I write this poem for all the sistersí who have gone through searching for a special place or a special someone to fill the soul and release the heart. I grieved for the ones who didnít make it and celebrated the ones who did.
A Space Of My Own
The sadness that has filled me is overwhelming my soul.
I need to escape to leave this place.
Where will I go is all my mind can say when responding to this need I have to free my spirit from this confinement I call a heart.
The need to leave has flowed over from being drowned by, and the other anti-depressants; they have come both in pill form and in the form of two legs.
They try to take me to a place where I can be free but this is a trip I must take alone, I want to go to a place where I do not have to think or worry.
A place where I do not have to feel except to understand that my thoughts are my own.
My feelings are valid and they donít come from not taking my medicine.
Is it selfish to want to leave here even though the one I love more than life itself will be left behind? To leave the pain I experience everyday from just trying to live.
The pain that has come through and erases the love she tries to give.
From just trying to understand what this world wants from me.
Is it selfish want to leave the insanity of my mind that is driving me to the edge and beyond?
I have to go because I cannot breath in this room of a body that has been raped and ripped apart left to gather pieces of womanhood that remain inside of my frail and tattered womb.
But where could this place be.
I am accused of not listening when itís not that I donít want to listen but that I cannot hear.
I can not hear over the endless voices of my ancestors that gather in my soul chanting for me to come home.
They chant for me to leave this space and time to join them where the sun meets the horizon.
But where could this place be where I can exist with out limits of conformity, and expectations.
Where are the directions of my hearts destination, the place of my peace?
Where is beautiful?
Copyright © 2002
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