The Kymster

_____Angel: Goddess from up above.
_____We're a society very concerned with butts. We see them everyday on the subway, in music videos (mmmmmmmm, Beyonce!) and on the street. I can never, ever, ever, ever, ever get tired of checkin out the booty.
_____It was a typical Thursday night at Valentine's, a mixed bar for men, women and everything in between. I was having a beer with my friend, Janet. Janet is older and a lot friendlier than I. She is quick to talk to the pretty ladies when we go out; I'm shy. But then again, she is more talkative when she's high and drunk. Hey, aren't we all? We were doing our regular bullshitting around when we spotted the Goddess.
_____All we saw was the ass. This beauty was directly in front of us. She was about 5'5", with chocolate brown skin and a lengthy weave. She was thick in those lovely areas, with small breasts. But she didn't need boobs with an ass like hers! There are not enough words to describe her ass, so I'm not even gonna try. But I bet she could give J-Lo some serious competition. Mos Def comes closest with "ass so phat that you could see it from the front" but even that's not saying enough. I had never seen anything like her ass in my life, neither had my pal. Janet bet that she was a man; I bet that she had work done. We decided to find out who was right.
_____The Goddess was with a group of friends. She was fierce and her energy was electric. Everyone, and I mean everyone, males included, was trying to pick her up. Damn, I thought this was a gay bar! Janet and I scoped her for a while and when she went to the bar, we decided to approach. Her friends, that is. I had had a few drinks by then, so I was confident as could be. I started the conversation.
_____"Excuse me, can I ask you something? My name is Kara, how are you tonight?"
_____"I'm fine."
_____"What's your name?"
_____"Tonya," she smiled. Uh-oh, I hope she doesn't think I'm trying to pick her up or anything.
_____"Hi Tonya. This is my pal Janet," as I motioned to Janet behind me. "We were wondering about your friend that just left-"
_____Tonya rolled her eyes. "The one with the big ass?"
Maybe she was used to getting questions all the time about her friend and not her… Janet and I started laughing. We didn't expect her to be so direct, but it helped relax the both of us. Or me, at least. Janet, ever the patient lesbian, cut in the convo.
_____"Yeah, her. I been watchin her all night. What's up with her? Is she a man?"
_____This time, Tanya laughed. "No, baby, that's all natural."
_____"Are you sure?" I asked. "Her ass is too beautiful to be real."
_____"I'm her friend, I would know if it was real or not."
_____I was still skeptical. "I dunno about that. How long have you known her? Maybe she had work done before you met her or something like that…"
_____"Wait till she comes back and ask her yourself," Tonya replied. What a nice friend, I thought. She was a good sport throughout all our questioning, even though we never showed an ounce of interest in her.
_____I thought about stickin around, but I'm a coward, so I decided to forget about it. I dragged Janet back to the bar for more beer. As we made our way back from the bar, I felt a tug on my shirt from behind. It was the Goddess.
_____Her face was ok but she was much better looking from behind. She was looking right at me, but I didn't have anything to say. Thankfully, she had come over to talk to us.
_____"I heard you were asking about me." Goddammit nosy friend! She wasn't supposed to say anything to her…
_____"Umm, yeah, I guess I was." That's right, I was playin it real smooth.
_____She smiled. The lady had a beautiful smile and I'm a true sucker for a girl like that. "Well, its all real. Would you like to touch it?"
_____Gee, I wonder how many times she's said that before?
_____I politely declined, while Janet reached out for a grab. She rubbed for a while and then said, "Nice. What's your name?"
_____"Angel." Of course! What else could it have been?
_____"Hello, Angel. I'm Janet and this is my friend Kara. You've got a real nice ass, mama."
_____"Thank you."
_____Janet is usually a mack, but her choice of words made me laugh. So much for subtlety! Angel looked perplexed. "What's so funny?"
