Ms. Kat Tamer
_____The strawberry colored satin sheets flowed gently off the bed like a stream
of water finding it's way to a secluded and exotic waterfall. Candles of
blues, reds, oranges and yellows burned silently as their soft glow created
silhouettes against the wall. Their bodies were entwined so close that not
even the cool air from the open window could penetrate their unyielding bond.
Lovers for the last two years, Diamond and Natasha decided to finalize their
_____"I love you so much Diamond and I can't wait until tomorrow when you will
become Mrs. Natasha Smith", she said while caressing her soft cheek and
admiring her beauty. Her index finger slowly traced its way down her face and
around her ears. It finally rested within the humid confines of her mouth.
She pulled it out and inserted it into her own. She savored the flavor of her
_____" I love you too, and I can't wait to be Mrs. Smith", she said kissing her
soul mate softly on the lips, "I've been dreaming of this day since we first
_____"I have too and I can't wait to be your hersband. I want to give you
everything I have inside of me."
_____Natasha pulled her closer to her and began to stroke her in places that
made her body shudder in expectancy. The scent of their sex alone was the
ultimate aphrodisiac. It awakened their most intimate desires. As the
tantalizingly delicious scent drifted throughout the room, their bodies
connected even more. Natasha slowly kissed Diamond while simultaneously
spreading her legs. Diamond opened her eyes and stared into Natasha's face.
Natasha lowered her body until she reached the top of Diamond's thighs. She
brushed the soft pubic hair that was there with her chin. Diamond was so wet
that it was a damn shame. Finally Natasha began to devour her. She let her
tongue flicker against Diamond's engorged clit.
_____Three orgasms and a Diet Coke later, their lovemaking session was over. With
their bodies drenched in sweat, they held each other close while enjoying
their final act of sin, before becoming hersband and wife. After regaining
her strength, Natasha showered and headed back to her apartment to get ready
for their big day on tomorrow.
_____Her wedding day had finally arrived. After months of planning, she'd made
it. In less than two hours, she and Natasha would be standing before God and
all of His witnesses, exchanging their vows to one another. Diamond sat
anxiously at the mirrored desk as the makeup artist skillfully applied her
makeup, and the hairdresser added his final touch on her magnificent, upswept
_____"Rene, I'm so nervous that I'm about to shit on myself! I feel like my
heart is about to jump out my throat!"
_____"You'll be okay Diamond! You just having wedding day jitters, so it's
only natural that you feel like this way. I know it's a big step. I mean you
can't go clubbing, you can't do whatever you what, fuck whoever you want or
even spend your own damn money the way you want but, child, it's worth it.
It'll be over before you know it. Then you and that caramel dream of yours
will be on your honeymoon tearing those sheets up something terrible!", Rene
said as she held Diamond's hand firmly, gently stroking it as she reassured
her. The two of them had been friends since elementary school, and they
thought of each other as sisters. That was the reason she'd asked Rene to be
her Maid of Honor.
_____"You're right, girl, I guess I do need to relax. I ain't got nothing to worry
_____"Right! When you walk out there, Natasha's sexy ass is going to be
standing there, waiting for you to join her", she said as she kissed Diamond
on the cheek.
_____"Now, let me go and get dressed because I have a bouquet to catch! Us
'SINGLE' women need studs in our lives and a little sex would help too!" Rene
said, putting emphasis on the word 'single'. Just as she reached the door,
_____"Rene!" Diamond shouted.
_____"Wassup D?" Rene said turning to face her.
_____"No problem girl, now go out there and get your woman."
_____Diamond closed her eyes and began to say a little prayer. This was how she
dealt with the stress in her life. After a long pause, she opened her eyes
slowly and said "Amen." As she stood looking at herself in the marbled
mirror, there was a knock at the door. Before she had time to answer, Rene
had already stuck her head into the room.
_____"I just saw Natasha downstairs and she handed me this note to give to you,"
she said as she passed the piece of alabaster colored parchment paper to
Diamond. A closer observation revealed that it was one of their wedding
programs. "She wanted to come and talk to you in person, but I told her that
it was bad luck for her to see you before the wedding. She asked me to give
you this," she said as Diamond anxiously took the note from her hand.
"She's so amazing, huh? I guess that's why I'm marrying her. I never know
what to expect from her. She's so spontaneous!"
_____"Well, enough talking, open it and see what the fuck was so important that it
couldn't wait until after the ceremony!", Rene said reaching towards the
folded piece of paper as if she were going to open it herself.
