(Part 1)
Mahogany Lioness

Sup girl, how are you doing? Don’t look around I’m talking to you. I bet you’re wondering how I can automatically assume that my audience is totally female. I really can’t, but as the author of this story, I will say that while this story is strong enough for a man, it was made for a woman, by a woman.

With that being said, please allow me to present myself to some and introduce myself to others. My name is Mahogany, but my friends call me ‘Mah’. I’m a twenty-something-black female from the wild, Wild West, but I didn’t come here to talk about me. Well, not directly, anyway. I came to tell you about some crazy shyt that went down in my life a couple days ago. I think talking it over with a sistah or two like you, might help me get my mind together. You know, help me decide what to do.

It all began last Friday. I got up and it was just like Jill Scott said in that song. “Woke up this morning, with a smile on my face…” Well, maybe not a smile, but what the hell can you expect at 4am on a Friday morning that isn’t payday? Right, thought you’d see it my way.

All right, now, so I, “Made me some breakfast… Toast, two scrambled eggs. Grits…” Okay, so it was more like cold Kentucky fried Pterodactyl… (For those of you that slept through that class, a Pterodactyl is a prehistoric bird. A really big ass one at that!) Uhh, I mean chicken, (But you have to admit, KFC has some really big pieces of chicken… Have you ever seen a chicken with a DD- Cup Breast? Think about it!), and cherry kool-aide from last night.

After that I did, “Grab my keys, grab my purse, grab my jacket off to work. Beaming all the way down to 32nd St.…” Pardon my singing, ya’ll. After stopping at Starbucks and shelling out big bucks for my undersized, over priced double mocha frappachino, I got to work with 15 minutes to spare, as usual.

When I got to my office, before I even got to my desk, I could see the top of Saun’s meticulously cornrowed head peaking over the top of our pod. As I rounded the corner, there she was, bobbing her head back and forth to some CD she burned off of the Internet the night before.

Saun, short for Cassaundra, is not only my coworker, she’s my best friend in the world. We met in our new hire training class a couple years ago and developed a friendship right off the bat. We have so much in common. From our college major in E-Business, to the types of music we like, we were like two peas in a pod, and it’s a good thing two. Budget cuts forced us to work shoulder to shoulder at one desk. Anyone else would’ve had four ass whoopin’s by now, but she and I work well together.

Work is really the only time we get to hang out. Saun’s ‘lifestyle’ doesn’t afford her the opportunity to spend time with females that aren’t ‘in the life’, as she would put it. Translation? Her girlfriend is a jealous bitch that can’t stand Saun to be around any other woman other than herself or other hard core studs.

She acts like Saun is a pet on a leash. When Saun wanders too far way, the bitch damn near breaks her neck off jerking her back by her side. I don’t even know why she trips about me. Hell, like Frankie told Cleo in “Set it off”, “I’m strictly dickly!” Never once has our relationship crossed the line. Saun let me know about her lifestyle from the start, although it was hard not to see it. From her ‘Alan Iverson’ cornrows and ‘Kenneth Cole’ Shoes, to the slacks, dress shirts, and the ties in-between, it was clear that Saun was a stud from the rooter to the tooter. A handsome one at that, but if anyone asks, you didn’t hear that from me!

I came in and began to get situated. Saun flashed me a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and I instantly knew something was up. She went back to doing whatever she was doing and I put my hand on her shoulder letting her know non-verbally that silence wasn’t going to cut it. She stopped typing but didn’t look me in the eye. “It’s officially over between Yazmeen and I.” She explained. I sat down on the desk and turned her face towards me. Looking her in the eye I asked, “For real this time or are ya’ll just saying that to be saying something?”

“Naw,” Saun sighed. “She came and got the rest of her shyt late last night. She’s gone for good.” They had been on again off again so many times, I found it hard to believe she was down about loosing a bitch like Yazmeen. “Are you bent out of shape over it or what?” I asked. Saun laughed, “Hey you win some and you loose some. Besides, you know the rule.” We looked at each other and recited simultaneously, “We don’t luv dem hoes!” and erupted with laughter.

