by ADC

I can't feel no more pain

All I feel is the way
You used to fuck me
Until my coochie bled
A pretty red
On those damn white sheets
Until my pussylips were swollen
And sore
Until I felt everything you did
In my fingers and my chest
And my brain
Until we were both cumming and crying
And connecting and feeling

And the way you would hold me
Afterwards
Taking special care to
Pat me down with cool water
To stop the throbbing
Mop up the bleeding
With your soft tongue
Rock me to sleep in the softest
Of soft butch arms

If anybody else saw us
Knew what we could be
Behind closed doors
They would think we were crazy

But I can't feel that

All I can feel is the breeze
In the room
From when you slammed the door
In my face
Over and over
Leaving me again and again
Flipping my universe upside down
Making me feel insane
Until I couldn't distinguish
Agony from ecstasy

All I can feel is being
Locked up tight
Inside the house, crying
Until I heard the sound
I listened for -
The sound of you gently knocking at the door
Running to it
And dropping everything
Just to take you back
To give you
Permission for yet another trespass

In retrospect I see now
That we were both too fucked up
To keep ourselves from fucking up each other

But darlin' I can't feel that

Not no more
All I can feel is fatigue
Getting up from the bed
The moments we used to share
The wet kisses I used to greet you with
The passion we used to bathe in
The way you used to breathe life
Into my aching heart

Leaving you now
I pray to feel something
Anything
But knowing that I can't
I can't hold you up
And me too
Can't massage your demons away
When you have become my own personal hell
Knowing that what you want
Is something I can't feel anymore

Copyright 1999. All Rights Reserved. Used with Author's permission.

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