(Part 2)
by
Lil AJ
_____Are You My Friend? Yeah right. How did Tay expect us to be friends? She cheated, I cheated, and we didn’t trust each other at all. I wanted to trust her again I wanted her trust me, but c’mon I’m not crazy. There was no way it could happen this soon and lets be real here, without trust there was nothing. No friendship, no relationship, nothing. I tried to be her friend but I wanted her too bad and she wanted me the same way. How could you be friends with someone when you want so much more? When you feel so much more? In a perfect world it might have been possible, but my world was less than perfect.
_____I spoke to Tay a few times after our last encounter. It was awkward and sounded rehearsed. We had a strict director and ad-libbing the script wasn’t allowed. Phrases like “I miss you” and “I love you” were changed to “How’ve you been?” and “Take care.” Deafening silent pauses always came before the end of the conversations. We used to always say “I love you” before we hung up. Now it was a simple “Take care,” which made me cry on a few occasions. Nah man, being “friends” was out. It was Asha-ly impossible. Most of the time we spoke it was her who called. I’m not saying I didn’t want to call her, I just wasn’t going to. Call it stupid pride or whatever but it wasn’t going to be me. When I said I needed time apart I meant it.
_____As the days and weeks rolled by the calls got less on her part and non-existent on mine. I was determined not to speak to Tay until she was out of my system completely. The not speaking to her part was easy, it was the seeing her part that ended up screwing us up. Its not easy to avoid someone gay forever when damn near every gay person hangs out in the same places on any given night. On Saturday it was a little different because there were a whopping three spots that were poppin’, but of course I had the most fukked up luck in the world and ended up at the same place as Tay. I acted like I didn’t see her. I just grabbed my cue stick and my balls and I racked up at a corner table. The pool hall was like a little club/arcade/pool hall complete with fast food so a grip of people chilled there. Saturday was known as “Rainbow Cue Night” and if you got there early enough you got to be one of the lucky ones with the actual rainbow cue sticks. Anyway, I was just about to break when Tay came and sat on my table.
_____“Wassup Asha?” she said smiling. I wasn’t amused.
_____“Why you gonna go sit on my table when you see me about to break?”
_____“Damn, can a nigga get a ‘hi’?”
_____“Hi Tay. Now can you raise up so I can break?”
_____“Fine yo.” She got up and stood next to me.
_____“Well since you’re standing here in my way you may as well get your ass kicked.”
_____“Nah its aiigh. I already got my ass kicked twice tonight.” She smiled.
_____“I ain’t surprised. You always did suck.” I laughed.
_____“Yeah and very well if you remember.” She flashed that smile that I loved. The one that always made me wet. I ignored her comment and the feeling that was growing between my legs. I had to get out of this situation before she really got to me. Never let ‘em see you sweat, or in my case, never let ‘em get you wet. I decided to play my game and whip it home. I would be safe there. Just me, Ben, Jerry, Sanaa, and Omar all getting down for one big, frozen, athletically romantic evening. *Smile* I know, I know, that sounded real sick. I laughed out loud at my thought.
_____“What’s so funny?” asked Tay.
_____“Nothing, I was just thinking about something.”
_____“Penny for your thoughts.”
_____“Nigga please. I have a degree in Artist Relations. My thoughts are worth way more than a penny.”
_____“Damn Asha you can never just answer a question can you?”
She was getting aggravated. I smiled. Score one for Asha.
_____“You didn’t ask me a question. You offered me a penny which I snidely declined.”
_____“Fukk it. I don’t even know why I bother. I’m trying to be nice and you acting like a fukkin’…” Tay stopped her sentence short and just looked at the ceiling.
_____“Like a fukkin’ what?” I was waiting for her to finish her thought.
_____“Nothing Asha just forget it.”
_____“Go ahead and say it Tay. Like a fukkin’ bitch.”
_____“You said it not me. Anyway I gotta go. Holla.” She was looking past me. When she started to walk away I saw why she left. A female about five-ten, light-skinned but a little darker than me, with short blond boy-curls, wearing a smoke gray mini-dress that matched her eyes, was standing by a very near-by pool table with two rainbow cues flashing her just too cute dimples. I was about to puke. As she gave Tay a very breast induced hug she just had to make my nausea worse by saying “hey Tay-Tay.” Tay-Tay? Oh give me a fukkin’ break. It was definitely time to go home. I packed up the balls and cue and returned them to the front desk. I decided to look in Tay’s direction one last time. Just in time to see Ms. Dimples press Tay against the pool table and kiss her. Tay caught my eyes just before I turned back around. She gave me some sad ass puppy-dog look and shook her head. I turned and walked out. So much for friends.
