I regret fucking up with her. I see her with another bitch and I just flip
out but I need to realize that it was me who played the stupid ass games.
Maybe things would be better if I knew what I know now.
When I met Alicia, we were at the bowling alley and she needed some major
help on how she handled the ball so I took it as if she wouldn't mind if I
"You're holding the ball wrong." I said as I stood behind her.
She turned around suddenly and looked at me as if I were what she desired.
"And how am I suppose to be holding it?" She asked in the most sincere voice
a nigga could ever hear coming from someone so sexy and mysterious. I
couldn't find the words. She had a very unique vibe about her that was
"Would you mind if I showed you?"
"No, not at all." She answered with a smirk.
She was flirting with me but hell, I was flirting with her so, it was a
mutual thang at that point. She was feelin' me. Who wouldn't?
I got up close on her, on her behind. She didn't say anything about it so I'm
guessing that it didn't bother her. I showed her how to position the ball on
her fingers and how to hold it so it wouldn't be so much pressure on her
wrist and I also showed her a good way to stand, I only did that becuz she
was bending over on me and I know she felt the strap, I felt her ass poking
"What's your name?" I asked her after the quick lesson.
"Alicia. And yours?"
"Well, the name is Dayshawna but my people call me Shawn."
"So, I take it as if you want me to be one of your 'people'?"
I had to smile at that one. It was like she was reading my mind.
"If its possible. I think I make a pretty good friend. I seem nice so far,
She smiled, "Yeah, you seem kind of cool. A little bit too cool. You sure
you're not running game on me?"
I smiled, "Yep, I'm sure baby girl. No need for that shit. Just being myself.
So, how am I going to able to reach you?"
She laughed as if I were joking but I wasn't.
"I'm serious." I said to assure her.
"I know, thats why its so funny. Its like you're implying that I want to talk
to you again."
"Damn, I'm hurt. You're making it seem like you don't want to talk to me."
"You shouldn't assume. You'll make an ass out of yourself."
"Not in front of a beauty like yourself."
"Damn, did I make you blush?" I asked, already knowing that I did.
She smiled, "Stop looking so hard and you wouldn't see."
She was fiesty. I was loving that. After we'd talked for about 5 minutes, she
gave me her number and told me I'd better use it.
About 2 days later, I called her up and we talked about alot of stuff.
She told me how she'd never been with a girl before and how she'd desired it.
That explained that look she gave me at the bowling alley. Right then, I knew
it was going to be mines. She liked me. I could tell by the tone of voice.
After we talked for about 3 hours, we made plans to chill at the mall the
next day, which we did.
I met her there and she looked like a bitch out of a magazine. I was getting
happy becuz I knew it was going to be mines. And when I say 'it', I mean, the
pussy. Hell, it was obvious that she wanted me. We were in the mall holding
hands and she kept calling me 'baby' and 'boo' and she kissed me on my cheek
about 10 times. I was thinking to myself 'this is a waste of my time, just
give me the pussy' but no, I guess she had that little Nun thing going on.
Talking about she didn't have sex when she's wasn't in a relationship. I told
her, no one has to know but she got all sensitive so, I knew what I had to
do. Make her like me enough so I could call her my girl, to get in the draws.
After spending about 2 weeks straight with her, we finally hooked up. She let
everyone know that I was hers. I hated that but I also liked it. I liked it
becuz she wasn't ashamed of her sexuality but I hated it becuz I could've had
other hoes that I wanted to chill with but luckily, other bitches I fucked
were never around and she knew none of them.
About 2 months into our relationship, she invited me over. I was going to
break up with her becuz I wanted to fuck and she was taking a damn long time
like she was so fuckin' precious and I was upset becuz, to be honest, I
hadn't fucked anyone since me and her had first got together becuz I was
try'n 2 cut down a little bit but when I got to her crib, she answered the
door looking like a damn playboy model. Her beige, lace bra and thong set
made her caramel skin look like golden bronze. Her thick thighs made my mouth
water and her beautiful, brown eyes made her face look as if she were Miss
America. I knew what the plan was that Nite.
She led me up to her room. When I walked in, candles were lit everywhere. It
smelt like hot sex.
"What kind of candles are these?" I asked.
"The fragrance is called Red Orgasm." And she smiled.
Hint after hint after hint. Anyone in their right mind would've known what
she wanted to do.
