KUMA: ANOTHER CHANCE AT LOVE by C A Lindsey

by
C A Lindsey

_____"No baby Don't leave me!" I remembered crying out loud, while looking into the piercing eyes of my soon destined ex-lover. Crystal and I, had known the "fire" in our relationship had been dwindling, over a period of the last four months. However, before finding out the real truth she'd associated the loss, as a result of not spending enough time together.
_____ "I've got to leave you you're not the person I use to know or love." With those words Crystal, walked out of my life. The undeniable pain I felt that night, I'll never be able to express. I'd gotten use to the way she spoke, laughed and yes even the way she cried. God knows I'd given her plenty to cry about.
_____We'd met at an all night restaurant one late evening, three years ago. While sipping on a hot cup of herbal tea, Crystal sat alone at a booth reading a book. I was there with my hangin' partner LaShonda laughing and cutting up, as we often did together Bragging about our latest conquests and who could get laid with the finest bitch of all times. LaShonda glanced in the direction of Crystal and stated, "Cori, I'll make a bet with you" pulling out her pants pocket a new crisp One Hundred Dollar bill. "You see that chick sitting over there?" "Go over and throw some rap on her and if you get a date with Ms femme over there this money is yours"
_____"Oh yeah and what are you gonna do, to match this bet?" I replied, pulling out of my wallet five twenty dollar bills. LaShonda slyly grinned and stated, "I'm gonna show you how smooth I operate I bet I'll get with her, when she turns you down."
_____ "Kewl lets go for it", I said. The thought entered into my head what if this Sistah hated dykes. I did happen to notice she appeared deeply focused and concentrated in a book, written by one of my favorite Erotica author's Kathleen E. Morris. So I decided to try my luck with her.
_____"Hey how are you?" I started out with that line. "My name is Cori, I just couldn't help but to notice you sitting all alone" Actually, that was the truth Crystal, was dayum good lookin' not exactly sexy, like I'm usually drawn to Yet she possessed a sensuality, that just screamed out. We both started talking and I soon found myself sitting down at Crystal's booth. In deep discussion first over the book she was reading and then learning more about her with each passing minute.
_____I hadn't noticed anyone but her, until LaShonda walked over with a huge smile on her face and handed me the folded One hundred-dollar bill and stated, "Cori I'll call you in the morning." Crystal and I remained in the restaurant engrossed in conversation for hours that night. I told her how stimulating I found her to be and that I'd like to continue the conversation perhaps at my place, where we could be more comfortable. I recall the exact words Crystal told me that night "Cori, so you think I'm a lesbian, well you're wrong because I'm not. I've never been with another female and have no intentions or desires to be with one. Is that the reason you came over here was it to see if you could get with me tonight?"
_____Fuck you is what I wanted to blurt out. Knowing I had to make my exit at that precise moment. I refrained from saying those two words. Instead, I hid my disappointment within. While smiling at her I calmly replied, "Crystal it was nice meeting you You take care." I left the restaurant and headed for home. While driving; I remember grinning and thinking to myself, at least I got some extra "loot" and LaShonda, will never know in all actuality, I'd lost that bet.