_____“You Used To Be Mine When The Chips Were Down” This was so true. There were times when Tay and I were going through the worst times on Earth. Not with each other, but with things in our personal ciphers and nothing could come between us. At times it seemed as if we were the only ones who understood what the other was going through. I never thought we would break up. I never thought in a million years we would become these physically separated yet emotionally attached entities. Beings who harbored such strong feelings of hurt, bitterness, passion, and longing. Basically beings in love. I wanted to blame Nya for what happened but it was Tay’s fault. She didn’t have to fukk Nya. I wanted to blame Tay for what I did but it was my fault. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But it sure as Hell makes it even doesn’t it? Yes it does, even more fukked up. So what happens when the chips are no longer just down, but completely buried under six feet of pain? What do you do then? The questions that were rapidly forming in my head with no answers to follow were giving me the headache of life. I couldn’t take it and even Sanaa, Omar, Ben, and Jerry couldn’t help this time. I ended up just crying myself to sleep like I’ve done do many other nights over Tay only to be awakened by her an hour later.
_____“Girl Can’t You See How I Feel?” Tay was on the other end of my phone at after two in the morning trying to explain who Ms. Dimples was and what happened after I left the Rainbow Cue.
_____“Asha, I’m sorry to wake you but I need to talk to you.”
_____“Its beyond two in the AM Tay. What is so important that you couldn’t wait until a decent hour?”
_____“What you seen at the Cue wasn’t what it looked like.”
_____“You woke me up for that? Who cares? We’re not together anymore Tay, you don’t owe me any explanations. Especially not after two in the AM.”
_____“Asha please just listen. You didn’t see everything. It ain’t nothing with me and Tifa.”
_____“Is that her name? Nice…Tifa…whatever. Like I said it doesn’t matter.”
_____“Will you just listen for a minute, damn. I met Tifa one night when we first broke up while I was in the Cue trying to do something other than go crazy missing you. Which was what I was doing tonight. She was real cool and let me just vent and talk about you all night. I didn’t even know she liked me until tonight when she did that shit. Tonight was the first time we chilled alone since the first night we met. Its always a group. My niggas and her chicks just chillin and shit. We were supposed to be going to the club and she said she would pick me up from the Cue. She pulled that kissing me shit when she seen you. I got pissed and basically flipped on her and left her ass at the Cue and I went to Reesie’s crib and told her what happened. Reesie said I shoulda beat Tifa’s ass for that dumb shit, but anyways Ash, I was type live ‘cuz you seen that bullshit and I wanted to see you but Reesie said to call you first ‘cuz it was mad late and you probably ain’t wanna see me anyway after that. So basically I’m calling to ask you can I come through. Ash I miss you yo.”
_____Ok now what do I do? I wanted to see her but I knew how this would play out. Tay comes, we talk, I cry, she holds me, next is the kiss, then finally we end up fukking and then everything stays the same. Unfortunately love is a bitch and as much as I wanted to hang up on her chocolate ass I couldn’t. I hated her. I hated her so much it hurt. And the reason why I hated her so bad was because I loved her so much and I couldn’t stop. Indifference. The opposite of love. The state of having no emotion whatsoever. I needed indifference. Unfortunately I wasn’t indifferent towards her so guess what I did.
_____“Yeah Tay c’mon. Hurry up as it is now two-thirty-one in the AM.” Love mixed with hate.
_____“Aiigh I’m on my way now.”
_____“I mean it Taylor. Now or font come at all. It is now two-thirty-one and twenty-five seconds in the AM.”
_____“Aiigh Asha I’m on my way. One.” She hung up before I could say anything else.
_____Why did I let that nigga get to me? Why is she able to just come in and out of my life like this? Love? Definitely. Stupidity? Maybe. Whatever the reason was, Ms. Taylor Wise wasn’t going anywhere and whether I liked it or not didn’t matter.
