by
Glitter

_____Ring, ring!!

_____Missy Elliot stopped her sensual massage on my feet, and one catlike eye winked at me. “I want you.”

_____“God, yes.” I whispered, as she moved above me. I spread my legs and she settled between them, pressing her body into me, as her full lips met mine. I wound my fingers in her short hair, as I wrapped my legs around her thick body, locking my ankles.

_____Ring, ring!!

_____She gently bit my bottom lip, tugging on it before letting it go and looked deep into my eyes. “Tell me you want it.”

_____“I want it.” I panted.

_____Ring, ring!!

_____Her hand slid between our bodies. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard.” She promised with conviction.

_____“You better.” I replied just as confident.

_____Ring, ring!!

_____“Beg me to ring you.”

_____“Ring me.”

_____“Again.”

_____“Ring me.”

_____“Louder.”

_____Ring, ring!!

_____No, no, no.

Missy’s lips found my neck, and I felt her teeth bite into my skin. My hand tightened on her head, keeping her lips against me.

_____“Don’t stop ringing.” I begged.

_____Ring, ring!!

_____Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Missy’s hand found that spot, making me moan. But then her hand went away. She started to fade.

Ring, ring!!

My eyes flew opened and I stared at the ceiling sleepily.

_____Ring, ring!!

_____My hand immediately shot out, grabbing the cordless on my nightstand.

_____“If you’re not dying, I’m gonna be so mad.” I said into the phone, no clue who the other person was. My eyes shifted to the other side of my bed, wishing that my dream was true and Missy Elliot could really be here.

_____“Felicia.”

_____“I know who I am. The question is who are you?” I asked.

_____“Girl, wake up! This is Ronnie.”

_____I inwardly groaned. “Ronnie, do you realize what time it is?”

_____“I know, I know, but I need to talk to you.” She sniffed.

_____“Are you crying?”

_____“Yes.”

_____I forced myself to sit up, and my eyes focused on the clock. Two-fifty-two. Oh, God, what could have possibly happened this late at night?

_____“What happened?”

_____“He left me.”

_____“What? Who?”

_____“James. He’s gone.”

_____I reached for a cigarette and lighter. “Why did he leave?”

_____“Cuz I told him I wanted him to leave.”

_____I had to think about that for a moment. “You did hear yourself say what you just said, right?”

_____“I know what I told him, Felicia. But I didn’t think he’d really leave. He never does.”

_____“What made this time different?”

_____“He got a new woman.” She started to cry harder.

_____“And you’re upset over this?” I asked. No offense, but James was most known for being unemployed, smoking weed and frequenting strip bars---when he wasn’t playing video games and gambling. He was no big asset, I’m sorry. I couldn’t understand how Ronnie managed to put up with him for a year.

_____“Of course, I’m upset. I love him.”

_____Oh, sweet Jesus, why do these women always say that? And why is it that the guy that’s worst for you is the one that you want the most?

_____“I know, I know. But this is a good thing, Ronnie. You’ll realize it in the morning. You are better off without him.”

_____She sniffed. “I know. And what he did was fucked up, but I can’t help it.”

_____“You can’t tell me you were surprised that he cheated on you.”

_____“No, I’m not surprised. I told you that I suspected he was. But I didn’t think he’d do it in my fucking bed.”

_____Get the fuck out of here. “Are you serious?”

_____“I walked in on them, girl.” Ronnie said. “Classic scene right out of a fucking movie. I came home early to surprise him with some new lingerie that I got from Vicky’s, and when I walked into my room, there they were. On my muthafuckin’ bed. On my mama’s sheets---you know the ones she gave me for my birthday, the cute purple and light blue floral ones?…Damn, I have to burn them now. He even called her ‘baby’, Felicia. I wanted to fucking kick her head in.”

_____“You know her?” I asked, wondering why do women automatically want to beat the chick down when she obviously wasn’t the one who did the wrong.

_____“Yeah. That chick that works at the Dairy Queen.”

_____“Not the busted one.”

_____“No, the light-skinned one, with the red hair…looks like Charlie Baltimore.”

_____“Oh.” Even I had to admit that she was bangin’. The girl had a body that would make anyone want to steal a taste of her. She was more slender than I preferred, but she had a great ass and sweet thick lips. Mmm…thick lips. Damn, I wish I could get back to Missy.

_____“I wanna burn all his shit so bad. Angela Bassett would have nothing on me.”

_____“Don’t go crazy.”

_____“Why in my bed, Felicia?” She asked. She was crying hard again. “I mean, damn. I did everything for him. He wanted to work on his music; I gave him time to do it. I took care of his ass. And he fucking plays me like this. And in my own bed.”

_____“He’s a player, Ronnie, what did you expect?” I said. Don’t even think I was being rude. You don’t know Ronnie. If there was a rotten guy out there who was single, she’d manage to find him and fall in love with him. Ever since we were kids, I’d have this conversation with her at least once a year.

_____“I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” She said softly.

_____“You’ll hurt for a while, hide out for a few days, then get sick and tired of your wardrobe, buy new clothes, go to the club, and find yourself another GQ wannabe with only one tooth in his mouth that has a gold cap on it.”

_____She laughed, and I smiled, happy that I could get her to.

_____“Ugh, I need a drink.”

_____“This late?” I asked.

_____“Girl, it’s early, what are you talking about. We used to leave the club for the after parties at this time.”

_____“That was before we discovered the real world and work.” I said, realizing I still hadn’t lit the cigarette.

_____“It’s Friday night.” She said.

_____“Technically Saturday morning.”

_____“Come over.”

_____“Are you high?”

_____“About to be. Come over and party with me.”

_____“You’re fucking out of your mind.” I lit the cigarette.

_____“What do you have to do tomorrow?”

_____“Everything I can’t do while I’m at work.”

_____“Felicia, come on.”

_____“Hell the fuck no. I’m already in bed, comfy---in fact, I was having an erotic dream, thank you very much. I’m all set and I ain’t moving.”

_____“You’re no fun.” I could even imagine the pout on her face.

_____“It’s not gonna work.” I said.

_____“Please, Felicia?” Her voice got soft and cute and I could feel it getting to me. She knew that when she got like that I couldn’t say no to her. Even when we were kids, I always gave in to her when she acted cute and pouty.