“But naw, tonight my homegirl Ty is opening her new club and I can’t go unescorted.” Saun sighed. “What? Saun Stephens’ with no date? Must be Armageddon!” I giggled. “Naw, Serious,” said Saun. “Yazz tripped so much for so long she pushed all my friends away. Relationships are like plants. You gotta nurture them to keep them healthy."

“I was on lockdown, and now that I’m free, I realize that I left my friends out to dry.” Saun took my hands in hers. “Even you, ‘Mah’. We haven’t been to a movie or out to dinner in months, and I’m sorry.” I covered her hand with mine. “If anyone understands, I do, but I appreciate your apology. I smiled.

Even with all that being said, it didn’t explain the long face. I sat down, logged into my computer, crossed my legs, folded my arms, and leaned back in my chair expectantly. “No one should know me this damn well, “ Saun sighed before launching into an explanation. Apparently Ty wanted Saun to come down to the club that night because she had an announcement that she wanted all her friends to hear. She’d been keeping news of her latest love interest a secret, and apparently it was pretty serious.

Ty called up all of ‘da homies’ and urged them all to be there at least by 10:30pm. The announcement would be made at that time and then they could celebrate together. “I think Ty invited Yazz and the punk she’s been creeping with.” She explained. “So you see no matter what I don’t wanna show up solo, and look stupid while someone who has only been my ex for 24 hours prances around with whomever she left me for right in my face.”

“Damn,” I thought to myself. At this point I smelled a rat, but I couldn’t put my finger on it so I didn’t say anything.” That was my first mistake. While I understood her dilemma, it sounded a bit childish to me and I didn’t know what I could do to help her out. “What are your plans for the evening?” Saun inquired. “Me?” I asked without looking up from my work.

“You know that guy I met online last week? We’re going on a ‘cyber-date’.” Saun cracked up. “Oooh, a ‘cyber-date’, huh?” she snickered. “What’s he gonna do? Email you some dick?” I wasn’t amused at all. “Very funny Saun,” I frowned, “I always said you should take that clown show on the road you know.” Saun threw her arms around my shoulders and gave me a quick squeeze. “I’m only playing with you Mah, you know that!”

“Why don’t you email your friend and tell him you’re gonna kick it with me tonight?” “Aww naw!” I exclaimed. “You can’t get anyone else to go with you so you make me your last resort? I don’t think so.” “Naw ‘Mah’, it ain’t even like that. I didn’t even ask anyone else. I only found out last night and I thought of you first.” She explained. “Why me?” I asked. “Why not you?” Saun rebutted. “Come on, it will be like old times when we used to kick it, just me and you.” She was right.
There was a time when she and I would just hang out and go to dinner and a movie, but this was different.

When it came to chillin’ at each other’s spots, we both felt like fish out of water. She thinks my Kareoke contests and poetry readings are boring, and I can think of a million other things to do other than stand around all night with Saun and her stud homies standing seven and eight deep watching females dressed like video ho’s ‘back dat azz up’.

Why would a young, single, attractive, not to mention STRAIGHT woman want to spend an evening in a place where there was absolutely no possibility of seeing anyone of the opposite sex that wasn’t dressed like a woman or hawking other men? Besides that I can’t stand Saun’s friends, especially that Ty. One night at a party I saw Ty kissing on Yazmeen, and even though I never told Saun, I never forgot it. Saun never acted shady with me when they were around and I was always thankful of that. Nothing worse than kicking it with a friend at a strange place, and they run off and leave you in a corner by yourself while they go do their thing… Her friend’s can help acting shady because they are shady!

I had been quiet for a while, going through my thoughts for a minute when Saun interrupted my train of thought. “You gonna kick it with me tonight or what? She asked again. “I don’t think so, Saun.” I sighed. “You know I don’t like dyke bars, and I don’t like your ‘gurlz’. In the words of Stephanie Mills, ‘I need, I need, I need the comfort of a man.’”

