_____Sometimes Mena wished she didn't feel like fucking. Sometimes she simply wanted to lay there with Zel and not act as if the woman was so irrisistable that she couldn't keep her hands off her. Sometimes Mena wanted to know that there was something beyond the curves of Zel's body and the hypnotic allure of her red walls.
_____In fact, Mena wanted to walk into Zel's loft tonight, and tell her what kind of evening she had after leaving here three hours ago. She wanted to not fall into her arms as soon as Zel appeared at the door and kiss her face and hands as if she hadn't seen her in years.
_____But these were things she wished for but could never say once she was in Zel's arms, inside her red walls. When she was there, everything she had intended to say was moot and she found herself fumbling over her thoughts and searching for words to say what was normally simple and easy.
_____When Mena's knocks went unanswered, she let herself in, the wet force of the shower and Zel's falsetto voice touching her ears. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the pair of black lace panties she had taken from the floor on Zel's side of the bed the other night and went to place them in the hamper, knowing Zel would never know they were missing. She was fascinated, she knew that, but it made leaving Zel easier to take when she could lay in her own bed and inhale her when she couldn't be wrapped between her legs, staring at her red walls.
_____She heard the shower stop and Zel pull the towel down from its rack. She imagined Zel wrapping the towel about her naked body, glistening with beads of water, her hair bundled in pins. She imagined Zel lifting her foot onto the tub to double check that she had shaved her legs to smooth perfection, then lifting her arms to check her pits. She imagined Zel kissing herself in the mirror.
_____Then Mena saw her.
_____She rounded the corner, her calves and biceps shimmering with oil. She dropped her towel to bend and retrieve her pink panties from the bed and slip them on. Mena knew that she would carry them home with her when she left the next morning, and she hoped they would be next to Zel's body ample enough time to absorb enough of her smell to get her high. Zel covered her round apple sized breasts with a matching bra and Mena dropped the glass from which she had intended to sip Amaretto, and it shattered on the hardwood floor.
_____Mena's own eyes grew wide with surprise, as she had been so engrossed in Zel's golden brown body that she hadn't felt the glass slip from her fingers. "Um, Zel, you were in the shower when I came in, " she stammered, "I didn't want to surprise you." She stepped around the glass and went to the kitchen seeking out the broom.
_____Zel's lips curved into a smile. She kept them wet with gloss, even when going to bed and she licked them now. "But what a pleasant surprise it is," she said.
_____Mena pulled the broom across the floor, dumping small pieces of glass into the garbage and lifting with her fingers, pieces that were big enough not to cut her once she touched them. "I just got off, and I wanted to stop by and see you a minute before going home. Maybe I should have called --"
_____"You didn't have to. You never do, anyway."
_____Mena didn't know how to take this. Was she mad? Disappointed? Expecting another body to come through that door and enter her red walls?
_____"Are you going to finished getting dressed?" Mena said the words but she knew that if Zel covered her beautiful breasts with anything more than a bra, her pussy with anything more than those sheer panties, she would feel the twinge of death in her chest.
_____"Do you want me to?" Zel ask, her toes pressing small round prints into the carpet as she approached Mena. "'Cause I can stay like this."
_____"However you feel comfortable, sweetie," Mena said and wiped excess water from her hands on the dry towel that hung from the stove.
_____Zel's hands reached around to her back, and her bra loosened and hung from her shoulders. She lay it across the burgundy leather sofa and bent down to step back out of her panties.
_____It hasn't been long enough. I won't be able to smell her at all. Mena at once felt anxious and helpless, ready to ask Zel to step back into those panties a minute longer, just so that she could make it through the night._____
_____"There." Zel said, "all done. "Now, how about you? Are you all right all bound like that?" She began to approach Mena again, her steps slow and calculated. The towel she still clung to hung loosely from her fingers, her breasts and hips available on either side.
_____What Mena felt bound her was Zel herself, her body, her voice, things she did and did not say, but Mena didn't say this. Instead she whispered, "I'm cool," even though she was not. Her panties had grown uncomfortably wet and she wished she could peel the tight jeans from her hips and stand before Zel now, facing her with her own nakedness.
_____Zel stopped right before her now, her breasts pressing against Mena's fitted top. She bent to kiss her lips, slid her tongue inside and sucked. She moaned. "I missed you, Zel, I missed you." They were words that she had never breathed life into until now.
_____Mena's hands went places she could not control, around Zel's waist, at the base of her back, against the roundness of her ass. She did miss her. Missed her like a meal she would never have again, and it had only been three hours since she saw her last.
_____Zel's answer was in the movement of her hands working feverishly to remove Mena's clothes. Her top went over her head, her locs extending then retracting against her scalp with the movement. She felt her bra snap and slide against her back on its way to the floor. The button of her jeans unsnapped, and in one aggressive tug, Zel had completed her task and her clothes lay in a tangled heap near the coffee table.