We talked for about 5 minutes then she layed back on the bed, opened her
housecoat and said, "take my virginity." I stood up and took off my shirt.
She watched and her face glistened. I could see the sparkle in her eyes. I
climbed up on the bed, inbetween her legs.
"Take your time, I want my first time to be memorable."
"Alicia, I'll do my best to please you." I said, only to seem sweet. I was
ready to fuck.
I started kissing her inner thigh. She rubbed my head softly. I licked the
lining between her thong and thigh. She pulled my hair a little bit. It was
turning her on. While I was licking her thigh, I unfastened her bra. Her
nipples were so beautiful. Mocha brown. I stopped licking on her thighs and
started sucking her nipples. She went wild. I licked from her navel to the
top of her thong area. I pulled her thong down with my teeth. I was surprised
to see how wet she was. She had the Nile River beat. Her pussy was shaved.
Shaved and PHAT. Ain't nothing better then a PHAT ass pussy.
I kissed her outter lips and nibbled around her clit a little bit.
"Oww baby, that stings." She managed to say while she was moaning.
"I won't hurt you. Just be quiet." She was kind of irritating me with all
that talking but as long as I was getting what I wanted, it didn't really
I started sucking & biting the hell out of her clit. She was pulling my hair.
I knew I was giving it to her good. Then, when I stuck my tongue in her, all
hell broke loose. She was screaming.
"Ohhh Shawn, ooo baby, it feels so good. Oh my goodness. Ohh my goodness. It
feels so good baby. I want to cumm. I want you to make me cumm all in your
mouth baby. Ohhhh, I love you!!!"
I was wondering, where in the hell did she get all this love shit from. I
didn't know if she were serious or not but I did know that I was doing
After she had came about 3 times, I laid her on her stomach and lifted her
ass up in the air.
"What are you doing baby?" She asked.
"I'm about to hit it. Be quiet."
"Don't hurt me. Be gentle." She moaned.
"Pain is pleasure, just be quiet." She was getting on my nerves with all that
damn talking. I wanted her to shut the fuck up. I just wanted to fuck. Not
fuck and conversation. Just FUCK!
I entered her ass with my 9 inch. She was tight as hell. I was fucking the
hell out of her and she was screaming. I was smacking her ass and I started
making long hard strokes and she was moaning so loud, I could have sworn she
was crying but I didn't care becuz she didn't stop me so I figured she liked
We switched positions and she started riding me. She was stroking back and
forth, very hard and it was so hard, it felt like my clit was getting carpet
burns but I didn't care becuz I was getting the pussy I knew I was going to
"Mmm, damn Alicia, feels good baby. Keep on going. Damn, ooooo." I was kind
of embarrassed that she made me moan. I felt like a bitch. No girl had ever
made me moan before. It is a first 4 everything. After about 20 minutes of
her riding me, I came. I layed there and she layed next to me and in a blink
of an eye, she was down there giving me head. It was good too. She was
sucking all her cumm off of my dick. She took the strap off and started
licking me. I didn't like that shit but I was to tired to stop her and it
felt good a little bit and I had got me a cumm so I wasn't tripping. About 5
minutes later, I pulled her up and sat her on my face. She clenched the
headboard and was riding my face like she was just riding my dick. My
piercings in my tongue were no use becuz the stiffness in my tongue did all
the work. Nothing's better then a stiff tongue. She'd came about 4 times but
the last time was very intense. She started riding my face hard. I held her
ass, grabbing it. After she was done, she layed by me and went to sleep.
I couldn't sleep, I was ready to leave but I didn't want to be rude so I
helped myself to some Captain Crunch. When she woke up, I was dressed and
ready to go.
"I'm about to leave. I have to work 2nite." I said.
"Ok, make sure you call me when you get off."
"I get off at 4 in the morning so I don't think I will." I said.
She looked at me like she was upset. I couldn't say no to her for some
"But, if I don't call you, I'll make sure we spend all day 2morrow 2getha." I
said with a smile.
She smiled at me and got out the bed to kiss me, "Ok,
babe, you can let yourself out, I love you."