_____But not this time. “Nope.”

_____“What if I got Rashida and Mouse to come?”

_____“Then I’d call you a miracle-worker and wish the three of you a good time.”

_____“Get your stank ass out of that bed, you old woman, and come over my house and get drunk with me!”

_____“Fuck you.” I said, tossing the blankets off my body. Yes, I was going to go. Don’t act surprised. Shit, you’d have to be an idiot to say no to free drinks---especially on a night when you don’t have to work the next day.

_____“I’ll call the others.” She said, knowing full well I gave in. Then she was gone.

_____Damn that woman for being so important to me. I yawned getting to my feet, taking a drag from the cigarette as I walked to my closet, pulling out a pair of flared sweat pants and a sports bra. My friends were my family. I’ve known those girls since daycare. We grew up in the same projects; all came from multi-sibling, single mother families, dealt with the same bullshit, but somehow managed to rise above it all. Ronnie was a social worker, Rashida was a teacher, Steph owned her own bookstore/coffeehouse, and I worked as a personal assistant for a successful lawyer. We could have left the hood altogether, but opted to move on the edge of it all, not too far from each other and what we knew was the real world. They were my sisters. I probably wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I didn’t have them. Regardless of whatever went down, we always managed to pull together and work things out. And if we were lucky, that’s how it would always be.

_____I grabbed my car keys, slipping into my purple platform fluffy slippers (don’t even dare roll your eyes). I was still yawning on my way out the door, then stopped short when I saw myself in the hall mirror. I ran back to my bathroom and applied some lip-gloss and eyeliner before finally leaving. Don’t laugh, but even my mother said she can’t remember what I look like without makeup. Ever since I was first allowed to wear it, believe me, I always have.

_____“Yo, Felicia. When you gonna let me hit that, yo?”

_____“When your dick falls off.” I said casually as I walked down the hall to the front door of my building. No matter what time it was, there was always a group of guys just hanging around the front door.

_____“One of these days, you’re gonna realize you miss dick.” It was Walter or Moogie as his boys called him.

_____“Can’t miss what I don’t want or need.” I pushed passed him. “Don’t you guys got a job, school, someone to rob or something, I mean damn.”

_____“Why you so uptight, Felicia?” One of his boys asked. “Could be that your women ain’t doing it right? Need one of us to get the job done correctly?”

_____I stopped and stared at him as if he said the most amazing thing in the world. “You know, you’re right. What could I possibly be thinking? These chicks I fuck can’t be doing it right. I mean…it’s never right if you can actually fuck for more than ten minutes, and when you can actually do it more than once a night, and damn…I orgasm too. That’s not supposed to happen, right? Maybe I should get with one of you.” Then I winked and walked out the door.

_____“That’s fucked up, Felicia.” I heard Moogie say behind me.

_____“So is your chance of getting with me.” I sang. I had to laugh at it all. I got my share of offers of trying men, but it was never my style. No offense, but when I realized the beauty of women, I never gave it a second thought to be with a man. Although, I admit, that I’ve never been with a man, I just never had the desire to. But a woman. God, where could I begin? How a woman walks, talks, smiles, does that wink thing that makes you get the tingle in your tummy. Or how she can look at you with complete devotion, or how she moans when you make love to her, how she smells, just the feel of her. Give that up? Hell the fuck no. Women were just amazing, and I considered myself extremely honoured to be one as well.

_____But don’t think that I don’t appreciate the attempts. Shit, I was a woman after all. I love it when people take notice and compliment me. I worked hard to look as fine as I do. I wasn’t anorexic or a supermodel. I was a thick bitch and loved it. But toned all over, with heavy breasts and hips, ass, and thick legs to balance it all out. Barely five feet tall, caramel skin, large grey eyes, slender nose, and pouty lips, with naturally thick and curly, medium-length hair that I usually wore in a ponytail, but today was in thick braids, decorated with shells. I was feminine and enjoyed my femininity immensely. I usually wore dresses and skirts, and, of course, sported my wide collection of heels. My friends teased me saying that it was a miracle to them to see me able to walk in sneakers, because it was so rare. I took pride in the fact that I was ladylike. But, an average lady, I was not. Well, I may look like one, but sure enough didn’t act like one all the time. I could hang with the guys, no problem, even though I did act chicky, but I had no problem telling anyone where they could put their shit if they fucked with me, and had no problem with throwin’ down if I had to.

_____My girls were the same way. Well almost. As ballsy as we were, our personalities were different. Ronnie was the dreamer of the group. Tall, slender, coal dark skin with exotic features that showed her Ethiopian heritage. Always energetic, always on the go, always ready to tackle just about anything, and could always see the silver lining. She had this Mother Teresa way about her and wanted to save just about everyone. She wore her heart on her sleeve, which is probably why she always got caught up in some dumb-ass guy’s lines.

_____Steph was the quiet artistic one. We nicknamed her Mouse, because of how fragile she appeared and how quiet her voice was. A little taller than me, very thin, but not scarily so, and extremely light-skinned (her mother was Scandinavian). She dressed mostly in black, had her enviously long, curly, blondish-brown hair dyed black and wore dark make-up. Kinda Goth, I guess, although she fit right in with the PJs and our group. She was the cynic who always had a boyfriend, but was always extremely cautious about who she dated.

_____Rashida and I were complete opposites. She was our tomboy. Almost six-foot tall, slender but muscular, milk chocolate skin, with her hair always in cornrows. Wore only men’s clothing, aggressive as hell, acted like a guy, and honestly, probably scared a lot of guys by how tough she was. Which sometimes I thought of as a curse, because I had a weakness for studs. But she was as straight as they came. Totally loved and worshipped dick. The guys she dated were fine as hell, and she always managed to land the ones who had goals and would do just about anything for her, but she loved to play around too much.

_____They were my girls for life. We were so busy with our lives that we weren’t able to get together as often as we would like. But that’s why I had given in to coming out tonight. I knew that Ronnie would be able to talk Rashida and Mouse into coming out as well, and I wanted to hang out and forget about real life for a moment.