Saun folded her arms in protest. “And I need, I need, I need the comfort of a friend tonight.” She quipped. “Who you gonna run to when ole’ boy turns out to be a crack head or worse, when ya’ll are done cyber sexin’, he decides that he’s married and that it would be best that you don’t talk anymore?” I shot Saun the evil eye. I couldn’t believe she sat there and ran down some old shyt to me in 30 seconds flat. “You didn’t need to go there with me, Saun”

See, Saun is my best friend and I love her to death. I love everything about her and I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t even try. But I’d I swear that every time I meet someone, she tries her best to let the air out of it before we even get going. If I didn’t know better I’d say she was jealous. “Cock blockin’ without a cock, I see.” I quipped. “I’m going to be forced to give you a ticket.” “On the contrary my friend, I have a cock, and while I’m not cock blockin’, as you put it, I have several other uses for it. Care for a little demonstration?”

I couldn’t believe Saun let that one leave her lips. What a thing to say. Needless to say, after that it was silent between us for a good hour. After all we were at work and we did have other things to do. She pissed me off, and I think I pissed her off too. We worked side by side in silence the rest of the morning. We didn’t even have lunch together. By lunch I was already over it, but I didn’t press. She would come to me when she was ready to ‘kiss and make up’. She always did.

I had even already decided to go out with her that night. As much as I hated to admit it, she had been right. She always had my back when I was down. When I come to her with a broken heart, broken spirit, whatever… She always does what she can to make it better. From sending flowers when my fiancé walked out on me, to chicken soup when I get sick, she is a true friend. This was my chance to show some of that same love to her.

After lunch, the minute we saw each other, we both gushed apologies. “Mah, I’m sorry. I acted an ass, I was selfish, and I have no right.” I shook my head, “Naw, Saun I’m sorry. I wasn’t sensitive to your needs at all.” Saun settled in her chair and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders from behind. “Pick me up at eight, and don’t be late.” I whispered.

I could see the beginnings of a smile fill Saun’s cheeks. “You know you don’t have to.” She began. “Yes I do.” I smiled. She turned and made an effort to protest, but I silenced her with a finger across her lips. “For all the times you sat through endless nights of Kareoke, poetry readings, and auditions just to hold my hand, the least I can do is be there tonight and hold yours.”

Saun’s smile was now full blown. She took my hand in hers and kissed it tenderly. From behind her back she pulled a single long stemmed rose. It had a tiny stuffed dog attached to it with his face formed in a pout. He had a little sign around his neck that said, ‘I’m Sorry’. “Aww,” I smiled, putting the flower in the vase I kept on hand, and propping the puppy on top of my monitor.

We sat in silence smiling at one another. What happened next was so sudden and yet so natural, it took us both by surprise. It was almost like I blinked and there were. Hand in hand, lips to lips, and tongue to tongue. A stifled moan escaped from one of us and just as quickly as it all began, it ended. We jumped apart, suddenly aware that we had crossed the line. We looked around to see if we’d been spotted by anyone. Thank goodness we hadn’t.

Saun jumped out of her seat and leaned against the wall across from our workspace. I sat starting at my computer screen, shocked and amazed. "Did I just kiss my best friend like my life depended on it?” I asked myself silently. Judging by the wetness that developed had between my thighs, not only did I kiss the shyt out of my best friend, but I thoroughly enjoyed doing so.

Saun was the first to break the awkward silence between us. I think beyond shock, we were too scared to say anything. I wanted so badly to know what she was thinking and feeling. It was almost 3pm, and time for us to leave. Before I could ask her anything, she began to log off her computer and gather her things. “Uhh, I’ll pick you up at eight.” She mumbled. With that being said, without another word, she was gone. It was a little early but I stood up and began to gather my things too, welcoming the 30 minute commute home. I really needed to clear my head.

I hoped Saun didn’t think I was mad at her or anything because I wasn’t. The kiss just happened. If anything we kissed each other. If anyone was to blame I think it would be me. Putting my arms around her neck and whispering in her ear got the best of both of us. I drove home in a daze. My head was buzzing. From the lure of her cologne, to the softness of her lips, Saun should’ve been exhausted because thoughts of her ran through my mind in a constant state of rewind.