I couldn't say I loved her back becuz I didn't. Well, at least I thought I
didn't. "A'ight litte mama, I'll holla." I left out the room b4 I could get a
Later on that night, I was chillin' with my bitch, Rosalynda, who I fucked
every now and then. Rosa gave good head and could fuck real good. But, when
Rosa was riding my dick, all I could think about was Alicia. I don't know why
but I was thinking about that love shit. I cared for her but I didn't want to
accept it so I tried to avoid the shot in the ass that cupid had given me.
About 7 months into our relationship, me and Alicia were chillin' at the Hot
Spot, a little hangout. Rosa walked over to our table. I knew it was about to
be trouble. Rosa was the type of person that did whatever to get what she
wanted and she wanted me.
"Hi Shawn. How are you?"
"I'm cool Rosa, and you?"
"I'm fine and who is this?" Rosa looked at me in a devilsh way.
"You know who this is." I said as I kissed Alicia's hand.
"Actually, I don't." Rosa said.
"Well, I'll refresh your memory. This is my girl, Alicia."
"What do you mean when you say girl?" Rosa asked.
"She means girlfriend." Alicia answered.
"Well, that can't be possible becuz I thought that was my role, right Shawn?"
"Hell no. Alicia, don't listen to her."
"Alicia, or whatever your name is, that night you and Shawn first fucked, she
told you she had to work but instead, she came to my house and we fucked!"
Rosa said with her thick, Hispanic accent.
Alicia looked at me and got up and walked away.
"Now, she's out of the way." Rosa said with a devious grin.
"Get the fuck off me Rosa." I pushed her away and went to chase Alicia.
I caught up with her.
"Alicia, she's lying, I did go to work that night. She just wants me. Rosa is
a friend of mines that I tell everything to. She's just jealous that I don't
want her and I have you. I did go to work."
"No, you didn't becuz I called that night and they said you had called off!"
I didn't know what to say. I had to think of something. I couldn't let her
go. She was to good of a fuck but I also couldn't let her go becuz I cared
for her but I didn't want to accept it. I kept telling myself I didn't want
her to go becuz she could fuck but I was lying to myself.
"Ok, I did call off but I didn't fuck her. I also didn't call u becuz I
wanted 2 spend the next day with you. I spent all night buying you flowers,
chocolates and that diamond necklace u are wearing now and then I had it sent
to you anonymous. That's why I never asked how in the hell did you get this
She smiled. I wasn't lying. I only sent this stuff to her becuz I knew how
Rosa was. I had this shit planned. But, I did fuck Rosa. I actually brought
all the stuff and had it delivered from Rosa's computer. But Rosa didn't know
so hell, there goes my lie.
We went back to my apartment and had sex. She called it making love but I
called it just getting a nut.
About 1 year and a half into our relationship, I was at my apartment, with
Rosa, eating her pussy like there was no tomorrow. She was sitting on my bed,
and I was on my knees. Rosa pushed my head back. "What was that for?" I asked.
She pointed behind me. I turned around and there was Alicia standing there
with tears in her eyes. There was no way I could get out of this one. I
forgot that she knew were I put my spare key.
"I see that you don't care about other peoples feelings." Alicia said.
"I think I should go." Rosa said.
"No, you can stay. I'm done with her. You can have her Rosa. Shawn, forget
you ever knew me." Alicia walked away.
I couldn't chase her and explain anything. It wouldn't have made any sense.
3 months later, I was at a club and I saw Alicia dancing with some stud and I
got jealous. I left. A while back, I was chillin' at Cherri's Cafe and she
walked in with some bitch, a stud, named Tina. I sat and watched her. I
wanted her so bad. This time, I wouldn't have fucked up with her but I
couldn't even speak to her. When Tina got up, I went to Alicia.
"Alicia, can we work things out? Please?"
"No, you should have realized what you had when you had it. I loved you and
you said u loved me but I guess it was a lie."
"I didn't want to accept that I loved you. I told myself I would never fall
in love. You made me feel ways that no girl has ever made me feel before and
now, I want your love."
"You should have wanted it when we were together. I don't want to have
anything to do with you." She walked away.
Now, I sit here, in my apartment with someone I don't even want, Rosa.
Everyday, I slip and call her Alicia but she doesn't care becuz she only
wants sex. I wish I would have knew what I know now. What I know is not to
pass up love, or something good when you know its staring you right in the
face becuz if you do, you'll end up like me, alone and heartbroken, forever.
Why? Becuz I did it to myself.
Copyright © 2002. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.