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Angela R. Harvey

I try to talk to my girl, but she never listens to me. I know the butch is supposed to be strong, etc--but I need some support too. How can I get her to hear me?

You mention a few things I canít let just slide, so before I answer your question I need to say some other things. There is no such rule that states that a butch as oppose to a femme is to be stronger than any other person. You are simply just supposed to be. Keep in mind that you limit yourself when you put barriers and obstacles in front on yourself.

It also isnít written anywhere (except in the manuals of misinformed lesbians around the world) that butch women donít need support emotional and otherwise from their mates. If you have these thoughts in your head it is probable that you have given off these clues to those around you including your girlfriend and they ignore you thinking you will be strong and not need to be heard (your thoughts, not mine).

Now to answer your question you will need to inform your girlfriend that you do need to be heard, you do need support and you arenít the super woman. Iím willing to bet this might come as a surprise to her. We do piss poor jobs at communicating our thoughts, feelings and beliefs to those close to us especially our partners--believing that we are so connected (because we are both women and in love with one another) that there is not need to say it. Say to your girl friend:
I am a strong but I do want your support, I am strong but I need you to communicate with me and to hear me, I am strong but I want you to see me for who I am.
Then tell her the many things Iím willing to bet she doesnít know about you.

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