_____ Diamond had a big smile plastered on her face from the anticipation. She
was used to Naquan pulling stunts like that, so she wasn't fazed by it. As
she read the note, her facial expressions changed radically.
_____"Oh my God! Damn that piece of shit!!" she screamed dropping the piece of
paper to the floor.
_____"What's wrong?" Rene said as she kneeled down to retrieve the note. She
blinked her eyes and looked at the paper again, as if she were seeing things.
_____"That Bitch! I don't believe this. How could she do this?" she said
forgetting that Diamond was still standing next to her. "I'm so sorry D, I
didn't mean to say those terrible things I should've been more considerate of
your feelings," she said frowning as the taste of salt filled her mouth from
the streams of tears that had began to flow uncontrollably.
I AM SORRY, BUT I JUST CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS WEDDING. I'M JUST NOT READY
FOR THAT TYPE OF COMMITMENT. I TRULY LOVE YOU, BUT THERE ARE A FEW THINGS
THAT I NEED TO WORK OUT ON MY OWN. I HOPE THAT, ONE DAY, YOU CAN FIND IT IN
YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE ME.
Love Always, Natasha
_____Diamond, by this time, was hysterical. She bent over and held her
stomach, gasping for air. Rene reached out and pulled her near, comforting
her, trying to ease her pain. After a few moments, Diamond regained her
breath, but the pain was still there. She reached for Rene and held her as
the tears flooded her eyes, but she never said a word. The pain in her eyes
spoke every word that her mouth couldn't.
_____"I know that it may not seem like it now, but this shit is going to get
better. You gotta believe that, girl," Rene said as though she was trying to
convince herself as well.
_____"How could she just walk out on me like that? That bitch said she loved me!"
Diamond placed her hands over her heart as though the pain that she was
experiencing was actual physical pain. "Please tell me this shit isn't true,
Rene. I just paid $650,000 for a damn wedding dress so tell me it isn't true!
Please tell me that, will you?"
_____Knowing that words couldn't ease her pain, Rene simply wrapped her arms
around her and held her close, gently stroking her hair.
_____"This can't be happening! Please tell me that this is some kind of nightmare,
and that I'm going to wake up any minute!" Diamond said sobbing
_____"Everything's going to be okay. You just can't see it now. It's going to be
all right. She never deserved you anyway! You're too good for her anyway,"
she said getting a half smile from Diamond.
_____After sitting quietly for nearly an hour, Diamond finally spoke. "I guess I'd
better go out there and tell everyone that there isn't going to be a wedding.
Damn, who's going to pay for all that shit out there? I'ma have to work
overtime like a bitch". Just as she started to move, Rene stopped her.
"No, you sit and rest. I'll go and let everyone know wassup."
_____ Diamond didn't argue with her. She didn't have the strength, or the courage,
to go out there and face all of her family and friends. After Rene delivered
the bad news to everyone, she came back to join Diamond once again.
"For real Rene, I'd like to be alone right now."
_____" I understand, but Mike-Mike and them said that if they found Natasha's
sorry ass that they was gonna fuck her up and you know those fools just got
outta jail too but if you need me just holla at me girl. I'll be in the
backyard next to swings, okay?" she said, not leaving until she'd gotten a
_____"Okay," Diamond said. Her voice was almost gone from all of the crying that
_____Hours after the tears had begun to fall and curious guests had poked their
noses through the door of the dressing room to offer their pity, she walked
out into the empty sanctuary. As she walked slowly down the aisle, she could
hear the soft music playing in her mind. Luther Vandross was belting out his
soulful rendition of "Here and Now." It was the song that she and Natasha
chose to have playing as she made her way down the isle.
She carefully tried to pace her steps and keep in rhythm with the song's
melody that she heard so vividly. The closer she got to the altar, the more
her heart raced. The more pain she felt. She stopped abruptly about five
paces short of the altar. She reached down onto the pew and grabbed one of
the bridesmaid's bouquets. With her hands placed together in front of her,
she extended her arms slightly. She stood in a trance, staring straight
_____"I now pronounce you hersband and wife. You may kiss your bride."
"Kiss your bride."
_____"Kiss your bride." Those words echoed as sirens ringing in Diamond's ears.
She felt daggers being poked into her heart as she stood beneath the white
arch that was standing in the center of the altar.
_____"Kiss your fucking bride, Natasha!" she shouted as she threw her bouquet
against the candelabra that housed the unity candle that they were supposed
light during their wedding ceremony; a candle that represented their coming
together as one.