_____There was something about the way she looked at me that made me nervous. I still don't know what it is, to this day. But at the time, I must have looked stupid. "Uh, nothing. I just, um, uh-"
_____"Don't hurt yourself, sweetie. I just wanted you to know that it's all mine and I'll be over there if you want to talk. Ok?"
_____"Um, ok." I am such an idiot when I'm in front of a pretty lady, especially if she approaches me first. Luckily, I had Janet the Mack for help. She was smiling that familiar, fiendish 'I-can't-wait-to-hit-that' smile.
_____"Alright, mama. We'll see you a bit later. C'mon Kara, let's go," Janet said, dragging me away.
All I could muster up was, "Bye."
_____Janet looked at me when we sat at the table. I knew what was coming; we had the same conversation numerous times.
_____"Yo, man! Why are you such a punk? She was obviously flirting with you. What is your problem?"
_____"Janet, you know I have a girlfriend. Why are you trying to get me in trouble?"
_____"Blah blah blah blah with the girlfriend shit, Kara. Its not like your girl is here or anything. She's fuckin hundreds of miles away! And you got Angel right over there. Just look at that ass, man!"
_____I turned to look at Angel. She really did have a glow about her, no joke. Watching her dance was an experience: her hips swayed, her body rocked, I was urged to rock her body. Argh! The girlfriend. Isn't it always when you're attached to someone that some other broad wants to fuck you? Well, that's how it always is with me. How can I possibly resist all the temptation? WILL POWER!
_____"Look, Janet. She's fine and all but I have a good thing going and I don't wanna mess that up and I don't care how big her ass is… oh, but it's so nice…"
_____Janet laughed. "Look, you don't have to marry her and shit. Just go over there and talk to her. She wants you. I know these things, yo! If you don't go talk to her, then I will."
_____"No fuckin way! I saw her first—"
_____"Nah, bitch! I got here before you, so I saw her first. And even if you did, you don't have the balls to go and talk to her. Fuck this! I'm gonna go dance with her." Janet stood up from the table.
I wanted to grab Janet by the throat and strangle her. I would never try to talk to a broad that she was interested in. But that wasn't the extent of the differences between us. I had a girlfriend and Janet had the cojones. What could I do? "Fine. Go have fun, asshole."
_____"I will, thank you."
_____I watched as Janet made her way thru the dance floor to Angel. They began to dance together and I felt myself glowing with envy. That should be me out there! As I watched the two of them, Angel turned to face me. We held eye contact for a few seconds. Did she wink at me? For once, Janet might have been right. Angel does dig me! Should I dance with her?
_____Dancing isn't cheating, right? But what if I know I want more?
_____I got lost in my thoughts and forgot that I was watching them. Janet was tapping me on my shoulder.
_____"Yo, man. Hello, earth to Kara. You ok?"
_____"Yeah, I'm fine. I just hate you!" I laughed it off.
_____"Get over it, man! You should go dance with her if you're so jealous. She looks like she's waiting for you."
_____"I will dance with her."
_____"Right now!" I was almost drunk by then, I was ready. And just my playa luck, the music ended for the Drag Show. _____"Shit! Now I'm never gonna get to dance with her."
_____"Relax," Janet said. "You can talk to her right now. She's on her way over here."
_____The dance floor was clearing for the show. Angel was indeed headed towards us. Fuck, this girl is fine! I wanted to take her in the bathroom, throw her up against the wall and go for the gold at the end of her rainbow. But all of a sudden my mouth was dry. I could feel myself punkin out all over again. Angel was again right within my grasp. She looked at me and smiled that amazing smile.
_____"Can I sit here?" she asked.
_____"Sure, take my seat." I wasn't feeling shy at all. In fact, I wanted to give her an alternative place to sit, like my face, but I wasn't that bold. Yet.
_____"Thank you," Angel said. She took the stool and I stood directly behind her. Mmmm, she smelled like flowers! Janet nudged my arm and winked at me. I felt panicked all over again. Ok, calm down. There is a hot chick in front of you who has the most wicked ass you've ever seen. Relax! Act like you've been in this situation before… breathe.