_____I made it to Ronnie’s in under fifteen minutes, even though I had stopped by the all-night liquor store and picked up a bottle of champagne and orange juice (I was a mimosa girl). By the time I knocked on her front door, Ronnie was already a little buzzed, holding a glass of dark liquid in one hand and a slim blunt in the other. Ronnie was the only person I knew who could make a blunt look…cute.

_____“Girl!” She gave me a big hug as I walked through the door. “Here, take this…oooh, mimosas? Fucking perfect. Rashida’s picking up Mouse and they’re on their way.”

_____I took the blunt out of her hand, heading for the kitchen. I had to walk past Ronnie’s bedroom door on my way, and I quickly glanced in as I walked by, and I could see the bare mattress hanging off the frame, and there were clothes, papers, and madd shit on the floor. Shit, girl had totally torn the room apart.

_____I took a hit from the blunt as I made myself a mimosa. “You should probably just trash bag all his shit and leave it out your front door. But call him to let him know where it is.”

_____“Yep, right after I get the locks change, my phone number changed, and find a voodoo mama to curse his ass.”

_____I laughed. “The voodoo mama sounds good though.”

_____She leaned against the doorjamb, staring at me. “Felicia…why can’t I find a good man?”

_____Oh, God. See, I can deal with you if you’re drinking. I can deal with you if you’re sad. But a sad drunk? That’s the fucking worse.

_____“You can, sweetie. You just gotta raise your standards a bit more, that’s all.”

_____“How?”

_____“Maybe only date men who have jobs could be a start.”

_____She smiled. “I can’t help but want those artistic ones who want to immerse themselves into their shit.”

_____“Then only date ones who actually make money from it.” I told her. “Ronnie, you’re asking for trouble if you date someone who can’t support himself. You’re basically becoming his mama, and you don’t want to be that.”

_____“I know, I know, I know…” She whined. “But those are always the ones with the best dick.”

_____“Sex isn’t everything.” I said. Damn, did I really say that? Must have been just for her, because if I’m with a woman who can’t fuck, we got issues.

_____“Liar.” Ronnie walked back into the living room. “A good fuck can make or break a relationship.”

_____“I know that’s the alcohol talking.” I said following her. Then there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.” I said, thanking the gods, because I didn’t want to deal with Ronnie like this on my own.

_____Rashida and Mouse both looked like they had basically crawled to Ronnie’s from their beds. Mouse was wearing sweats, her hair piled up in a simple, loose bun, still yawning, while Rashida was still wearing her pajamas with her scarf around her head, and I swear, her sleep mask high on her head.

When she saw me looking, she said, “Yes, I did, cuz if you bitches bore me, I will let my ass fall right back asleep.”

_____Mouse giggled. “She’s been complaining the entire ride here.”

_____“Hell the fuck yeah.” Rashida said walking past me, snatching the blunt from my hand. “Niggas want to call a bitch in the middle of the night, they can deal with my attitude.”

_____“At least you weren’t in the middle of something.” Mouse said.

_____“You were fucking?” I asked her.

_____“Kinda sorta.” She slipped off her coat and tossed it on a chair on her way to the kitchen. “Derrick was ready for round three when I got the call.”

_____“ROUND THREE?” The three of us asked simultaneously.

_____“God damn woman, hook my ass up with a friend of his, a brother…damn, he got a young-looking uncle?” Rashida said, making Mouse giggle from the kitchen.

_____“James could fuck like that.” Ronnie said softly as she sipped her drink.

_____Good God.

_____“You and many other chicks can testify to that obviously.” Rashida said, making Ronnie wince. But Rashida wasn’t one for mincing her words. “Girl, didn’t we tell you he was gonna do some foul shit like that? I mean, damn, when are you gonna grow up and see the red flag before you let it fuck you?”

_____“Rashida.” I said in a warning tone.

_____“No, let her talk. She’s right.” Ronnie plopped down on the sofa. “I knew in my gut he wasn’t good. But I thought I could change him.”

_____“Why do we always think that shit?” I asked, sitting on the floor, grabbing a magazine from the coffee table, as I got ready to roll a blunt myself. “We always look at these idiots thinking we can be the Love Saviour in their lives. Our love will set them right. Whateva.”

_____“Because every woman thinks she got the Golden Pussy, that’s why.” Rashida retorted. “As soon as the nigga tastes your shit and you feed his ass some good food, he’s gonna come correct. That whole, ‘If you’re good to your man, he’ll be good to you’ bullshit.”

_____“That’s not entirely wrong.” Mouse said rejoining us. She sat beside Ronnie on the sofa, sipping from her own drink. “I treat all the guys I’ve dated right and most of them treated me just as well.”

_____“But we’re talking about Idiots.” I specified.

_____“And men, might I add, Miss I-Won’t-Touch-A-Dick.” Ronnie said, gently giving my hip a kick.

_____“Don’t think that women are exempt from that shit. People are under the assumption that lesbians got it easier, cuz women are supposed to be more open, honest, or whatever with each other. Women are no better than men when it comes to dating sometimes. I’ve dated some scheming, no good bitches myself.”

_____“Oh, my God, Kara.” Ronnie suddenly said, making me cringe.

_____“Kara?” Mouse asked. “Who’s Kara?”

_____“Oh yeah, Mouse, this is when you were at that art school for the summer.” Ronnie grinned as she sat up, getting ready for her storytelling. “Miss Felicia, over here, got in with this chick---playa, let me tell you. Girl had her game on point, actin’ like she was never in love with a chick before, actin’ all innocent and sweet and shit. Whateva, girl was a straight up gigolo. Complete pro. Made Rashida look like some Amish chick, for real.”

_____I just shook my head as I continued to roll.

_____“Fuck you.” Rashida said. “I may play my men, but I support my damn self. I ain’t no gold digga.”

_____“Well,” Ronnie ignored her, “this girl was straight up trouble from the moment Felicia laid eyes on her…”

_____“At least she had a job.” I interjected.

_____Ronnie held her hand up to my face. “Whateva.” She turned to face the others. “She might have had a job, but she spent most of Felicia’s money anyway. Always had her hand out, ‘what did you get me, I need this, I need that’. Bitch was good for laying the heavy hints when she wanted Felicia to buy her shit or it was sudden problems she had with her car, or her rent, help to pay back some loan, or something that needed money fast.”