_____ As the tears mixed with the black eyeliner, they formed tiny streams that
gently flowed down her face, tracing each crevice they found. The silky curls
that she'd adorned only hours ago were now tear-soaked and trundling down the
brow of her forehead, annoyingly sticking to her face. Tiny specks of the
almond colored foundation that once made her face look so flawless were now
entwined with the tiny pearls that had been delicately hand stitched onto her
custom made Vera Wang wedding gown.
_____She sat down, sobbing uncontrollably beneath the flower-decorated arch at the
end of the aisle.
_____"Why Natasha? Why the fuck did you do this to me? Why did you do this to us?"
she shouted as if he were standing there before her.
_____"Oh God! How could this happen? How could you let Natasha walk out on me like
that?" she said as she stood up and began knocking over the arch and
candelabra. She clutched her fist tightly and swung with all of her might.
"I hate you Natasha! You selfish motherfucker! Fuck me for not leaving you! I
hate you!" she shouted as she continued to destroy the rest of the
decorations. She ripped the bows that hung delicately on the edge of the
wooden pews. Finally, after all of her energy was gone, she fell helplessly
to the floor. There were no more tears to be shed. Her well had run dry. All
she felt now was the spear piercing her heart that much deeper. Her soul had
been viciously ripped from within.
_____At that moment, she felt as though there was nothing more to live for. Her
soul mate for life, or so she thought, had abandoned her on their wedding day
of all days.
_____Although five months had passed, Diamond still felt the pain and emptiness
that Natasha had caused. She'd single-handedly ruined her life. Not only was
she heartbroken but she was in debt. But she still loved Natasha. For what
purpose, it wasn't clear.
_____Throughout the whole ordeal, Diamond had two people
that she could really count on. Rene and Jada. Whenever she needed another
person's perspective on something or simply for companionship's sake, she
would call on Jada. Their "relationship" had been put on hold due to
Natasha's jealousy, but now, since she was no longer in the picture, their
friendship resumed. Jada and Diamond spent many nights together watching
movies, going out to dinner, and making out.
_____Although they'd grown close to one another once again, their relationship was never consummated. That would
involve too many emotions and Diamond wasn't ready for that just yet.
They'd gone out to dinner and since it was getting late, they decided to call
it a night. Jada kissed her on the cheek and went on her way. Diamond walked
into her apartment, flipped the light switch on and immediately began to
undress as she made her way to her bedroom. As she walked towards her
bathroom she glanced over at the nightstand and noticed that the red light on
the answering machine was blinking. She pressed the play button and listened
as she searched the drawer for her nightclothes.
_____"Diamond, its me, Natasha. I hope that you can, someday find it in your heart
to forgive me. I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry. That was never my intention.
I was just scared. Marriage is a big step, and I wasn't sure that I was ready
to make it. I realize that I should have said something sooner, but I
couldn't bring myself to do it. I realized that I made a mistake and I want
to try and make it right with you."
_____"Hi Diamond, it's Jada. I'm really enjoying having dinner with you tonight.
I hope that we can get together again real soon. Give me a call when you get
_____'That must have been the call she made when she went to the restroom during
dinner. How romantic!'
_____"D, its Tasha again. I need to talk to you. Please call me. We really need
to get this stuff out into the open. Call me, okay?"
_____'Fuck her and why does she keep calling me anyway?'
_____"Diamond, please, I'm begging you. Just give me ten minutes. I want...no, I
need to tell you how I feel. I need to get something off of my chest. I love
you Diamond. It took me a long time to finally realize that I do want to
marry you. I been miserable without you. Please call me so we can talk.
That's all. Nothing more, nothing less."
_____Diamond finally called her. "I'll meet you, Natasha, on one condition."
"I don't care, you just name it!" she said.
_____"We meet at Leadenhall."
_____"The church we were supposed to get married at?"
_____"Yeah, that's the place. You still remember where it is right?"
_____"Yeah, I remember, but do we have to meet there?"
_____"Of all places, you chose Leadenhall!"
_____"Look, if you want to talk, then meet me there at four-thirty. Make sure that
you are there on time because if you aren't, I'm going to leave and I WON'T
meet you again!" she said and hung up the phone before she had a chance to
_____Natasha arrived at the church on time. As she walked into the dimly lit
sanctuary, she saw Diamond sitting in the front on the first pew. With each
step that she made, her heart pounded like a drum major at his best. Tiny
beads of sweat formed on her brow almost instantly. When she finally reached
the front pew, she was speechless.