_____Mena's feet moved with Zel's guidance toward the walls and they beckoned her, taunted her, called her to them. The bed was still unmade from when she left here last and she could still feel its warmth. She felt the softness of the cotton sheets meet her ass. She felt her knees bend, lift and part. She felt the heat of Zel's breath where her thighs joined in a warm dark center.
_____"But I want to talk to you," she breathed, her stomach caving with each stroke of Zel's tongue. "I need to talk to you. There are so many things I want to tell you." Mena wished she could be a frog and pull those words back with her tongue but they were gone now, floating aimlessly in the air until Zel caught them and answered. Mena so hoped Zel would answer.
_____"So, tell me," Zel said between breaths and swift licks of Mena's clit. "Tell me all the things you want to say and never could. Be free, Mena, I don't mind." She placed Mena's legs over her shoulder and kissed her thighs. "Is that good?" she asked her eyebrows arched, her tongue working magic over Mena's body.
_____"Yes, Zel that's wonderful, but I need to tell you..." Mena shifted in a strange mixture of discomfort and pleasure. "I need you to know..." she began.
_____"Yes, Mena? Yes? You need to tell me..." Zel plunged deeper with her tongue, causing Mena body to shiver and her eyes to roll.
_____"Zel," she breathed, "Sometimes I just don't know where I'm going with you." Mena turned on her side following Zel's lead as she lay on her right side, her head between Mena's thighs. "I just don't know what my purpose here, is."
_____Zel pulled herself from Mena's wetness. "You may go with me wherever you want," she said. "Your purpose is what it is. I've not tried to make this complicated at all, Mena."
_____And it wasn't complicated. It was a simple as one quick motion where Mena clutched Zel's head and brought it up to her face. She tasted herself on Zel's lips on her tongue and a feeling of warmth rushed over her. She sucked Zel's earlobes which were unpierced and traced the inside of her ear before she whispered, "I just miss you so fucking bad, sometimes. Sometimes I want to come over in the middle of the night and fuck you, then just lay here and not have to worry about when I've stayed too long."
_____Mena moved and allowed Zel to slide farther onto the bed. Her hands went to Zel's pussy, which was warm, wet and freshly shaved. She pushed her fingers inside and hoped she hadn't said too much; she hoped this wouldn't be the last time she lay with Zel inside these red walls.
_____But Zel interrupted her thoughts. "So do it," she said, her eyes unblinking, her voice steady and slow. "Fuck me like you missed me these last few hours. Fuck me like you thought you were never going to see me again in your life."
_____But that was truer than Zel knew, because it was the way that Mena felt every time she left. It was the way she felt every time she said goodbye for even a minute. She brought her fingers up to her lips and sucked them each. Zel moaned and kissed Mena's chin.
_____"I love you, Zel, you know that?" Mena said, although she hadn't meant it to come out just then. What if Zel didn't love her back? What if Zel stopped everything completely and asked her to leave because she had never made Mena any promises, ever?
_____Zel pressed Mena's shoulders into the pillow, her face hovering her own. Zel's eyes smiled, her lips pressed together. She lowered herself above Mena's body and traced and undetectable map across her body with her tongue until she reached Mena's pussy where she played, lick, and sucked.
_____And Mena knew. "But, you don't love me, Zel, do you?" she asked, and she wasn't sure that Zel would answer. She wasn't even sure that she even cared anymore. "You only love me here, this way, inside these walls. You can't see me any other way can you?"
_____Zel pressed her finger against her own lips and shook her head, silencing Mena. She pressed her breasts against Mena's, their nipples kissing. She lifted her knee to meet the hot, wet place she had spent the last hour kissing. She rubbed her knee there. She brought Mena's head to hers and kissed her lips. "I love you, Mena," she said, "inside these walls, outside these walls, I love you."
_____Mena returned Zel's kiss with a soft stroke of her finger in Zel's wetness. "But this is all we ever are. We are here; we are this, and then I am home missing you so fucking bad."
_____"But you come back, don't you, Mena? You come back, we do it all over again, and it's not because I don't have anything else to do. It's because I love what we have here, what we are here."
_____"But can we only be this here?" She lifted her arms. "Can we not be this outside or even inside a place other than here?"
_____"Well, I happen to like you, here," Zel said. "I like you in the middle of all my red. You just go so well together. But, I want you inside these red walls and out, Mena," she said.
_____Mena leaned into Zel, her fingers tracing circles on the insides of Zel's arms. "I guess I like me in red, too," she breathed, pulling Zel's mouth to hers and sliding her tongue all the way in. "But more than that, I like me in you, Zel."
_____"Then get in me," Zel said and pulled Mena into her legs, into her arms, into her hands.
_____Mena lay, trapped, inside the red walls, inside Zel, woman lost, forever.


Copyright © 2001. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.

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