Mammy, Sapphire, Jezebel & Me
by
C. Carter
Fat, black, lesbian, gap tooth, sexual, loud, thick lipped, femme, big thighs, wide ass. When I look into the bathroom mirror I smile, and I wonder if other black womyn are doing the same. Black lesbians, appreciating their differences, and not holding onto the baggage of mammy, sapphire, and jezebel, three caricatures of black womynhood, created by a society that does not want us to survive.
From the moment you interact with America as a young black girl, you are constantly told who you should be and what you better do, because you don’t want to grow up and be like mammy, sapphire, and jezebel. (1) "Mammy” is a caricature portrayed as an obese, coarse, maternal figure. Although she had children, sometimes many, she was completely desexualized. How many times have you been told to watch what you eat, because if you don’t you will get fat and no longer be attractive or have a life? The image of the obese, maternal and completely desexualized black womyn with a handkerchief around her head, has haunted more beautiful plus size sistas than I care to count. And that image keeps many womyn locked inside a beauty myth of narrow noses, narrow waists, narrow thighs and butt and narrow minds.
I’m not dismissing womyn who strive to eat healthy, because there are a lot of health problems for black womyn that are related to what and the way we culturally eat and our exercise patterns. But when womyn monitor their diets and exercise because in the back of their minds is the fear of turning into a grinning mammy which will make them dateless and sexless, (because who would want to get down with mammy) it warps their sense of self-value. These womyn can cause deep harm to themselves, because their idea of healthy is interlocked with a damaging stereotype, and affects how they treat themselves and other people. As womyn, some of us go through periods of weight gain and weight loss, and depending on our environment and the circumstances in our lives, sometimes the way we cope is with food. But when we are take control of our health, and our coping techniques and build positive self-esteem, we can no longer feel threatened by a distorted picture of beauty.
“Sapphire” is a stereotype I constantly see at the heart of sexist attitudes and behaviors in the black community and the black lesbian community. (2) African-American women portrayed as Sapphires are seen as bitter, hostile, dangerous, and threatening to authority. As Sapphires, men can view violence as an option for punishment for the defiant behavior of the African-American women. (3) Sapphire is “dominating, and emasculating.” This stereotype reinforces the myth that to be a good black womyn, you must be submissive, obedient and heterosexual. Sapphire can also easily be linked to violence towards womyn, by people who insist that a womyn is being defiant by identifying as lesbian. Sexism can be defined as: a set of attitudes and behaviors towards people that judge or belittle them on the basis of their gender, or that perpetuate stereotypical assumptions about gender roles. I am deeply troubled by the sapphire stereotype, because she is used to accuse black womyn of stealing “power/authority” from men. It is also based on a belief that men are the only gender that can have “power” and womyn should submit to that power.
Sapphire also carries over into the lesbian community when we apply stereotypes to relationship roles, and decide who should have power and control in lesbian relationships. People make assumptions about which partner is in “charge” of the relationship and some assume the power dynamic of lesbian relationships depending on the partners visible gender expressions such as butch, femme, androgynous, hi-femme etc. For example, using the stereotype that a womyn who has a feminine expression is or should behave obedient and submissive to the other partner. Believing that certain gender expressions have more control than others, denies independence and power in feminine expressions and creates a ruling or batterer perception about non-feminine expression. These assumptions can also create standards and tests of how womyn who identify with these gender expressions are supposed to behave to be the real thing.
And finally we come to “Jezebel” the oversexed temptress, the loose womyn who walks and breathes seduction. The fact the black lesbians are exoticized is not new. Whether by heterosexuals, women, or men, just the simple mention of the word lesbian or women loving women is enough to conjure visions of Jezebel’s taboo sexuality dancing in one’s head. We also judge womyn as Jezebels in our own community. Womyn who just like to date, have open relationships, are polyamorus, are dancers, or are sex positive. What we do in the bedroom, (whenever we are in the bedroom) is not the sum of our lives and many of us have a wide range of feelings about sex and the concept of Jezebel. The stereotype can make you feel ashamed of what you do, want to do, or refuse to do, and what other womyn do in sexual encounters. The stereotype also creates a way to judge womyn by the way they dress or behave, because the stereotype tells us to believe that Jezebels are asking for trouble.
The struggle for black womyn to love themselves and to accept other women loving women without a lens tainted by stereotypes will be a life long battle for some women. The struggle for black lesbians to be acknowledged in our own communities of African descent may take a generation. Both are achievable as long as we recognize the affects of living in society that imposes false cultural beliefs on our community.
Being accepting of who you are as a black lesbian is necessary for sanity and survival in this world. The history other people writing and destroying the worth of black lesbians makes the task of feeling comfortable in your identity more difficult. I have no answers, and as I pass people on the street I’m sure a hundred assumptions are being made about me. Fat, black, lesbian, gap tooth, sexual, loud, thick lipped, femme, big thighs, wide ass, and I’m happy, powerful and sensual. The important lesson is to analyze how we think of ourselves, how we allow other people to treat us, and how we treat others. The caricatures of black womynhood that try to sabotage our concepts of beauty, power, and sexuality have to be given back to colonizers that created them.
1) Dr. David Pilgrim, Professor of Sociology, Ferris State University, Oct., 2000.
2 )Building Brides: A Column to Promote Cultural Competency, Marcie Robinson, LSW TAASA Training Specialist. Arte Sana healing through the arts. Copyright © Arte Sana 2001
3) http://www.cinepathos.com/myth%20of%20sapphire.htm
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