_____The show ended and the music started again. The DJ played 'Baby Boy' by Beyonce and Sean Paul. Angel jumped off the stool and shouted, "This is my song! Come dance with me, sweetie."
_____My first reaction (I don't know why) was to say no. But before I could get out a sentence, Angel grabbed me and pulled me on the dance floor. She began to dance and I stood still. She moved closer and I put my hands on her, umm, waist area. I was sweating, even though I had yet to take a step. I needed to get out of that situation. Where's Janet when you need her??? I looked around, frantically seeking assistance. I managed to spot her and make eye contact. I motioned with my mouth 'Help Me'. Janet laughed but she came over to help anyway.
_____"Can I cut in?"
_____Angel began to dance with both of us, but I excused myself to go to the bathroom. What the fuck is wrong with me?!! Where is the cool, mild-mannered Kara that I'm used to? And how do I manage to turn into Boo Boo the Fool around pretty ladies? I splashed my face with cool water to wake up.
_____It was getting late. The time to put up or shut up had arrived. I knew that if I could gather my composure, I had the opportunity to leave with Angel. But then what? I have a girl, yet I'm feeling lonely. Angel is hot, single and probably not looking for anything too serious. Janet will probably get her if I don't try; what do I want to do?
_____I left the bathroom and went back to the table. The Goddess was still close by, dancing with her friends this time. I watched her movements… oh, what a wonderful ass! There was no way I was gonna let that slip away. I got up to talk to her.
_____"Hey Angel."
_____"Hey Kara. You gonna dance with me now?"
_____"So why do you look nervous?"
_____"I'm not nervous. Why do you say that?"
_____"Well, you look scared… and you've been running away from me all night."
_____She caught me off guard with her blunt personality. But she was a quick one. "No, I was just biding my time, till I could talk to you alone, that's all." Hope she buys that!
_____"Ummmhmm. What did you want to talk to me about?" She was being coy but I know she knew what was up.
_____"Well, umm, there's this after hours spot right down the road and I was wondering if, umm, maybe—" I started.
_____"You want me to go somewhere with you? I don't even know you!"
_____A less confident AG would have been shut down. She was dealing with a true Stud Pro, though. I don't take no for an answer… easily.
_____"How do you expect to get to know me, then?" Turn on the charm, Kara.
_____Angel began to laugh at me. "Hmm, lemme think. You freeze up like a Popsicle when I get close to you. You wouldn't even dance with me out there, God only knows why… I make you scared just when I look at you!" Angel took the time to get one long chuckle in before she continued. "What makes you so sure I want to get to know you?"
_____Damn, this bitch can be cold. I like that!
_____"Maybe its that twinkle in your eye when you look at me, Angel." I don't know where this came from, but I kept it flowing. "Or possibly your body language that shouts, 'Come and get me, Kara! I'll keep it warm for you.' It could also be because I'm extremely handsome and charming or maybe—"
_____"You're a real character, Kara."
_____"I know. So you coming or not?"
_____"Maybe," she said. One more smile came and I was hooked. With an ass like that, she'll get whatever she wants outta me! "I have to check with my friends first, cuz I drove us tonight. I'll be right back, sweetie." She walked away. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, she sure looked right in those jeans. Janet rushed over.
_____"Yo man, what happened? Why you look so happy?"
_____"We're gonna go to the Love Shack."
_____"Ah, you lucky bastard! I woulda taken her from you too, you lucky you finally made a move, punk. I can't go, though. I have to work in the morning."
_____"No! Janet, you have to come with me. What do I do with her?"
_____Janet looked at me like I was retarded. "Yo, man! Whatchu think you gonna do? Watch Animal Planet? You get her alone and then go for yours. I want all the details too!"
_____So, the stage was set. Angel decided to come with me, all by herself. I opened my passenger door, she slid inside and I shut the door. We drove away, not knowing that our night was just beginning…

The End

Copyright © 2004. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.

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