"What are you?"
by
InsatiableK
This fine woman came up to me in the library and said, “Can I ask you a question?”
"Sure sweetheart, fire away."
“Are you a tomboy or a lesbian?”
I smiled and said, “Depends on what day it is. I am both. Are you?”
“No but I was just curious,” she said before she walked away.

That experience made me wonder what they think of me as I walk past. Smooth swagger, cap on backwards, roomy khaki pants, boyish shirt and a roomy jacket that conceals my breasts. I see them stare and whisper to their consorts, “Is that a woman, and if so what is she doing?”

Don’t they know that I’m proud to be who I am and I wear it everyday. I sing it silently and sometimes aloud, “I’m a lesbian, African American Indian and I’m proud.” Sometimes my woman is at my side and oh the pride in my eyes as I watch her glide past and watch the sway of her ass saying to myself, “That’s mine.” I know that they sit and stare amazed at how beautiful she is although she is with me and not a man. Normal life is for those who want rules and listless passion, me I want a real, authentic passionate love, one that will last for a lifetime.

I didn’t ask to be gay, I don’t know anyone who has, well I take that back I had a girl to ask me to make her gay once, as if I could. Turn her out, yes but not turn her gay. It’s been a struggle being me. I notice the stares and the side glances as I go about my business. Sometimes it bothers me and other times I put on a show. I wink or lick my lips as I walk by noting the sly grin or disdain on their faces. It hurts but then pain can be pleasure if it’s inflicted right. I enjoy a challenge but I won’t conform to their definition of normal. Hell I am normal and loving my woman is normal, comfortable and sweet to me. I enjoy being me it has it perks. The smell of she drives me crazy and her moans while I’m making love to her drive me insane and the neighbors batty.

So asking me to turn in my same gender-loving card is a no no. I could never be with a man, I don’t hate them or not like them. I applaud them when they do the right thing but I also warn them that to slip up is dangerous and not safe. For there’s always a “me” waiting in the wings.

I’m not your normal butch or stud, on the contrary I’m a beautiful Creole goddess when I decide to surprise the same people I walk by on a daily basis. Some don’t recognize me and some of them talk about me to me. That’s funny cause they don’t recognize me until I lick my lips and walk away. I’m sassy, bold, brash and shy depending on the place and the time but I’m a lesbian 24/7, 365 even on my “red” days.

Enough about me, tell me what it’s like being a heterosexual woman. I tried but I used men for sex which wasn’t nice but that’s what they were good for to me. I think in their own way they enjoyed the no strings attached clause. So that’s a brief picture of me, roomy khaki pants, boyish shirt and a roomy jacket that conceals my breasts, same gender-loving woman.

Copyright © 2002. Used with author's permission.


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