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ASK First

(Always Seek Knowledge First)

Part One: General Information

Goals / Aspirations

  1. What are your priorities right now? How do you rank career, love life, school, friends etc. in your life?
  2. Are you where you want to be in your life? If not, what's your plan to get there?
  3. What is your definition of success?


  1. Do you judge a person by her family?
  2. What is your relationship like with your family? Do you have a working relationship with your parents?
  3. How open are you to family and friends?

Conflict & Communication

  1. How do you handle frustrating situations?
  2. Do you have problems making decisions?
  3. Do you get angry often? How do you handle anger?
  4. How do you approach problems? Are you able to communicate your problems verbally?


  1. How do you feel about current political issues? Which ones are the important to you and why?
  2. In general, where are you on the political spectrum?
  3. How politically active are you? Do you vote? Go to rallies/protests? Volunteer for a politician/organization?

Sexual Orientation / Comfort Level

  1. How do you self-identify in terms of your sexual orientation? Are you completely comfortable with your sexuality?
  2. How important is being out to you?
  3. Are you out to your family? If not, why haven't you told them?
  4. What did you find most difficult about coming out to yourself? To other people?
  5. How do you handle situations where it may be detrimental to come out?
  6. How do you feel about public displays of affection?


  1. Do you believe in a higher being?
  2. Are you affiliated with a particular religion?
  3. Do you believe other paths to religious enlightenment or salvation are valid?
  4. Is there a conflict between your beliefs and your sexual orientation?


  1. How do you feel about drugs/alcohol?
  2. Are you in recovery?
  3. Do you believe in recreational drug use? Why or Why not?


  1. What kind of things are you interested in? What do you do to have fun?
  2. What's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to you?
  3. What's the last book you've read?
  4. Do you have friendships across ethnic lines?
  5. Do you believe in telling the truth, even if it might hurt someone's feelings?
  6. What are your bad habits?
  7. How far does your sense of humor go?


  1. Are you financially independent?
  2. How important is money to you in general?
  3. Do you appreciate the simple things in life?
  4. Do you understand how to build wealth?
  5. Do you have bad credit?

Personal Growth

  1. Describe one experience that helped shape you into the person that you are.

Part Two: Relationships


  1. Are you ready to get into a relationship?
  2. What qualities do you look for in a girlfriend?
  3. What do you expect of your partner in a relationship? Are you willing to give what you expect?
  4. How important are labels/roles in a relationship?
  5. If you have never been with a woman before, what do you expect out of a lesbian relationship?
  6. What are your deal breakers (major turnoffs) in a relationship?
  7. Describe a great first date.
  8. What do you consider a romantic? Sexy?

Relationship Style

  1. Do you feel it is ok to date more than one person at a time?
  2. Do you believe in monogamy? Polyamory? A different relationship model altogether?
  3. Are you the dating type or do you like to snag a girl and head for the altar right away?
  4. What would it take to make a long-distance relationship work?
  5. What's more important as far as time spent together, quality or quantity? Explain.

Physical / External

  1. What type of woman do you like? Describe her physically.
  2. How important are looks to you? How important is personality?
  3. What do you find is the most attractive part of the female body? Why?
  4. What is your ideal age range?
  5. Do you have any educational qualifications?


  1. Do you believe in soulmates?
  2. How would you define a loving relationship?
  3. Do you find it easy to say, "I love you"? What if you are not in love?
  4. What would it take for you to leave someone you loved?
  5. Is love at first sight possible? First conversation?

Sex & Intimacys

  1. How important is pleasing/satisfying your lover?
  2. Is sexual compatibility with your partner important? Why or Why not?
  3. Do you like to experiment with sex?
  4. When it comes to sex are there things that you just won't do?
  5. After you first meet a woman, what's an acceptable time frame for the first sexual encounter?
  6. How do you show affection? How affectionate are you in public towards your partner?
  7. If any, how many men have you slept with?
  8. Do you practice safe sex? With Women? With Men?
  9. When was the last time you had an AIDS test?
  10. How many sexual partners have you had?


  1. How do you handle jealousy?
  2. Do you feel threatened if your woman's has other attractive female friends? Male friends?
  3. Do you think trust should be given or earned? Why?
  4. If we were to become a couple would you expect me to stop doing the things I did before we met?
  5. How important is maintaining your own identity in a relationship?

Past Relationships

  1. Are you still friends with your exes? How involved are you in their lives?
  2. What is your definition of a long term relationship- 3 months, 3 years?? How many long term relationships have you been in?
  3. What is the longest relationship you've had?
  4. Have you ever been in love? Do you think you will find love (again)?
  5. What do you think has gone wrong with your past relationships?
  6. Have you ever cheated while in a relationship? Why?
  7. What type of baggage are you carrying from other relationships?


  1. How do you feel about children? Do you see yourself being a mom/maternal figure?

Conflicts & Communication

  1. How do you handle differences/disagreements in your partner? Are you able to compromise?
  2. How do you interact with your partner/girlfriend, when you are upset about something outside of your relationship? Do you take it out on her verbally?
  3. If you are angry at your partner/girlfriend, how do you approach her?
  4. Would you tell your partner if you had a sexual experience outside of the relationship?


  1. In a relationship, does it matter who makes the most money?
  2. We have all weekend and no money--what would we do?


  1. Have you ever been abused (physically, sexually, verbally)? If yes, did you ever talk to someone about it (a counselor/therapist/etc)? Do you know how the abuse affected you or your relationships?
  2. Have you ever abused someone (physically, sexually, verbally)? If yes, have you sought help/treatment?
  3. Have you ever stalked someone? Has anyone ever gotten a restraining order against you?
  4. Have you ever been arrested and/or convicted of a violent crime?

Finally . . .

  1. Were you 100% truthful on this questionnaire?
  2. What questions do you have for me?

ASK First as pdf

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