Once I got home I stripped off my clothes, deciding that a hot bath was what I needed to get my mind right. I only had a few hours before I had to get ready and go out with Saun, and I needed to relax and decide how I was going to deal with what happened between us. When Saun made that crack about her ‘cock’ earlier, I had the strangest urge to take her up on her offer. It only lasted a split second, but suddenly the thought had come to mind.

I lit some incense and candles and turned off the lights. Sliding into the steamy water, I allowed my soapy hands to caress and explore my body. With my head tilted back, I parted my full, juicy lips and teased them with my tongue. Cupping one of my full, chocolate breasts in each hand, I let my fingers dance across my sensitive pierced nubs. Tugging tat the silver rings, a familiar sensation mounted between my slippery thighs.

I slid my hands down the length of my body. Finding their way to the warm, wet petals of my ‘rose’, my fingers slid deliciously across my firm ‘bud’, and I buried them deep inside my hole. I felt myself on the edge. My legs trembled as I quickened my pace. “Uhh huh, Uhh huh, Uhh huh…” I moaned, as I inched closer to my moment of truth like the front car on a roller coaster creeps to the top of a hill and you come crashing down at the speed of light.

“Ohhhh!” I cried as the orgasm erupted like with the force of a volcano. I closed my eyes tight and the vision of Saun staring up at me from between my legs flashed before my eyes. I shivered and shook under the force of the orgasm and as it subsided I collapsed. Lying there breathless, I collected my thoughts. “What a day, what a day…” I thought to myself. My heart was racing and I couldn’t get what happened between Saun and I out of my head. I didn’t know what to make of it all. “Am I really into her?” I thought. “Like that?”

I shook my head free from the question without answering. I stood, showered quickly, and proceeded to get dressed. I decided on tight denim shorts cut just below the curve of my ass. Together with a back-less leather bandanna top, and thigh-high, black leather boots I created an urban vamp vision. I felt more like I was getting ready for a date, rather than a night on the town with a close friend.

I found myself racking my brain, thinking about all of the conversations we’d had in the past about what kind of women she liked and what sort of things attracted her to women. After adding a little mouse to my hair, I let my natural curls take shape and frame my face. I lined my lips and applied a little gloss before stepping back to take a look in the full-length mirror. I looked as if I stepped right out of her wildest fantasy. Pleased with my appearance, I misted my skin with a little Carolina Hererra, body glitter and I was good to go.

A few minutes later, Saun knocked at the door, unleashing the butterflies in my stomach. Not the Michael Jackson kind, the Alicia Keys kind. You know the kind that “got me flyin’ so high in the sky.” I grabbed my jacket, purse and keys and floated to the door. “Damn!” Saun exclaimed when I opened the door and stepped into the light. “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

Warmth flooded my cheeks and I stood there, loving the attention she was giving me. I knew deep inside I could’ve been dressed in a paper bag, and she would’ve had the same reaction. She always complimented me no batter how awful I looked. That’s just the way that she was. She wasn’t looking bad her self. Dressed in long denim shorts, a red jersey, and suede red ‘Stacey’s’ to match, she was super clean!

I noticed Saun hiding something behind her back. I felt the blood rush to my face again as she handed me two dozen red roses. It wasn’t like she hadn’t given me flowers before. Saun always had a flower no matter what the occasion. She said I was the only person who truly appreciated them. Yazmeen always said she’d rather have the money so she could by something she wanted that wouldn’t die in a couple days. Her loss was always my gain, however tonight’s gesture was special.

I rushed off to put the flowers in water. When I returned the scent of Drakkar teased my nostrils, and we stood there in silence for a long time just checking each other out. “Ready to go?” I asked finally breaking the silence between us. “Yeah, Infinity or Escalade?” she asked referring to our choice of transportation for the evening. “Escalade if I can drive.” I answered. “Bet,” she replied.

Saun was the perfect gentlewoman. She held my hand as we walked out to the SUV. She opened my door and helped me up and into the massive machine, handed me the seatbelt and secured the door. She went back to my front door to make sure it was locked, and climbed in on the passenger side. She asked what kind of music I wanted to listen to, selected the CD’s and my favorite song, “You” by Jessie Powell, filled the air.