_____I felt Mouse’s look of surprise at me. “Felicia, you?”

_____I sighed. “I was weak, ok. She had that…thing.”

_____“What thing?” Mouse asked.

_____“You know that thing.” I was trying to search my mind for the correct word. “That thing that just says that they’re smooth, always in control, that you’re safe with them…they can give you that look that makes you want to drop your panties in a second.”

_____“Confidence.” Rashida said.

_____We all just nodded silently. What a woman would do for confidence in a mate.

_____“Anyways,” Ronnie continued, “this chick must have taken Felicia for about a fucking grand, no lie, before we realized she was fucking around with a couple of other bitches and having their ass support her as well.”

_____“Get out.” Mouse said.

_____“I got taken.” I said. “I’m woman enough to admit it. She said all the right things, fucked my ass till I couldn’t think straight and got what she wanted. But when I realized her shit was foul I kicked her with pleasure.”

_____“And cried for days.” Ronnie added.

_____I flipped her the finger. “Ok, so I fell for that shit hard. And yes, before any of ya’ll ask, I did get the warning feeling, and yes, I thought that I could make a difference in her life. But reality came in and opened my eyes.”

_____“Too bad it couldn’t open your eyes before you opened your legs and wallet.” Rashida said.

I could feel myself getting a little annoyed. “Fuck you, Perfection.”

“Why is it that the worst people for you are usually the ones that can fuck the best?” Mouse asked.

_____“It’s a curse.” Ronnie replied.

_____“It’s like you have to choose between someone who can be completely devoted to you and be all that you need in your life or someone who can lay your ass out correctly.” I smiled at my perfect roll, and tossed it to Rashida to light.

_____“Preach on.” Ronnie sighed as she downed her drink. “I’m actually kinda tired of having to choose.”

_____“You don’t gotta choose, you stupid bitches.” Rashida rolled her eyes. “I swear, ya’ll don’t realize the difference between what you got between your ears and your legs. The problem ya’ll got is that you don’t have patience. Every time ya’ll get interested in someone you concentrate solely on his ass and put all your chances on him. You rush into these relationships way too quick. Especially you two.” She said pointing to Ronnie and me.

_____“Why me?” I asked.

_____“Don’t forget that you practically moved Kara in like after two months of dating her. What’s that joke? ‘What do lesbians call a second date? Their honeymoon.’ The U-Haul Syndrome.”

_____Everyone broke out laughing.

_____“Oh shit.” Even I had to laugh, cuz it was so true. I saw that shit so often among my dyke friends. For some reason, as soon as a dyke finds a woman she’s interested in, she thinks she’s suddenly in love and next thing you know they are rushing so fast to make a long-term commitment together. I guess it’s cuz we felt like no one understood us for so long while we were discovering our homosexuality, that when we meet someone we like, we just want to have them in our lives forever. But it’s so bound to fail, because we sometimes never take the time to build that friendship foundation that every relationship needs. “Aight, aight, you got me on that one. I did almost move her in kinda quick.”

_____“This is what I missed for spending months in a fucking art room being bored by idiotic, monotonous, non-talented teachers?” Mouse asked still laughing. “Ya’ll are crazy.”

_____“What about Antwan?” I suddenly asked, staring directly at Rashida.

_____Her eyes narrowed as she returned my look. “What about him?” She asked, even though she knew where I was going with this.

_____“Some of us do the flip. We find good people, but let them go.”

_____Silence. Mouse passed the blunt to me, but I wouldn’t break my gaze with Rashida.

_____“Not all of us are in such a rush to the altar.” Rashida countered. “I’m young, I want to have fun. There’s no need for me to be planning to spend the rest of my life with anyone yet. And besides, we’re not discussing that shit, we’re talking about why we’re attracted to the bad boys.”

_____“And the flipside is why do the good boys bore us.” I shot back at her.

_____“They’re not exciting enough.” Ronnie piped up. “I want someone who’s willing to take risks, do some freaky shit if I want it.”

_____“So it’s all about how they fuck.” I said to her.

_____“No, it’s not.” She took the blunt from me. “I need someone who’s adventurous all around. Who’s not afraid to fucking live.”

_____“Good guys are like that too.” Mouse said. “Derrick is a good guy and he’s fun in life and bed.”

_____“You sure he doesn’t have a friend?” Ronnie asked.

_____“Fuck you bitch, I asked her first.” Rashida laughed.

_____“Is it so wrong to want a guy who can love you just as you are, emotionally support you, not be afraid that you’re independent but also wanted to be treated like a lady, and can still find the G-spot?” Ronnie was suddenly kinda melancholy.

_____“That shit is a myth.” Rashida got up and went to the kitchen. She came back with a beer in hand. “I think that’s some shit white people made up to sell those fucked-up lookin’ vibrators.”

_____“You’re a fool.” I told her. “And it does exist.”

_____Both Mouse and Ronnie’s eyes widened as they stared at me incredulously. “For real?” Mouse asked.

_____“Yes, for real.” I looked at the three of them in shock myself. “What? You guys are serious?”

_____The three of them looked suddenly embarrassed. And it was then that I realized that as much shit they all talked about loving sex and getting their shit off with the right guy and the right dick, none of them really took the time to enjoy it the way it should be…and especially learn about their own bodies. I didn’t want to think what I was thinking, but I was beginning to wonder if lesbians might have it a little better at sex than straight women because we have to explore all options sexually. Sex for us was a no questions asked “hands-first” affair. I must have been about seventeen when I realized what my G-spot was, and that was before the trend started. For me, sex was an art. I refused to let any woman leave my bed unsatisfied. So, before I even got completely active with it, I was reading all kinds of books about the female body, sexual positions, sexual styles, sexual games, etc (life for me as a teenager was interesting, believe me). By the time I was ready to be sexual my first time, I was so ready and so voracious about it; the girl I was with actually accused me of lying about my virginity.

_____But here I sat, facing my three best friends, realizing that there were parts of themselves they had no clue about. It’s so sad that even today, so many women didn’t take the time to know about their own shit.