_____At two-forty-seven my doorbell rang. I looked through the peek-hole just to make sure it was Tay. I was so happy to see her, but yet so pissed at the same time.
_____“I Need You.” Those were the words Tay uttered as she walked through my door and without thinking to stop myself I said them back.
_____“Asha don’t play with my emotions aiigh. I’m serious when I tell you I need you. I been sick without you.”
_____“Tay I have more important things to do at two-forty-eight in the AM besides play with your emotions. You know a little thing called sleep perhaps. I been sick without you too. I was about to lose my mind when I seen Ms. Tifa all up on you like that. I wanted to kick the shit out of both of you.”
_____“I know I seen your face, but it woulda only been one shit kickin’ in the Cue. Don’t forget who you’re talking to girl.” She smiled.
_____“Yeah whateva nigga. You woulda caught it too.” I smiled back.
_____“Nah but on some serious, I’m sorry about that for real and trust won’t no shit like that happen again.”
_____I realized we were still standing in front of my door. I grabbed Tay’s hand and led her to the bedroom she knew so well.
_____“How about you join me, Sanaa, Omar, Ben, and Jerry for a romantically athletic frozen orgy.” I said smiling as I tossed her the remote for the DVD player. I took up her ice cream spoon from the end table and waved it at her teasing her.
_____“Aiigh bet.” She said as she caught the remote.
_____“I’ll be right back.” I went to wash off her spoon and get the ice cream. By the time I got back Tay was already comfortable. She had her shirt and jeans off, laying up on the bed in a beater and some boxers, with the remote still in her hand pointing at the DVD player.
_____“C’mon Ash so I can start our movie.” She patted the spot next to her. My spot. She was on her side of the bed patting my spot just like she used to do when we were living together. As I walked towards the bed Tay sat up and opened her arms.
_____“C’mere Sexy.” She said with that crooked little grin I loved so much.
_____“Yeah right. How sexy can I be at three in the AM after I done cried myself to sleep?” Uh-oh. Why did I say that?
_____“Cried yourself to sleep? She put her arms down.
_____“Did I say that? My bad. What I meant to say was ‘tried and tried to sleep’” I got on the bed and snuggled against her. She sat me up.
_____“Asha don’t play with me. I know what you said and I know what you meant. We been together too long so stop tryna bullshit me aiigh.”
_____“Yeah Tay, I said I cried myself to sleep. I do that sometimes. Its nothing.”
_____“What was the nothing about?”
_____“You and Ms. Tifa. It hurt Taylor…a lot.” I looked away from her. She turned my head back to hers.
_____“Asha, I never meant to hurt you and I didn’t know she was on that other until that happened. She ain’t mean shit to me. Never did. We were supposed to be just friends and that’s it.”
_____“Tay I know that now, but then it was different. The thought of you with any other girl just kills me. But look it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re back where you belong even if it is just for tonight.”
_____“I want it for more than just tonight Asha. We’ve been apart for too long and its killing us both. I want you back with me. I wanna come back home.” She looked at me with those pleading eyes. I took her face in my hands and kissed her. As we kissed deeper and deeper I began to cry. Tay lay me down and turned off the TV. She kissed away my tears. She kissed my eyes, my lips, and my neck before she started to unbutton my sleep shirt. It was my favorite flannel sleep shirt. One of Tay’s old flannel shirts. Once all the buttons were undone Tay opened the shirt and leaned back to look at me. At first she was staring at me like I was some foreign creature. She looked puzzled. I was beginning to feel a bit disturbed.
_____“What?” I asked. She stroked my face.
_____“I love you. I mean I really, really love you and it just hit me harder than it ever has before. I don’t even know what to say.”
_____“Then show me.” I closed my eyes and put my arms over my head making myself completely vulnerable. Tay removed her shirt and lay on top of me. She held my hands as she kissed me slowly and deeply letting her tongue make love to mine, and as I moaned into hr mouth she squeezed my hands. So many thought racing through my head, so many feelings flooding my body. I felt her. I felt her like I’ve never felt her before and I was falling in love all over again. Falling hard and fast. How could this be when I never fell out of love? No. I wasn’t falling. The feelings were resurfacing. All the feelings I forced down into the depths of my soul were presenting themselves once again and I wasn’t trying to fight them. My ex. My heart.