_____Five months had passed since that night at the restaurant. I'd long forgotten about Crystal and was doing my "thang," hanging out at the Clubs, partying and occasional weekend get away "flings," with womyn I'd mostly met online in the lesbian chat rooms. One night while online in a Black lesbian chat room, after having cyber sexed several womyn; I noticed a screen a name I hadn't recognized, someone by the name of "secret." Secret, didn't converse openly. I thought, perhaps she was in private chat. I waited ten minutes while writing shit openly, to my other online friends. I decided to send a private message to this "Secret" person and find out what was her secret.
_____ That night I found the unexpected. A decent real conversationalist someone who wanted to "chat" about what was going on in the world, my feelings, her feelings and yes Secret's secret, which was to be with another female for the first time. This is crazy. I remembered thinking everyone knew in chat rooms, lies and deception was the game. Somehow that night I was open and honest typing my life into words displaying me, to a complete stranger. The night had passed quickly into the early morning. It was around two-thirty when we both realized we had to go to work later that same morning; so we said Good-bye and promised to meet later that night in the same chat room at eight.
_____ I called LaShonda, on my lunch break later that day, to talk about the special person I'd met online. LaShonda's response was as always another bet, this time that she could get "Secret's" phone number and prove this womyn was just playing the chat room game with me. LaShonda popped up on screen that night around nine. Dayum I thought, as LaShonda sent a private message to me that she was going by the name of "LaLa" and was about to "whisper" to my Secret. Interrupting the flow of our conversation, I typed LaShonda back and told her to do her best. I didn't think Secret would fall for any of her bullshit. I'd felt confident that indeed, Secret was real. Just as I had thought Secret rejected LaShonda's advances and told her to get lost. She told me that a LaLa was trying to come on to her and that she was totally satisfied with her present conversation alone with me.
_____I'd asked Secret for her phone number. She hesitated before responding back. Secret, typed that she wanted to know me better and felt writing was the most pure form of communication, whereas inhibitions didn't exist. We went on meeting each other in the room daily for over a month. She never told me her real name or her address other than her email. I was falling in love, daily with this faceless womyn. Each morning I'd jump out of bed and turn on my PC looking for email from her. She never let me down. There was always something in my "inbox" starting my day out with words of kindness and thoughtful gestures.
_____I could no longer stand not seeing her not touching this womyn not hearing her voice. I was lost in a world of fantasy concentration was centered on words written. I'd never felt love before. I'd always prided myself in being a "playa" but now I wanted to be Secrets first and only lover. I didn't even give a damn if she was fucked-up lookin'. Our online relationship had surpassed all superficiality, leaving such an impact on me. For once I saw into someone's heart without judging their outside.
_____Valentines Day was in two weeks and I'd emailed Secret asking for a first time "in person" date with her. I'd sent the mail out just before going to bed. In hope of a response the next morning but there was no message from her. Later that night as routine, I'd gone into the chat room. Waiting in front of my monitor staring for hours, but Secret's name never appeared on screen. Something had to be wrong I thought shutting down my PC for the night. The next morning I checked for incoming mail. However, no word from her. I consecutively sent email daily for the following three weeks, without any response at all. At that point, I'd decided to just give up on Secret.

_____Spring was in the air and the newness of the Season was present. Although it still remained brisk and chilly outside, I had a feeling of rejuvenated independence. LaShonda and I started hangin' even tighter. We still had the competitive rival spirit between us; trying to see who could hook-up with the most womyn. I spent less time online in chat rooms after the drama I'd experienced with Secret. She too became a forgotten person to me at least that's what I tried to convince myself and did do a damn good job of believing it at least on the surface. All awhile inside my head, I missed her like hell. Dayum I thought, is that what love is all about? Fuckin' up a person's mind? If so, it wasn't for me.
_____At home one day after work while cooking my dinner, my doorbell rang. Thinking it was LaShonda, I called out loud "It's open come on in." I then peeked around the corner after not hearing the familiar voice of LaShonda. In my living room there she was that same womyn I'd spoken to in the restaurant months long ago. I tried to think quickly, trying to remember her name and then I asked, "What are you doing here and what do you want?"
_____She then stated, "Hi Cori I've missed you. I tried to deny how you made me feel online all the conversations we shared, only increased my desire to gather up nerve and finally come over here."
_____With my mouth wide opened, I yelled out with excitement, "Secret! You mean to tell me you're Secret from the chat room?"
_____ "Yes, but my real name is Crystal, remember?"
_____Yes I'd remembered exactly who she was. "So what's up and how did you find me?" I replied as nonchalant as I could. Trying to regain my composure; yet all awhile all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and kiss her beautiful luscious lips. I suppose she read my mind because she approached me first, kissing and stroking my body all over with her softness.
_____Crystal stopped her actions, yet still her arms remained securely embraced around my waist. She then looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Cori sometimes a person willingly surrenders, and finally accepts and I'm here today surrendering myself to you. Make love to me."
_____That evening I made love to Crystal I remembered the excitement we both felt and even her nervousness while I undressed her kissing her bronze smooth skin, starting from her head straight to the tip of her toes. As she laid on my bed looking like a pure Goddess to me. Oh how I remember how her body responded when I placed my mouth around her sensuous breast taking turns, sucking each harden nipple and when I touched her erogenous area with the tips of my two fingers inserted into her like a master. I massaged and gently caressed what my tongue hungered to taste. Crystal vocalized her pleasure with each movement of my fingers inside of her wet pussy. I was determined to satisfy her.
_____Knowing this was Crystal's first time; I had to make her feel real good. With my tongue, I slowly teased my way around inside of her wet pulsating pussy. Finding her hot spot and noting all of her body language with each probe of my tongue. I knew it was just a matter of time before she could no longer take anymore. Crystal's hips gyrated with each penetrating lick of my tongue. "I'm cummin Oh, baby. Baby Oooh Oh Oh, Cori!" Crystal screamed out loud, as the volcanic eruption of her womanhood released itself, exploding her orgasm. My appetite had been completely satisfied, as I ingested her flowing lava into my mouth. Crystal spent that night with me and soon moved in permanently.
_____The first six months living together were the hardest. It was difficult in the beginning, getting use to another person's habits and ways. Like the way she squeezed the toothpaste and shit like that. However, we overcame the petty stuff. I loved Crystal and she loved me. She showed her love constantly. I promised her I wouldn't do anything to hurt her.