_____“Well, yeah, it does exist.” I finally said. “I’ve had many run-ins with them.”

_____“What does it feel like?” Mouse asked. “I mean, that kind of orgasm?”

_____Suddenly, the three of them leaned in, anticipating my answer. What was this? Sex By Felicia 101? For some reason, I was finding it rather ironic that only an hour ago, Moogie and his boys were telling me that I didn’t know what I was missing, but here I was, the lesbian getting ready to teach my straight friends how to enjoy sex with their men.

_____“It’s hard to explain. It’s this…deep kinda cum.” I explained as I rose to my feet getting the champagne bottle and orange juice. I sat back down and made myself another drink, this time stronger. Both Ronnie and Mouse who had already finished their drinks held out their glasses, so I refreshed theirs as well, emptying the champagne bottle as I tried to organize my thoughts.

“Well, for me, anyway…it’s this long, drawn out cum that can last for like minutes. I was with this chick that came for like ten minutes no lie. Aftershocks and shit.” I took a sip. “And I’ve heard that some can last longer…heard a rumour that some can last up to an hour.”

“More metaphysical?” Mouse asked.

I nodded. “It can definitely feel that way.”

_____“So you know where it is?” Ronnie asked.

_____I nodded.

_____“Where?”

_____I was now feeling embarrassed. I mean, shit, these were my girls and we could get all kinds of graphic, but actually explaining to them certain parts of their bodies were another thing. I took a big gulp from my mimosa and gave a big sigh.

_____“Well…if you like…put your fingers in, right?…Your palm facing your tummy…if you push in far enough you’ll feel this bone---sometimes it’s prominent, sometimes it’s not---just kinda hook your fingers a bit and just look for a spot that’s kinda hard…”

_____“That sounds fucking painful.” Ronnie cringed, making up her face.

_____“It isn’t.” I assured her. “You’re looking for a spot that’s a bit harder or a bit more rough than the rest of your walls. That’s it.”

_____“That’s it?” Rashida asked. “Then why is it such a big deal for guys to fucking find it?”

_____“Well, it’s not the easiest spot to find to be honest. I mean, most people are either afraid to hurt a woman by pushing that far back with their hands…plus it’s not in the same exact spot for everyone woman’s body. Like mine…my bone is more prominent, and most women think they’re gonna hurt me if they touch that area. Plus if you’re taller your vaginal canal is longer…all that shit. And a guy’s dick isn’t really angled to easily find it. It’s easier if you do it doggy style.”

_____“But you’ve been able to find it on any woman?” Ronnie asked.

_____I just nodded. That was actually a little specialty of mine. I had found out that most people don’t go that far so quick, because the orgasm could be so intense, but hell…I’ll work my way up to it, but you’re gonna get the full shebang when you’re with me. And I had no problem with taking the time to pleasurably explore a woman’s pussy and find it. “Sometimes people get hung up on not wanting to look like they don’t know what they’re doing when they’re between a woman’s legs for the first time, but shit, not every woman is built the same, you need to take the time to familiarize yourself with her body before you can really get her rocks off.”

_____I could see they were all deep in thought and it just made me take another gulp, wondering why the fuck I had to be woken out of bed for this? Oh, Missy, I’ll return to you soon.

_____“Show me.” Ronnie suddenly said.

_____We all turned to look at her as if she had sprouted another head. Fuck, she might as well have.

_____“What?” I asked.

_____“Show me.” A grin was appearing on her face. “Dammit, it’s about time I know where my shit is.”

_____“I’ll buy you a book.” I said starting to chuckle at what must be her funniest joke yet.

_____She took a hit from the blunt, then passed it to Rashida. “I don’t want a friggin’ book, Felicia. I want you to show me yourself.”

_____“No more weed for you.” Rashida told her, looking as astonished as I felt.

_____“Definitely no more drinking.” Mouse took Ronnie’s glass away from her.

_____“I am not saying this cuz I’m high or drunk, you guys.” Ronnie rolled her eyes. “It’s an honest and simple request. Might as well get the person who actually knows what she’s talking about to show me. Who else could I fucking trust more? What’s wrong with that?”

_____“Um, for starters, I’m your friend.” I said to her. “Friends don’t usually let friends check out their shit like that.”

_____“Truly.” Rashida muttered.

_____“Oh come off it, Rashida, it’s not like you’re not curious about Felicia anyway.”

_____Silence. Heavy, heavy, silence. My eyes shifted to Rashida’s face and even though she was looking stone serious at Ronnie, I could tell that Ronnie wasn’t talking out of her ass. Oh fuck, don’t tell me that Rashida was interested in me.

_____“You’re drunk.” I said to Ronnie as I got to my feet, holding my hand out to her. “You’ve had a rough night and you’re mind is a little fucked. You should lay down.” I was hoping to gloss over what she said, so that Rashida would think I didn’t believe Ronnie.

_____“I am not drunk.” Ronnie turned to look at Rashida square in the eye. “Come on, admit it, Rashida. You told me not too long ago that you were curious what it would be like to fuck Felicia at least once.”

_____“Sweet Jesus.” Mouse finally spoke. “Ronnie cut that shit out.”

_____“What is wrong with you all?” Ronnie asked. “Am I the only one who’s willing to admit that I’m curious what it would be like to have sex with another woman? I ain’t saying my ass is gay, I love my dick and men, but shit, it’s fucking natural.”

_____“She’s right.” Rashida said suddenly.

_____The three of us turned to look at her.

_____Rashida stared boldly at me. “No point in lying. Ya’ll are my best friends, right? Yeah, so what, I’m curious what it would be like to fuck you.”

_____“Ya’ll are losing your minds.” I said as I nervously fished a cigarette out of my pocket. I lit it, sitting down on the floor again. “This is the last time we all get high and drunk like this, cuz ya’ll bitches are acting crazy.”

_____“It is natural.” Mouse said softly.

_____“Oh, Mouse not you too.” I whined.

_____“What?” She shrugged. “I think every heterosexual woman does wonder at least once what it would be like to have sex with another woman. I mean, who knows a woman’s body better than another woman, right?”

_____“Exactly.” Ronnie said, her grin returning.

_____“You mean to tell me that all of you bitches have been wondering about it and never said anything to me before?” I asked.

