by Renee Carlson

Not sure how I failed to realize that I'm still living hour to hour for the sound of your voice Needing to hang there---being cushioned by the love that is present in the way you speak to me having access to that part of myself that is rarely touchable unless you are nearby

Do I only breathe when I talk to you and just spend the rest of my existence holding it all in?

Do I think of anything when I am separate from you other than how much I miss you?

If you could fathom the joy that is mine when our souls link, you would never question my love for you and as much as I love you--I also hate you for imposing your will upon my heart's deepest desires hate you for giving me the quick tour of paradise only to place me back in a reality that falls short of bliss with every passing second just because you are not there I doubt I will ever be free of the explosions occurring in my mind right this second as I think of making love to you and I don't want to be without these sensations

Not now, not ever.

Copyright © 1999. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.