_____ LaShonda appeared jealous of the relationship Crystal and I shared. I'd figured only because it took time away from our hangin' out days. I'd decided one night to go to the Club with LaShonda. Crystal was away for the weekend visiting her family miles away. I was lonely, I thought to myself seeking justification at the thought of fooling around. Crystal will never find out. It was just like old times the same crowd I'd not seen in almost a year.
_____As LaShonda and I entered into the Club the "Bootie Shake" contest was going on. Only the finest ass was allowed on stage, for this contest. My favorite dancer Kiki, won the contest and after a bottle of beer and some seductive talk from me, as a added bonus she had me for the night. It was all pleasing what Kiki, did to me that night at her apartment. Crystal came home the next evening. I'd picked her up from the Airport; at first I couldn't help but feel pangs of fuckin' guilt in the pit of my stomach. However, I never let on what had transpired the night before. All I knew was . I loved Crystal.
_____Crystal eventually found out about that night; when told by one of her girlfriend's how she saw me at the Club leaving with Kiki. Knowing I'd gone to the Club that night with LaShonda. Crystal cried all night long, while I denied ever going home with the dancer. I'd insisted I was home early that night and claimed the Cat must have knocked the telephone off the hook, when she tried calling. Knowing I had purposely taken the phone off the receiver prior to going to the Club that night.
_____Then there was the time I told Crystal I had to go away for the weekend. I said my Grandmother was gravely ill and I didn't think her going along with me, would be such a good idea since my Grandmother was in the hospital. It would mean a lot of back and forth visits to the hospital. I'd forgotten the Obituary I kept in my photo album of Grandma's death, three years ago. Dayum! Was I ever busted on that one not to mention followed to the place where I really spent the weekend. Crystal threatened to leave me for good if I didn't straighten up my act and stop runnin' on her. Straighten up indeed was equivalent to me being even more discreet.
_____Crystal had finally had enough of my cheating ways and left our apartment for good, taking with her my heart. I hadn't realized how much I depended on her daily presence in my life and now that I was alone all I did was cry like a baby. I was determined to win my womyn back I kept trying to convince myself somehow; someday, she'd come back to me. It took almost a year of constant telephone calls to her job, flowers sent and constantly going over to her new apartment, only to hear the same bitter words of rejection. LaShonda even sensed my true pain and became a consoling friend to me. A month had gone by since I'd last tried talking to Crystal. I'd decided to cease all efforts for awhile and try to get my head together.
_____One Friday, while still at work I received a telephone call from LaShonda in a rushed voice she said, "Hey Cori, meet me at the restaurant on 33rd Easton Ave., at six-thirty you know the one, we use to go to all the time. I've got something to give you." Before I had a chance to answer LaShonda she immediately hung the phone up. I arrived at the restaurant on time still perplexed, over what the hell she was even talking about. Giving me what? I again thought.
_____LaShonda was sitting in a side booth at the restaurant. I walked over and greeted her, while still wondering. I sat down. LaShonda then stated, "I have a surprise for you. Don't sweat it, you'll love what all I've arranged. In fact Cori, turn around your present is here." It was my Crystal, looking absolutely vivacious standing behind me and smiling. I completely lost control of my emotions and jumped to my feet. Grabbing her not caring we were in public. I initiated a deep passionate love starved kiss, for what seemed an endless time. With her tongue Crystal reciprocated my affections. We both didn't give a damn, whosoever witnessed our act of love. All I knew at that exact place, moment and time; I had another chance with Crystal and another chance at love.