I might get involved with someone whom I didn't even want to kiss. Well, the answer is simple: Val was a charming motherfucker!

She continued to come around, always trying to cop a feel here and there until finally her persistence wore me down. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the attention, so it wasn't too hard for me to give in to her.

One Friday, when she got off work, Val approached me in her usual aggressively vulgar manner. "Get dressed. I wanna take you out."

We went to dinner at BBQ's in the Village. The food was excellent and the conversation over dinner was considerably different than our past talks. Still interesting, but definitely different.

"What made you decide to approach me? When did you start liking me? Cuz if you wouldn't have told me I would have never guessed." This was a question that had burned in my mind since that day in her office. That's when Val told me the story of the first time we ever spoke, from her perspective.

We were in the rear stairwell, at the shelter of course, and I was asking her some questions about Project REACH. She said I was wearing tight jeans and a T-shirt. She said she could see my nipples poking through the cotton shirt. It turned her on, but when I turned to leave Val caught a glimpse of my ass in those jeans. She said, with little shame, that at that moment she wanted to throw me down and fuck me right there on the stairs.

I almost choked on my drink, but not for the reasons you might think. I found myself being strangely aroused by her story, by her aggressive nature. I began to imagine her ripping my clothes off and taking me right there on the table in the restaurant. My cheeks were flushed, my clit swelled up, and I started squirming in my seat. Val could smell my heat, my wetness. She knew exactly what she was doing.

Five minutes later we left the restaurant and spent the rest of the weekend naked in a motel room.

Charming motherfucker!

I learned more about sex in those two days than I'd ever learned since losing my virginity when I was thirteen. It was the best sex I'd ever had, at least up until that point.

She introduced me to the strap-on, which was weird at first but it didn't take long for me to start liking it. She also taught me how to eat pussy like a pro. Contrary to popular belief, no one is born with such a skill. It has to be learned and developed.

But, perhaps the most important thing was that Val was the first person to make me have an orgasm.

It was early on Sunday morning, a few hours before we had to check out. Val was goin' down on me, which was nothing special. I'd gotten head plenty of times before. But this time was different. It never felt that good before. My body was so tense, but relaxed enough to absorb every sensation. I felt like a tuning fork, like my body had an antenna attached to it and I was able to receive every stroke of her tongue with astonishing clarity. My body was responding to stimulation in a way that it never had before that day.

Amazingly, I didn't just cum, I splashed! I knew nothing of female ejaculation before then.

When I think back on it, the whole experience was pretty funny, but at the time I was terrified. I didn't know what the fuck was goin' on. I thought I pissed on myself!

Suddenly, I pushed her off of me and jumped up like a scared cat. I just kept saying, "Oh my God . . . oh my God!" Then I started sniffin' the sheets.

Val just watched me carry on like a frantic lunatic for a few moments before asking, "What the hell is wrong wit you?"

"I don't know, I don't know!" I mumbled, desperately wanting to divert her attention somehow.

"What is the matter?" she asked again. And finally I just gave up. There were wet spots all over the bed and no way for me to hide it.

"I think . . . I think I peed on myself." I said, nearly in tears. I was so damned embarrassed and I hated having to tell her that I might have pissed on her face! "I'm so sorry!" I said, making a run for the bathroom to hide.

She grabbed hold of me and just busted out laughing. I mean, she was crackin' up and I couldn't figure out, for the life of me, what was so funny.

"Don't you understand what happened? She asked, still laughing.

"It's not funny!" I said, crying and pouting like a five-year old.

"You just came, that's all. You never came before?"

"What are you talkin' about?" I finally stopped crying but only because I was really confused.

"Get a grip, baby. You splashed . . . you squirted. You just had an orgasm!" More laughter.

"What! Are you serious?" I was in complete shock. And then I suddenly felt stupid because I'd just had an orgasm and I didn't even know it.

Eventually, the embarrassment and shock subsided, allowing me to see the true value in that experience. So many women strive, in vain, to reach that level of pleasure. The very first time I had sex, I remember thinking, "That's it? This is what people go crazy for?" But that day I finally understood. After that, orgasms became a regular occurrence and I couldn't get enough of them.