_____As their eyes met, Natasha could see the pain in Diamond's eyes. Pain that
she'd caused. There were so many words she'd memorized, but none of them came
to her remembrance at the time of need. She opened her mouth but nothing came
out. She kneeled down before her grabbing her hand gently as she finally
gathered up enough courage to speak. A tear rolled slowly down her cheek.
"I'm sorry for all the pain that I caused you. I know my words may not count
for much right now, but I really am sorry for what I did."
_____"How the fuck could you do that to me? To us? Do you know how embarrassed I
was? And where the hell is the $6,536 that your sorry ass owes me? I thought
that you really cared about me!"
_____"I did care about you! I still do! I just fucked up, that's all. I don't know
why I did what I did, but I hope that, someday, you'll forgive me"
"We made love the night before for, and you didn't show any sign that you
were having second thoughts. How could you change like day and night just
like that!" she said snapping her fingers.
_____"I can't explain what I was feeling. When I left my apartment heading for the
church, I was fine, but when I walked out into the sanctuary and saw all of
those people there, I panicked. I couldn't breathe! I felt like the walls
were coming down around me. I wanted to talk to you so I came around to your
dressing room. That's when I saw Rene. She wouldn't let me in to see you. She
said that it was bad luck, so I gave her the note and asked her to give it to
you. That was the hardest thing that I've ever done."
_____"Why couldn't you have just told me how you were feeling? Don't you think I
would have taken it from you a lot easier that way, rather than you just
walking out on me, leaving me without a clue? Didn't I at least deserve that
_____"I know that now. I've realized a lot since you've been gone. There isn't a
day that has gone by that I haven't thought about you or the mess that I've
made out of things."
_____"You're right about that. You definitely made a mess of things!"
_____"I deserved that," she said holding her hands up in the "surrender" position.
"I definitely deserved that!"
_____"I want to hate you Natasha, believe me I've tried, but I can't find it in my
heart to do so."
_____"I still love you, Diamond, that has never changed."
_____"I love you too Tasha but there is so much that has happened, I'm just not
sure about anything."
_____"We can make it work, I know we can."
_____"I don't know. There is just too much pain still there."
"We can get through this. We have to. Just give me one more chance and I
promise to make things right," she said still kneeling before her.
_____"We can try, but that's all I can promise you at this point," she said
allowing her to hug her.
_____Diamond planned an intimate dinner celebration for Natasha's twenty-third
birthday. She'd made reservations at Inferno and invited all of her closest
friends. Jada came as well. Natasha looked at Jada with bullets in her eyes
aiming them right her way. Jada smiled and looked away. That pissed Natasha
off even more, but they were celebrating her birthday and she didn't want to
cause a scene. She just held her peace.
_____They all sat around the table and talked as they ate their dinners. Finally,
after everyone finished their dessert, Diamond stood up to make a toast.
Cling, Cling, Cling! The glass rang out as she hit it with her fork.
"May I have your attention please! I'd like to make a toast to the birthday
girl. Stand up Tasha! ,"she said grabbing her by the arm and pulling on it to
help her up.
_____"I just like to say that this is a very special day for many reasons. For
one, you have finally made it to the big two-three. That's an accomplishment
in it self." Everyone laughed because they knew how much of a daredevil
Natasha was. She'd had many close calls but somehow managed to come out of
them without so much as a scratch. Diamond continued as Natasha stood up with
a smile that went from one side of her face to the other.
_____"Two, this is a very special day for me as well," she said still standing
next to Natasha. Just as she said that, Jada stood up.
_____"You see, today, Jada and I got married!" she said showing off her huge
diamond ring. While everyone congratulated them, Natasha fell to her seat in
disbelief. Her lips stood open and her hand rested just above her heart.
_____ "When did all this go on? How did you manage to sneak off and get married?"
_____"Well, lover boy, I didn't sneak anywhere. Let's remember that I'm a grown
woman and I can come and go as I please. But to answer your question we went
to the courthouse this morning", said Diamond, delighted at the response she
was getting from Natasha. She was so comical. And were those tears that she
saw in her eyes?
_____"Look Diamond I'm sorry for what happened between us but we can work through
this," Natasha said while resting her hand on Diamond's arm.
_____"Hmm.. let me think about it. Stay with a selfish bitch or stay married to a
beautiful, energetic and loving woman? I think I'll stay with my baby."
_____Payback's a bitch, ain't it??
Copyright © 2002. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.