KUMA: A Quartet by Insatiable K

PORTRAIT
I bet you didn't notice the portrait on the wall? She is me. Hourglass figured lady, naked and bound.

Admired by some, laughed at, pointed out and dismantled. Liquid lounge, new age 60ish flair. Need to be a Barbie looking flake boob job and skimpily dressed woman to get in. Membership is excluded and blacks are seldom included.

Off to Cosmos, lil mishap. I'm carded and we’re in. Retro but neoclassic chic. No words spoken then you started loud talking, semi harsh words like everything else I shrugged it off.

Waitress reluctant to bring back change in fear of no tip. Chocolate chips sprinkled in the space. You fit in nicely but I'm grossly out of place.

You didn't notice the portrait on the wall?

Selfish you can't tell that I'm not feeling well; you only notice that out of my mouth comes nothing. You storm out of the restaurant. Long walk to car. Stopped to give a disabled brother in wheelchair left over money for an unappreciated meal.

Speeding will get you a ticket not away from me, you will once again write "I'm tired of this shit, I deserve better, why can't she talk to me," but you stay and so do I putting up with your bourgeois, childish ways.

I couldn't see the lady's face but I know she is me. Glasses off, everything and blue just my life, no clarity just a pleasant headache rendering picture. Her body, though seductive and shocking looked pale and pained. Nice portrait of me.

MAYBE
Maybe I should get another woman not necessarily older but definitely not you. Who are we kidding we can't be together you're trying to reclaim you youth and have fun. I'm trying to keep my sanity and graduate from college.

You're in a fantasy dream when reality hits you jump up and down and holler like a spoiled child. I'm tired of playing mommy/roommate only select few know the truth. Don't come out for me I don't need the blame for anything else that goes wrong in your life you don't need to be with a woman that's too hard for you. Sex can't compensate for love; it's time to let go. The ride was wild, fun and exciting but it's come to an end.

Maybe an older woman would be better for me. Someone who is more mature, comfortable with and acts her age. Maybe an older woman would be good for me. Secure in who she is, one who hides behind no facades, doesn’t make or offer excuses, handles her finances with finesse, goes after what she wants.

She will treat me like, she wants to be treated, won't be insecure. One who knows there's more to having fun than clubbing. She won't have to or want to fit in, she'll be true to herself and what she represents. She'll book for no easy way out or be anyone's scapegoat. She will stand on her own two feet, one who is comfortable being leaned on just as much as she leans.

But I know that you are and are becoming the woman that I want. I pray that you let God work with and through you so that you can see what I see. A beautiful queen who means so much to me. I love you and a part of me longs to see the new you and the other part wants to go on with my life. For I don't know if you'll ever see what I see in you and what God wants for you.

WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
Was it really a fantasy? It seemed so real. Your body and mine swaying to passionate, love filled signs. Staring into each other's eyes, singing, and saying "You love me" to each other. You were the only one I was thinking of. I believed I saw the same feeling in your eyes. I felt it in your arms as they encircled me and held me close to you. Was it really because we were in a different city? Why couldn't it have been the same here? The love inst different or is it? Were you someone else that weekend? I've heard tourists say New Orleans is a place of fantasy and sensuality. I made love to you that weekend did you only sex me? There was no masquerade ball or parades, my feelings, words and thoughts were the truest they'd ever been. I hope you find what you're searching for. I found a lot of things in you, with you. I found me with you. For that I'll be forever grateful. I'll always remember what could have been if you'd allowed yourself to just rest. Rest in our love and God's presence in J'aime vous toujours.

DREAMING OF YOU
I stand at the door looking at God's work. I see the green trees and dry grass and the drying flowers. There has been no rain. Suddenly you appear. You walk up the steps with tears in your eyes. I look away but you're still there. I open the door as I step outside everything disappeared but you. You explain how you feel and how sorry you are. I listen and stare at you in awe. Are you real? I touch your face and watch your lips move. I take in your smell and smile. I grab you and pull you close to me. "It doesn't matter what you did or why we broke apart all that matters is that you're here and that we still have love." I kiss your neck and slowly pull away. I look into your beautiful brown eyes and lick your lips as our eyes close we're thrust into oblivion. With the first stroke of your tongue against mine my heart skipped a beat. The first time we kissed I felt heat, intense longing; this time I only felt love, pure unadulterated love. I feel the tear stream down my face and as I turn from the door I see a lone bunny hop across the yard and I laugh.