Saun gave me brief directions to where we were going and I pointed the Escalade towards our destination. We didn’t talk at all while ‘my song’ played. Ever since I was a little girl, it seems I have been waiting for my prince charming to ride up on his black horse and love me like I need and want to be loved. Jessie Powell put what I was feeling into words and set it to music, and I thank him for that, but this was my song, and Saun was my ‘You’.

It may sound like I was making a rash decision based upon an emotional experience with someone I’m close to but it’s more than that. I know that the coming out experience is different for everyone, and never before had the thought entered my mind. What I did know, was that somewhere between her lips and mine our friendship became something more, at least it had to me. I never wanted to get down with a woman, least of all Saun, my best friend. What wend down between us earlier made me thirsty for more. I wanted to be both her friend and her lover.

We arrived at the club, and I found a parking spot near the entrance. Saun came around to my side, opened the door, and helped me out. Hand in hand we proceeded into the club. It was both scary and exciting, boldly marching inside hand in hand. Saun gave her customary dap to a few of her friends, and all eyes were on us. Strangely enough it felt so natural, and the two of us made a stunning couple.

We arrived at the coat check area, and with my back to her I unzipped my jacket and allowed it slide off, revealing my bare shoulders and the rest of the barely there bandanna top. “Jesus.” Saun gasped. I spun around to face her and she looked like she’d died and gone to heaven. “What?” I asked innocently, knowing full well what she was referring to. Saun took my arm and possessively led me through the crowd. We found a secluded table and she pulled out my chair before I sat. As I sank into my seat, I felt her lips graze my ear.

“You’re looking damn good Mami,” She whispered. Shivers ran up and down my spine, and a smile crept across my lips. We sat not speaking; bopping to the music until Saun’s favorite song came on. “I love you, and I need you. Nelly, I love, and I need you…” The crowd shifted toward the dance floor and every girl grabbed her girl. Saun grabbed my hand and motioned to the floor. “May I have this dance?” she asked softly. She flashed one of her million dollar smiles, and I could not resist. Hand in hand, Saun and I let the smooth hip-hop groove press our bodies together and move us to the beat like we were the only two people in the place.

With every touch from her my excitement grew. Just when I didn’t think my nipples could get any tighter, they did. The stiff peaks grazed Saun’s rhythmic fingertips strained against my leather top. The sensation reverberated through my body and created a familiar dampness between my thighs. Whoever said, “Sometimes dancing can make you fall in love,” knew exactly what they were talking about. The love I had for Saun, I realize now, already existed by way of our friendship. Tonight by opening myself up to her emotionally, I found myself head of heals in love with her. Even though I considered myself straight, I was in love with Saun and had no desire to up on the breaks.

“I need a drink!” I shouted over the loud music. “What are you drinking?” Saun shouted back. “Surprise me!” I answered. She nodded and motioned for me to go back to our table, before disappearing into the crowd near the bar. It was hot, and I fanned myself as I pushed my way through the crowd toward our table. I was about halfway there when I felt someone’s breath on my neck and heard the words, “I thought you’d be the likely choice.”

I spun around to find Saun’s ex-girlfriend Yazmeen and a couple of her friends standing behind me. Even though Yazmeen is a very beautiful woman, I couldn’t help but think she and her gal pals looked a lot like the devil and her imps. She was dressed in a read cat suit with black leather boots. The only thing she lacked was horns, a tail, and a pitchfork. “What?” I yelled, partly because I was annoyed, and partly because the music was loud. I couldn’t stand her from day one, and today was no different.

“I said, I thought you’d be the likely choice.” She cooed. I didn’t know what in the world she was talking about. I look at her hard. She continued to smile at me like a cat on crack. “Saun didn’t waste anytime filling the void I left in her life did she?” Void? I wanted to slap her teeth out just for GP. Even after breaking up with Saun, she still wanted to be the center of attention. I wasn’t about to embarrass Saun by starting a fight. I was just about to walk away, when Saun walked up with our drinks.