We spent more and more time together and it seemed like we were getting closer and closer. Only problem was the more time I spent with her the stronger my feelings got. I was no longer satisfied with the money and the gifts and the weekend romps. My heart wanted more. I was afflicted with the other woman syndrome."

I tried my best to remain objective in the situation. Deep down I knew Val enjoyed the little game we were playing. She was an old school woman with an old school mentality. People like that always have a main (the wife or girlfriend) and then there's always the side dish (the other woman). I knew damned well which one I was. Don't get me wrong, I didn't pride myself on being the other woman, but I truly enjoyed Val's company and back then I was foolish enough to compromise my emotional needs for her affection.

The hardest part about being the side dish were all the times I had to dodge Val's wife and all the lies . . . lies I mostly told to myself.

It wasn't long before Linda started getting suspicious and with good reason. Val had cheated on her numerous times before and always got caught. Another reason Linda was suspicious is because her wife was never home. Val spent 90% of her free time with me and she didn't exactly go out of her way to hide it. Everyone at BWS knew that Val and I were fucking.

I think that even if there were no obvious signs of infidelity Linda would have still known that Val was up to her old tricks again. The wife always knows. When you're with a person for a long time, you know immediately . . . instinctively, when something's not right. Not only did Linda know Val was cheating but she also knew it was with someone in the shelter. All of a sudden she started popping up unexpectedly at BWS, trying her best to catch Val in the act. This put me in a really fucked up position.

In the months that passed since Val and I first started creeping, not once did I pressure her to leave her wife. Not that I wouldn't have been happy if she did. It would have been great if she would have taken me in her arms and asked me to be her wife. But this was no fairytale and I knew, realistically, not to expect too much. It was easier for me to accept my role in this relationship when I didn't know Linda. It was easy not to feel guilty as long as I didn't think of Linda as a real person with feelings. But she was a real person and she did have feelings and I knew that eventually I'd have to come face-to-face with reality.

Every time I saw Linda I would try my best to avoid her, but she seemed drawn to me for some reason. The funny thing is, she never suspected that I was the one Val was sleeping with. She targeted me to be her new friend. I was hanging out with Val in the rec room one day while she was setting up one of her resource tables when, sure enough, in strolls Linda.

Val introduced me as one of her clients.

Linda smiled brightly and extended her hand for a friendly shake. She was the most adorable woman I'd ever seen. She had light skin, freckles, and blond dread locks sprouting spontaneously from her head. She even had dimples! Even though she was about 30 years old, Linda had a child-like innocence that was very alluring.

When I looked into her eyes they seemed to light up. It was like we had some kind of instant connection to one another. She seemed incredibly sweet and warm and I liked her immediately. Judging from her actions and the way she looked at me, I could tell the feeling was mutual. This strange chemistry with Linda only complicated the situation more, which was something I definitely didn't need.

My connection with Linda was all the more reason for me to avoid her, but that was no easy task. She was even more persistent than Val. She followed me everywhere I went and was constantly trying to convince me to hang out with her. One day, she asked me to go to lunch with her and absolutely refused to take no for an answer. Reluctantly, I went and quickly regretted it. Linda didn't hesitate in letting me know that she was attracted to me. She was bold in her pursuit.

"What about your wife?" I asked her.

"If she can do it, why can't I?" She replied with a bad-girl grin.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I rejected her as gently as possible then abruptly hauled ass out of the diner. Afterwards, my heart was so heavy with guilt that I could barely keep my head above water. As much as I would have loved to be friends with Linda, I couldn't handle smiling in her face and then sleeping with her wife behind her back. It just didn't feel right.

I know if the circumstances had been different, Linda and I would have probably become very close friends. She probably would have treated me better than Val did. Unfortunately, that wasn't meant to be. Eventually, I had to blow Linda off completely, and I couldn't really give her a valid explanation.

Truth: despite my attraction to Linda, I believed that I was in love with Val.

