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Angela R. Harvey

I am everything my girl wants me to be. I gave up my bad friends, my bad habits --- now Im unhappy. Every time I get into a relationship, it seems like Im the only one who gives things up. Help! Im tired of compromising.

First of all, I say never get tired of compromising. A good relationship requires a lot of that. Secondly, what you are doing and have been doing is not called compromising.

The first thing I noticed is that you admit it was your girl that wanted you to change. Anything you do for someone else that isnt felt by you will be done in vain and with resentment. It seems that SHE thought that some of your friends and habits were bad thus you got rid of them. That is called change but not compromise. And change without the buy in of the person doing the change is called stupid.

When you decide to change areas of your life, it must be your decision. This is why you are unhappy; you are carrying out orders that you had not part in the decision making. We are all unhappy when we do this. You become even more distraught when you realize you actually carried out the order.

Compromise is when two people examine an issue and both do some changing of thought or otherwise. That is compromise. Take another look at yourself and make some changes for YOU.


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