_____I was lost in myself for what seemed an eternity but Tay didn’t notice. My mind was on me but my body was so in tuned to her that it didn’t miss one beat. By this time she had released my hands, which were still above my head tied by invisible ropes, and she was sucking my neck. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to run my fingers through her braids but I knew the rules. I was tied up and my invisible binds weren’t to become undone until Tay undid them. This was becoming harder to do because she was now circling her tongue around my nipples. I felt my thighs become wet and I moaned a little deeper. She took as much of my left “C” into her mouth as she could and began to suck harder while her tongue continued to play with my nipple. Her left hand found its way to my right “C” and placed its thumb and pointer finger around my nipple and squeezed. My pussy was throbbing and I could’ve cum just from that and she knew it. She spread my thighs apart with her leg and moved between them with ease. She was taking her time and it was driving me crazy. From my breasts she made her way to my stomach to tongue-kiss my navel. She massaged my breasts as her tongue threatened to enter my stomach. I knew she felt my wetness glide across her stomach as she moved. I wanted to just push her head between my legs and force-feed her my pussy but I was still bound by the invisible ropes. I was so on fire I was beginning to sweat.
_____“I know what you want Babygirl and Imma give it to you. Just hold on.” She said looking up from my stomach. She gave my nipples one last squeeze before coming lips to lips with my pulsating, dripping pussy. As the tip of her tongue touched my hardened clit it took everything in me not to scream out loud and cum all over her lips and chin. She slid her tongue up and down my pussy from clit to hole at least a dozen times bringing me closer and closer to the edge with each lick until finally she plunged her tongue deep inside me almost sending me over. As she continued fukking me with her tongue she reached up to my hands to remove the phantom binds. I felt so free. Now I was able to caress her face, run my hands over her head and pull her braids, and I could finally cum. Immediately I went for her hair. I twirled her braids around my fingers and eventually spun them so tight I thought she may have Shirley Temple curls by the time our episode was done. She grabbed my ass and raised it up so she could fukk me deeper. I couldn’t stand to hold the feeling in much longer. The pressure was building up too much, too fast. I was about to explode. I grabbed the back of her head and forced her deeper into my pussy as I ground my wetness all over her face. I was moaning uncontrollably now, pussy throbbing fiercely threatening to drown Tay in all its juices. She tapped her ear. I knew what that meant. I obeyed.
_____“TAY!” I screamed.
She worked me more diligently. If I didn’t know better I would’ve thought she had a hundred tongues the way she was all over my pussy at what seemed to be all at one time. She tapped her ear again a little harder this time.
_____“TAY!!” I screamed her name louder.
I felt her smile. She tapped her ear one more time a little harder than the last and motioned with her finger for me to cum. This was the signal I had been waiting on for what seemed like forever. I didn’t have to hold back any longer.
_____“TAYLOR!!!” I screamed out as I held her head in place. “Baby…I’m about to cum…Papi…keep it…right…there…UHHHHH…Oh fukk…TAY!!!”
It felt like a gallon of juice came gushing out of me and I was spent. I pushed her head away and let my body finish shaking. She wiped her face and spread my cum across her stomach before coming to hold me. I couldn’t even move. She turned my lifeless body toward her and held me close.
_____“Asha I love you more than anything in this world. I wanna come back home.”
_____“You never left.” I whispered. “Your body was gone but you were always here.”
_____“I want everything here. Asha I know we both did some shit but I also know we love each other too much not to get past it and get our shit together. If you’re willing to take me back we can do this.”
_____“I can’t take you back Tay…I never let you go in the first place.”
_____“Baby I love you. I’ll be right back.” She kissed my forehead and jumped up.
_____“Where are you going? I asked sitting up.
_____“To get my bags from the car.”
_____“You cocky ass nigga. What made you think I was gonna take you back?” I asked laughing.
_____“’Cuz I never left. I’ll be right back.”
_____She bolted out of the room before I could say another word and by the end of the next week Tay had moved all her stuff back in where it had been before she left. We’ve been back together for about a year now and it hasn’t been easy but we’re working on it. I love Tay too much to be without her and she can’t get enough of me either.

The End

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