The Free Xone: Gender & Orientation

I was randomly page-hopping last night on a popular gay & lesbian community, and ran across a profile that beckoned me to take a closer look. What caught my eye? Simply put, they stated their gender as 'FTM'.

Seemingly we put ourselves and everyone else in categories....boxes if you will. With words like 'Femme', 'Stud', 'Butch', Stemme', 'Futch', and a variety of variations of the aforementioned terms using prefixes like 'soft' , 'stone' or 'aggressive'. On a broader scale, sexual orientation is classified with words like 'Lesbian', 'Bisexual', 'Gay', 'Queer', 'Straight'...and even 'Bi-Curious'. Beyond that, we also categorize by gender as well... and I hate to be the barer of 'bad' news, but it's not just 'Male' and 'Female' anymore. Added to the mix are FTM's (Female-to-Male) and MTF's (Male to Female).

It's funny, how we as a society are so afraid of what could happen in a gray area that we have to put a name or a title to everyone and everything to either maintain our comfort zone, or preserve someone else's. I too am guilty of labeling. Why? Because I like, what I like... Studs and FTM's. Yes you read it right, so no need to go back and re-read it. Does this make me bisexual? Hell No. Frankly, I find birth-born males utterly repulsive, and I believe that alone knocks me out of your 'box of Bisexuality'. And I won't sit in the 'Lesbian box' either.

But then that raises the question: "How do you identify?" In short, 'Queer Femme'.

queer [kweer]
1. strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different

"Queer theory emerges from gay/lesbian studies' attention to the social construction of categories of normative and deviant sexual behavior. But while gay/lesbian studies, as the name implies, focused largely on questions of homosexuality, queer theory expands its realm of investigation. Queer theory looks at, and studies, and has a political critique of, anything that falls into normative and deviant categories, particularly sexual activities and identities.

The word "queer", as it appears in the dictionary, has a primary meaning of "odd," "peculiar," "out of the ordinary." Queer theory concerns itself with any and all forms of sexuality that are "queer" in this sense--and then, by extension, with the normative behaviors and identities which define what is "queer" (by being their binary opposites). Thus queer theory expands the scope of its analysis to all kinds of behaviors, including those which are gender-bending as well as those which involve "queer" non-normative forms of sexuality. Queer theory insists that all sexual behaviors, all concepts linking sexual behaviors to sexual identities, and all categories of normative and deviant sexualities, are social constructs, sets of signifiers which create certain types of social meaning."

- Gayle Rubin, author of "Queer Theory"
My preferences walk all over the traditional theories of sexual orientation and gender. Reality is, I’ve known about my fondness of FTM’s for several years now…Hell I have even been in relationships with people who have identified as ‘FTM’…

Human interaction is clouded by bullshit predisposed theories of what is 'normal', 'socially acceptable', or 'morally correct'. Honestly, I think people place far too much emphasis on the thoughts and opinions of the outside world. If your significant other chose to gender bend or transition, what would you do? Would you walk away, or stay? Would your decision be influenced by your own beliefs, or by what society thinks?

Fuck biases and stereotypes... I am who I am, I love who I love, and I fuck who I fuck... And fuck anyone who has a problem with it. If this post offends you, or makes you uncomfortable, that means I'm doing something right...

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Copyright © 2007. Used with author's permission.

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