_____“It’s not something that everyone just announces.” Mouse said.

_____“Unlike some people.” Rashida said glaring at Ronnie.

_____Ronnie ignored her. “So back to my original question. Will you?”

_____“Hells no.” I said, puffing hard. Yes, puffing hard. Cuz even though I was saying no, my pussy was screaming yes. All I could think of was the many times I had seen Ronnie in various stages of undress. Fuck…I’ve seen her naked countless times. Granted, yes, she was way too skinny for my taste, but still attractive. The thought of climbing between those long, dark legs was way too tempting. But hell, she was my friend. One of my best friends. I’ve known her practically since diapers. That would be like some incestuous type shit that I didn’t want to deal with.

_____“Felicia.” Ronnie sat beside me on the floor. “It’s not like I’m asking you to date me or marry me. Hell, I’m asking you to fuck me. To show me how good sex can be.”

_____How many straight men hated me with envy right now, I wondered.

_____The tension in the air was so damn thick. I could feel Rashida and Mouse were waiting for my answer. And then it struck me that I had been silent. I hadn’t given her a quick no like before. Oh damn, don’t tell me I was actually contemplating it.

_____“Nah.” I finally said. “It would be too complicated. I mean, shit, we’re friends. When you mix friends and sex, shit just gets out of whack. Nah.”

_____“Not if you set rules.” Mouse declared.

_____“What rules?” Ronnie asked.

_____Mouse scooted closer to us and Rashida soon followed. The four of us were facing each other, and it reminded me of when we used to have sleepovers and form a circle to make pacts and tell stories when we were kids.

_____But we weren’t children anymore, and this was much different.

_____“Well,” Mouse began. “First, no emotions involved. I mean, you’re gonna get emotional because we’re friends and shit, but none of that lovedovey shit. Our friendship is too important to fuck it up with all that.”

_____“Hello?” I said waving my hand. “Fucking would fuck up our friendship.”

_____“Not if we think before we do it.” Mouse said.

_____“Hold up. We?” Ronnie asked.

_____Mouse smiled widely. “A foursome.”

_____“What the fuck?” I started to laugh out of nervousness. “Ya’ll are trippin’.”

_____Rashida was now starting to nod. “I think we should do it.”

_____“WHAT?” See, if Rashida gave in, then I basically lost all hopes of talking Mouse and Ronnie out of this stupid idea. They wouldn’t be able to see it for the idiocy that it was.

_____“How many chances do you get at something like this, with people you actually trust?” Rashida said calmly. Too calmly. The look in her eyes told me she might have been thinking about this for quite some time.

Things started to click in my head suddenly. How Ronnie had said that Rashida had told her this a while ago. For some reason, looking at the two of them made me wonder if the idea of a group thing wasn’t as sudden as it was today. I honestly didn’t think Mouse would have been part of it, cuz she had reacted just as surprised as I was, but she genuinely was a sexual freak and wouldn’t balk at the idea, so that didn’t surprise me too much. But dammit, this was all popping off a bit too smoothly.

And then I started to wonder what it would be like to do it. I mean, all of them were sexy in their own right…Ronnie was so damn exotic looking, Rashida had that aggressiveness that I totally craved, and Mouse’s innocent look was appealing just as well. Damn, damn, damn, Felicia, you’re thinking of fucking your friends, what is wrong with you?

“What if you’re wrong?” I forced myself to say. “What if it does fuck us over?”

“It won’t.” Ronnie said firmly. “We’re too tight for that shit.”

I just sighed, hating the fact that I was already undressing her in my mind. All of them actually. My pussy was literally leaking and I could feel the crotch of my pants were already damp. “I don’t know…”

“Are you gonna tell me that you’ve never thought about me like that? Never?” Ronnie asked. I was suddenly aware that her hand was now resting on my thigh…feeling so damn hot, even through the fabric of my pants. She had long, slim fingers and I was wondering how they would feel twirling inside me.

Felicia, you’re gonna lose if you don’t do something.

_____“Well, I ain’t sayin’ that, I’m sayin’…”

_____“What about Mouse?” Ronnie’s hand was now on my arm. Her voice had lowered a bit, more seductive, and I was wondering if James had wanted to fuck her as soon as she got all seductive on him, cuz goodness knows that’s what I was thinking.

_____“Ya’ll can’t do this…”

_____“We KNOW you want Rashida. She is just like the girls you date.” Ronnie’s face was coming closer to me and I could feel her breath against my skin, and it sent shivers down my spine.

_____“This is some serious shit,” I said, already feeling breathless, my body aching to be touched, wondering how long had it been since it had. “If we do this, we can’t erase it and we can’t turn back.”

“Felicia, don’t worry we know.” Mouse’s voice was a bit more forceful than usual, laced with lust and I knew I was so gonna lose.

As Ronnie’s soft hand crept up to my shoulder, out of the corner of my eye, I watched Rashida give a slight nod to the others. Suddenly, Ronnie’s lips were on my neck, and I let out a groan, just as Mouse started pulling the string on my sweat pants.

It all happened so fast, that even if I wanted it to stop I wasn’t sure if I could have. My hips automatically lifted as Mouse pulled my sweat pants off my legs, while Ronnie let go of my neck long enough to hold my arms up as Rashida pulled my sports bra up and off, leaving me completely naked. My head was sorta swimming with the mimosa and weed, but not enough that I didn’t know what was going on. I lay back on the floor as I watched Ronnie quickly shed her clothes and lean over me, as our lips touched. Oh God, her lips were softer than I could have ever imagined. I greedily sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, my hands reaching up to the back of her head, keeping her face to mine.

I felt my legs being spread, and I could see a now naked Mouse and Rashida kissing as Rashida’s fingers started exploring me. I moaned into Ronnie’s mouth as one of Rashida’s fingers slipped inside my already wet pussy, and in the back of my mind I wondered how long Rashida had wanted to do this…and God damn, how did she know to finger a pussy so fucking well? My hips were already rising to meet her thrusting hand, and she quickly slid another finger inside me. Ronnie’s lips left mine, and she winked as she lowered her head, pulling one of my hardened nipples into her warm mouth, making me literally sigh.

