A Room Of My Own

From the corner of my mind
in a room all my own
i crouch, and shudder,
and listen to the staccato
rhythm of my teeth--
hoping you'll just pass on by
but as dreams would have it
this hope too dissolves
as mist against a rising sun,
for you come again.
your warm and dripping
hands stifle the cry rising
in my throat and the
sweat on my brow
freezes in place.
the stiffness of my limbs
cannot resist the pressure
of your knees, your weight
squeezing out all thoughts of escape
and i curse the moist
evidence of my body's betrayal
that you perceive as justification.
my confusion rising like bile
to cloud my perceptions
and make murky the boundaries
I knew of right and wrong.
flesh once so tender and free,
painfully yielding to your intrusion,
roaring rolling waves of flame shooting upwards,
burning rigid grooves and a jagged path.
tearing and piercing the quiet of my youth.
the silence broken now only by your heaving sighs
and grunts for me to go clean up.
no notice ever taken
of the shattered crystal pieces of sexuality,
no notice ever taken
of the scattered lessons of what was me,
no notice ever taken of the blood which rushes--
then trickles down my legs
pooling at my feet
as i stand and stare
shedding tears i've never known,
and retreat to the corner of my mind
into a room all

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