Saun looked at Yazmeen, nodded and kept walking. “What’s the matter Saun?” Yazmeen called. “Scared I’m going to let out your dirty little secret?” Saun tried to act like she didn’t hear her but I could see her body stiffen at the mention of the secret. I could hear Yazmeen and her rat back cackling as I followed Saun to the table. “I was just telling ‘Mah’ that it was time she dropped the straight facade and allow you to be with the woman of your dreams, Saun!” Saun stopped dead in her tracks and closed her eyes.

“Now is not the time Yaz,” Saun growled from behind gritted teeth. Yazmeen threw her head back and let out a evil laugh. “Not the right time? Like I always say Saun, there’s no better time than the present. I know you told her, didn’t you?” Yazmeen inquired. Saun didn’t say anything. I looked at her and then and Yazmeen who’s smile was getting bigger by the minute. “Go on Saun tell her.” I looked at Saun, who suddenly wouldn’t look me in the eye. “Tell me what?” I asked. “Nothing.” Saun mumbled.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say it was nothing Saun, it was the reason you and I broke up.” Yazmeen quipped. “It wasn’t the reason, and you know it Yazmeen.” Saun answered. “Know that you and your little ‘straight girl’ fantasy was getting in the way of what I was feelin’. But don’t worry, I’m not going to let your little secret out of the bag.” With that Yazmeen turned and her friend followed. Saun and I continued over to the table to have our drinks. “I’m sorry about that little display, ‘Mah’, I know you hate scenes, but you know how Yaz can be.” She explained.

I wanted to ask her about the secret. She and I never kept secrets from each other. From the look on her face at the mere mention of it, let me know it was a big one, whatever it was. I was kind of upset that she was holding out on me, but I knew she’d let me know when the time was right. “Yeah, she’s all about drama.” I sighed. “But I’m not going to let that ruin our evening together.” Saun smiled. “I’m having a wonderful time.” I winked.

Saun smiled and passed my half a carafe of some pink liquid. I took a big swig and licked my lips. “Mmm, Saun what is this?” I asked. Saun almost giggled. “Never had anything like it, huh?” At this point I was suspicious. “Stop your giggling, girl,” I growled, feigning anger. “What do you have me sipping on?” Saun could hold back no longer. She burst out laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. “Let the record show that you got your first taste of ‘GirlDick’ from me!” Tears welled up in Saun’s eyes and trickled down her face.

Again I wasn’t amused. “Glad to see that you are at least able to amuse yourself.” I quipped. “You should’ve gotten a double, no sense in me having all the fun.” I stuck my finger into the drink. Using my finger, I lined my lips with the sticky fluid. “You wanna taste?” I asked with a grin. Saun’s smile faded. She actually looked a little nervous. When she realized I was serious, she gently took my face into her hands, leaned forward, and traced my lips with her tongue. After licking my lips free of their ‘gloss’, she planted a feather soft kiss on my lips. I could feel her tremble as she released me.

As our lips parted, Saun searched my eyes for an answer to the question weighing on both our minds. I couldn’t explain what was happening between her and I. Instinctively, I leaned forward and took her face in my hands. Just as she had done to me, I traced her lips with my tongue, and while my heart beat as loud as a bass drum, first our lips, and then our tongues came together our first deliberate kiss. It was short and very sweet. When our lips parted, Saun looked away shyly. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” She whispered.

“Do what?” I asked. “Kiss you. Feel your lips against mine.” She confessed now looking down at her empty beer bottle, meticulously peeling off the label. I knew she was trying hard not to look at me. “What’s wrong Saun?” I asked snatching the beer away from her and turning her face toward me. “This is me you’re talking to. What’s up with all the bashfulness?” I demanded. Saun sighed loudly. “Mah, you and I have been friends for a long time. Nobody knows more than I do that this lifestyle isn’t your type of hype and I didn’t mean to pressure you or impress upon you what’s in my heart. I just couldn’t help myself. Not earlier today, and not a few minutes ago.”