It was so hard to not let myself relax and close my eyes, relishing in all the new sensations my body was going through, but I had to keep my eyes open so I could take in all that was going on. I had fantasized about group sex often, but never thought it would really pop off, let alone with my three best friends. As Ronnie was sucking on my nipple, her other hand was squeezing my other breast as she moaned softly. The reason she was moaning was because Mouse had stopped kissing Rashida, and was now fingering Ronnie just like Rashida was doing to me.

Damn Rashida was good. I let my legs fall farther apart and our eyes met for the most intense gaze I had ever experience in my life. And suddenly, no lie, I just wanted to tear her apart.

I looked over at Ronnie, and as much as she was enjoying sucking on my nipple, I could tell that Mouse was distracting her so much by what she was doing. I slowly slid away from her, getting to my knees, facing Rashida. We both stared at each other for a moment, before I just grabbed her by the head, pulling her face to mine. As soon as our lips met, I could feel her shudder. It was such a strange experience for me, because normally I am so passive with studs, but something about Rashida just made me want to literally take over and turn her ass out.

And that is exactly what I was doing. I forced my lips away, long enough to kiss her chin before asking, “You sure?”

She just nodded quickly, unfolding her legs, spreading them for me. I let my fingers find her pussy, and I was a bit taken aback by the fact that she was shaved. But I smiled my approval as I felt her smooth skin. I was intently watching her face as her eyes half-closed. I gently pushed two fingers inside her and she literally whimpered. Her pussy was sweet as hell to touch. Despite her talk of needing to fuck all the time, her pussy was surprisingly tight, gripping my fingers with such intense heat I felt I could literally burn. I kissed Rashida’s lips again, before kissing my way to the curve of her neck, licking her salty skin, letting my teeth gently nip at her. I heard her softly whine as I started to suck, relishing in the feeling of this woman who was so damn hard and aggressive to everyone, but was like putty in my hands. I bared my teeth, biting down on her skin and she hissed, her hand shooting out to hold my head, practically pressing my face more into her neck.

“Yes…” She softly groaned.

Damn I wanted her. So, so, so much. I gently pulled my fingers out of her pussy, and no fucking lie, Rashida literally whined her disappointment. And for some reason that just made me so much hotter for her. Our eyes met again as I pulled my face away, and not breaking the gaze, I took a hold of her knees forcefully spreading her legs wider and I could see her tremble. We still held the gaze as I settled between her legs, only breaking when I finally needed to look at her pussy.

Have you ever had a pussy in front of you that just looked amazingly beautiful? I mean, I’ve come across some beautiful pussies before, but Rashida’s was just exquisite. I’ve never seen the girl completely naked before, and she always favoured baggy clothing, but now that all that was gone, I realized that she wasn’t as slender as I thought she was. True, she was smaller than me, and muscular, but from the hips down, the girl was stacked. Her thighs were sweet and thick, leading up to her pussy that I could only call sweetly fleshy. I reached up, touching the bare skin carefully, feeling how satiny smooth it was, thinking that I so needed to do the same to mine.

Rashida’s lips were swollen, already parted and revealing her hard clit. Now, her clit was a sight in itself. Large. And when I mean large, I mean that it had to be at least an inch long and thick as hell, literally protruding from her lips as it hardened even more. As soon as the tip of my finger touched it, Rashida jumped. And don’t you know, that just made me grin to myself, knowing I was in for a treat.

I stroked her clit with the tip of my finger for a little bit, feeling her frustration build. I felt her raise her hands to my head, but I pulled away.

“Hands down.” I said sternly. And to my amazement, she really did let them drop, settling for writhing her hips in complaint instead.

I decided to stop torturing her and I kissed her lips, gently licking each from the hood, down to her the swell of her ass. I did this for a while, until she was whimpering louder, and I knew she needed it. Suddenly, I pulled her clit into my mouth, sucking hard, and Rashida groaned so loudly, that, out the corner of my eye, I saw Mouse and Ronnie stop whatever they were doing.

“Oh fuck.” I heard Ronnie say softly. She crawled over to where we were, sitting beside Rashida’s head. I watched her reach out and stroke Rashida’s nipples softly. “How does it feel?”

“Fucking good.” Rashida panted. I released her clit, letting my tongue bathe it for a while, feeling her body shake. She lifted her hips, trying to get more of my mouth on her, but I wasn’t having any of that.

“Hold her down.” I said to Ronnie and Mouse, as I pushed Rashida’s legs high in the air, watching her pussy spread wider for me.

Ronnie gave a wicked smile as she took hold of one of Rashida’s hands, holding it down by the wrist, and took one of her legs, holding it by the back of her knee. Mouse did the same on her side. Rashida was now completely restrained by the two of them, leaving me free reign of her spread pussy. I let my mouth attack her pussy, sucking on her clit for a bit to drive her a little crazy, before letting my tongue slide down to her hole. I slid it in as deep as I could go, and Rashida was now crying out.

“Oh God, Felicia, yes!” She tried to buck her hips, but Mouse and Ronnie had a good hold on her and she could only budge just a bit. I pulled my tongue out, now just wanting to enjoy the taste of her. And I let myself have my fun as I just explored every inch of her pussy with my tongue, feeling her jump and wriggle beneath me, and immensely enjoying the fact that the others were here to restrain her. I was so getting off on the fact that they were watching, that I suddenly had an idea. I quickly pushed two fingers in her, making her cry out again, pumping her for a little bit before pulling it away.

I had to force my mouth away form her sweet-tasting pussy as I rose to my knees. I winked at Rashida as I seductively licked one of my fingers, then I held one out to Mouse and to my surprise she sucked the finger deep into her mouth, licking off all of Rashida’s juices. I did the same to Ronnie, who made a bigger production by sticking her long tongue all the way out and lavishly licking my finger, and I felt my clit throb. Damn, my friends were some serious freaks. Thank the gods.

“Ladies,” I said, smiling, “you wanted to know how to find the G-spot, correct?”

“Oh God.” Rashida whispered.

“Oh fuck yeah!” Ronnie said.

“You don’t mind being the guinea pig, do you, darlin?” I teasingly asked Rashida.

“Fuck you.” She said half-joking, but I could see how excited she was by it.