Shortly before I met Linda, Val had begun to profess her love to me and being the foolish girl that I was, I believed her. She was telling me all the things I wanted to hear . . . things that gave me hope of us being a real couple one day . . . false hope. Believing that Val and I were in love and my encounters with her wife prompted me to confront her with an ultimatum.

"You're lying to me, you're lying to her, and you're lying to yourself if you think you can keep up this bullshit. You can't have your cake and eat it too!"

"So what are you tryin' to say? Are you gonna blow up my spot now like that bitch Marjorie did?"

"No! I would never do that. I'm not even asking you to leave her. I just don't want to play this game anymore . . . I can't. This is all a lie and I'm the one who will end up alone and hurting, not you! All I'm asking is that you come clean to your wife and make a choice. It's not like she doesn't already know. You have to make a choice . . . either her or me, but you can never have us both."

"And what if I can't choose?"

"Then you need to let me go."

"And what if I refuse to let you go?"

"Well, if you can't make up your mind then you won't have a choice."

With that said, I went on about my business or at least I tried to. I spent months being Val's mistress and now my feelings were getting stronger no matter how hard I tried to prevent that from happening.

Regardless of my growing feelings for Val, I was tired of being insignificant and tired of feeling so expendable. It was killing me to watch her go home every night to her wife, while I was left alone at night with no one to hold me. All the sneaking around which used to excite me just didn't feel right anymore. I started feeling less like her lover and more like a prostitute.

The very next time I saw Val, I told her that if something didn't change soon, I was going to move on . . . with out her! She told Linda the truth that same night.

I thought once she told Linda about us, Val and I would live happily ever after. But, of course, that didn't happen. She and Linda didn't break up and Val and I did not ride off into the sunset. I guess she figured telling her wife the truth about us would make me feel better. But telling Linda the truth did not constitute making a choice. Val was still trying to have her cake. Only this time she was being slick about it. I was hip to her game, but I stuck around anyway.

Stupid, foolish girl!

Apparently, Linda was just as foolish as I was because she didn't leave either. I guess she was so used to Val's philandering that she just didn't care anymore. For some people, having someone to hold them every night far outweighed whatever pain their partners might cause them. I guess Linda and I had that in common.

It was no surprise that Linda no longer wanted to be my friend. In fact, I was pretty leery about seeing her face to face, but avoiding her this time was nearly impossible. She made a point of showing up at BWS every chance she got. That was her way of punishing me . . . of letting me know that she was still the wife and I was just the side dish. She would always be there but women like me came and went.

At the risk of sounding like a coward, I was a little worried that there would be some dramatic confrontation between us. She probably wants to beat my ass,' I kept thinking to myself. But Linda was a very mature woman and handled the whole situation quite graciously. She never approached me or looked for a fight. Well actually, I think she did mumble bitch' under her breath while passing me on the street one day. Other than that she never said a word. Linda was smart enough to know that her mere presence was enough to put me in my place.

A few more months passed and our little love triangle seemed to hang in the balance . . . suspended and still unresolved. I finally got my own apartment. A spacious one-bedroom in Flatbush near Prospect Park. Val had accepted an offer for a full-time, well paying position as a case manager for the mental health unit at BWS.

Before I moved out, she offered to put me up in an apartment. She said she would make sure I had any and every thing I wanted and needed. She said that she would see to it that I was well kept. Sure, it sounded like a good offer, but to me it was more like a consolation prize. Fortunately, I wasn't that foolish. I had no interest in giving Val that much control over me. What if she decided to suddenly cut me off without warning? What if she grew tired of me? Then what? Where would that leave me? Thanks but no thanks. By then, I couldn't wait to move out of the shelter, but I decided to wait and get my own place.

As soon as I moved out I found a job waiting tables and started going back to school after being accepted to NYU. Val and I were still seeing each other but, much to my dismay, things had cooled off significantly between us. On the surface, my life seemed to be going really well, but this love affair was yielding me nothing but misery and mental anguish. I was depressed and lonely.

Part 3