“Mahogany, I have fantasized for years about kissing and loving you. After what we shared earlier…” her voice trailed off. All of the things a woman wants to hear coming from the heart of someone who loves her. I couldn’t say anything, even though I knew what I was feeling. Before Saun could continue, the music died down and we watched Ty move to the center of the dance floor. I glanced at my watch, noting the time was 10:30pm, just as she promised.

“I’d like to thank all of you for making opening night for the G-Spot a huge success.” Ty began. “To my business partners, friends and family I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Ty called all of her friends up to the center of the room and offered them all glasses of Moet. “I chose tonight to make this announcement so all that I love would be able to celebrate in this joyous occasion.” As she said that, she waved her arm and the devil girl herself, Yazmeen, walked to the center of the floor and locked arms with Ty. “Tonight after the club closes, Yazmeen and I will fly off to Hawaii to be married.” A hush fell over the room. Several of the people there who knew Saun turned to look at her, and then back to Ty and Yazmeen. Saun never moved and never showed any emotion.

Saun watched in silence as they toasted the union, and began a spotlight dance for the happy couple. I knew I smelled a rat. Why else would Ty insist on Saun being there and knowingly invite Yazmeen. What a friend! She moved in on her ‘friend’s’ woman, and flaunted it in front of hundreds of people. “Saun, we don’t have to sit through this, you know. We can go.” I offered. Saun nodded and grabbed for my hand. To my surprise, on the way out she congratulated Ty and Yaz, before we headed to the coat checkroom.

We walked out to the car, and drove away in silence. After a few minutes, I couldn’t hold back anymore. Saun acted like the whole thing didn’t bother her, while I wanted to burn that club down. “What the hell is going on Saun?” I asked, “First Yazmeen calls herself confronting us both, then she calls you out about some little secret. Then Ty announces that she’s flying to Hawaii to marry Yazmeen, and your break up isn’t 24 hours old!” I ranted. “Then you act like it’s nothing and even congratulate the ‘happy couple’?”

Saun turned off at a nearby park, and after parking the car, still without saying a word, she helped me out, and led me to a picnic table underneath a shady tree. In the moonlight, it was the most beautiful place I’d ever seen. We sat in silence looking out at the lake before us, that reflected the moon and the star-less night sky.

“Listen,” Saun began. “I’ve known about Yaz and Ty for sometime now. It was no secret. Yaz and I had so many problems, and decided to move on months before she moved out. I’m cool with her and Ty and even happy for them. As far as that dirty little secret, it’s just something she’s bitter about still. Everytime we had a fight she tried to use it against me.” I still didn’t understand. “What did she mean about my ‘straight façade’, and your ‘straight girl fantasy’?” I asked.

Saun went on to explain that she’d confided in Yazmeen about something that was in her heart. After getting over the initial anger and hurt, Yaz urged her to tell me, but she couldn’t and wouldn’t in fear that I would reject her. “Mahogany,” Saun began. “I didn’t want to do anything to wreck our friendship, and I still don’t. But if I don’t tell you how I feel, I’m going to explode.” I nodded and she continued. “Mah, I’m so in love with you I can’t think, sleep, or eat. What started out as a crush when we first met has grown into serious feelings for you. I know you aren’t into me like that, and I understand, but please understand that I have to tell you this right now.”

I sat there staring at the lake saying nothing, but thinking long and hard about what she was saying. After today I realized that I’d been harboring feelings for her. No one ever understood me like Saun, and no one has ever made me feel as special, as needed, as wanted, or as loved as she did right then. But I also couldn’t get over the secret. She still hadn’t explained what it was, and I obviously had something to do with it. I wondered at this point, why she was still holding back. It must’ve been something really bad.

“Are you going to say anything?” Saun asked tentatively. She searched my face for some sort of reaction, but I didn’t give her one. I was at a loss for words. I remained lost in my thoughts for a few minutes more. I sighed loudly, and stood to my feet. “Saun, I wanna go home.” I said flatly. Saun looked at me with a wide-eyed expression. She started to speak but I shushed her. “Now Saun, take me home now!”


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