Broken Heart Mended
Once I gave my heart to this very special womyn. I told her that it was precious and would break if dropped. I told her to handle it with care. As time passed, this womyn got careless and was not taking care of my heart as she should have. Her focus was shifted to other people and things. One day, she was focusing elsewhere and got relaxed and her hands got weak and she dropped my heart shattering it. I was devastated and had to sweep the broken pieces in to a pile and take them away to put them back together again.
While putting the pieces together again, I noticed some pieces were bruised and others were scarred. A thought came to mind. ĎWhy donít I turn the old outside to the inside and put my heart back together with the smooth beautiful inside showing on the outside. This will allow the bruises and scars to heal and mend without being subjected to the outside elements.í I did this and put my heart back together and it was so pure and loving. I was able to love stronger, to forgive faster, to feel deeper and all the time the worn, battered and bruised parts that were on the outside before were slowly being reformed so that they would one day be as smooth and beautiful as the outside is now.
I went back to this womyn and was able to talk to her and get to know her all over again. I realized that she had done some mending also. There was an astonishing difference between the womyn of a few months ago and this womyn now. I realized that losing her was the best thing that I could have done and I realized with this new heart of mine that I still loved her and cared for her very much. It wasnít the kind of love that is superficial and only on the outside. It was a love pure and coming from the depth of this new heart of mine.
I realized that this womyn had done more for me than anyone had done in a very long time. She accidentally reformed me. This womyn figured that her actions had caused a difference in me, but she does not know the extent of the affect she had. When it seemed to me that she was doing harm, she was actually doing me much good.
I want to say to this womyn, THANK YOU from the bottom of this new heart of mine. You are a lifesaver. You gave me my life back without even knowing it. You gave me courage, hope, happiness, love and so much more and I will love you always. No matter where I am in life or whom Iím with, you have a permanent place in my heart and it has grown measurably over the last couple of weeks since I found you again.
Here I stand today, broken heart mended, hopefully starting something new with this womyn. I donít know what it will turn out to be (friendship, a loving relationship), but I will be here to see it through.
Copyright © 2003. Used with author's permission.
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