“Oh, don’t worry, I will.” I promised, her. Then I cleared my throat. “Ladies, you can let her go now. Sit at her feet.”

Mouse and Ronnie gently let go of Rashida, resting her limbs back on the floor, and crawled to sit a foot away from feet. I moved to sit at Rashida’s hip. I leaned over, sucking her nipple into my mouth, gently nibbling, making her moan. I wanted to make sure she was definitely turned on and ready for this.

“Now,” I began, holding my right hand in the air, “you can come at it from whatever angle you like…the one thing you have to remember is that your palm has to be facing her tummy.” I stretched out beside Rashida, spreading her legs wide and lifting her right leg, settling it over my hip, so that she was spread widely for the others. For a brief moment I wondered how she would feel being exhibited this way, but then I banished the thought, remembering how the three of them had practically jumped me. Damn, this was gonna be sweet.

I rubbed her bare pussy for a moment with the palm of my hand, feeling her hump up to meet my touch. I would occasionally suck on her nipple, teasing the tip with my tongue. When I was ready, I slid two fingers into her now soaking wet pussy, listening to her juices---a sound that always drove me wild. Her pussy quickly tightened on my fingers, and I had a fleeting thought of literally just fucking the hell out of her. But no, I had a class to teach.

“You have to be really, really careful as you push in, because you want to make sure that she is completely comfortable. Too much pressure or friction can make her tense up and she won’t enjoy it as much.” I pushed my fingers in deeper, gently rotating my fingers as I did so. “I, personally, like to rotate my fingers, putting pressure on all sides of the pussy walls. It’ll get her more excited and wet, which is exactly what you want. It’ll make it more comfortable for you to get as deep inside her as you can.”

Rashida was panting beneath me, her eyes clamped shut, biting on her bottom lip rather hard.

“Now, a few inches in, you’re going to feel a bit hardness…that will be the pubic bone. Don’t afraid of it, just gently go by it, hooking your fingers just a bit around it. As soon as you hook your fingers, your fingertips will touch more flesh…and just a teensy bit farther should be a little mound that feels different from the rest of the walls.”

As I was talking, I was doing. And as luck would have it, Rashida’s spot was right where I said it would be. The spot had a slight differ of texture from the rest of her pussy walls, and as soon as I touched it, Rashida literally jumped up, her hips lifting from the floor. I was prepared for this and backed off just a bit, letting her relax.

“What the fuck?” She breathed. “What was that?”

“Shhh.” I said, kissing her tummy. “Just enjoy it.” I touched it again, rotating my fingers slightly so that I was gently rubbing it at a steady pace.

“Oh God.” Rashida sighed.

“Sometimes it’ll be too intense if you keep pressure on it, so you’ll have to kinda tap it a bit steadily so that she’ll get used to being touched there.” Rashida was writhing on the floor, every time my fingers bumped into her spot, her whole body would tense up and she’d moan. “But don’t be afraid to keep at it, eventually her body will get used to it.”

Mouse and Ronnie’s eyes were so wide with shock that I wanted to laugh, but I forced myself to stay sober. They sat like obedient students, eyes glued to Rashida’s body and how it was responding to what I was doing to her.

“Eventually…” I gave her nipple a few hard licks, “you should start stimulating the rest of her body, especially her breasts. It’ll be more pleasurable for her, and just kinda bring the whole body into it, not just her pussy. Plus, you’ll be more of an attentive lover that way.”

It struck me right then that I was seriously teaching them as if they were going to start fucking women after we were done. But who cared…at least by the end, they’d each know how to please a woman’s body a new way, in turn, pleasing their own, and maybe it would help them to help their men in pleasing them.

I was starting to gently pump Rashida’s pussy now, my fingers bumping into her spot more and she was bucking her hips more now, her groaning changing into a low growl, and if I didn’t know better, she was gonna cum soon. I had never been with a woman who could respond so quickly to it, which was somewhat of a disappointment because I loved drawn out sex sessions. But watching Rashida’s body getting ready for it made up for it. She was biting her lip harder trying to keep her moaning to a minimum, but she was failing. Her soft growling became louder and louder, and I could feel her pussy contracting on my fingers, gripping so tight that I felt she’d be able to break my fingers in half.

“Felicia…” She panted. “Oh, my fucking God, Felicia…”

I leaned up and kissed her gently on the lips, “Let go, Rashida. Just let go.”

She was now thrashing on the floor, her hips meeting my thrusts with such strength, I was afraid she was going to hurt herself. But she knew what she was doing…I hoped.

“It’s gonna come.” She said suddenly. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, OH FUCK!” She let out this primal animalistic sound, as her entire body tensed for a moment before she shook. I was still pumping her pussy, stroking the hell out of her spot, when I felt the sudden warmth of her cum on my hand. But then the warmth was coming at such a great speed, I slowly pulled my hand away, and it was as if I had removed a dam, because cum literally poured out of her pussy, saturating Ronnie’s carpet.

“Oh God, oh, God, oh God…” She was still writhing on the floor, and I moved, pulling her in my arms, holding her close. Rashida immediately turned her face, pressing it into my chest, kinda hiding herself as she just trembled in my arms. I knew that this kind of orgasm could so drain you mentally and emotionally, and being held was extremely important. I watched as Ronnie and Mouse just stared in amazement at what they had just witnessed. I could tell that they truly never thought you could achieve an orgasm like that.

_____After about ten or so minutes, I was still holding Rashida, and her body had finally stopped trembling. She lifted her eyes to look at me, and I could see the depth of her vulnerability, which made me worry somewhat.

_____“If you ever do that to me again, I’ll kick your ass.” She said softly.

_____I smirked. “I’d like to see you try.” Before I could stop myself, I stole one last kiss, not sure if I’d ever get the chance to do it again.

_____“You ok, Rashida?” Ronnie asked.

_____Rashida nodded as she slowly sat up, still visibly shaken, but ok. “Good fucking God, that was the most intense shit in the world.”

_____‘What did it feel like?” Mouse asked.

_____Rashida just shook her head. “You just gotta experience it, yo, for real.”

_____Mouse turned to me, a sweet smile on her face.

_____“You serious?” I asked.

_____She nodded anxiously, scooting below me, spreading her slim legs wide. “You only live once.”

_____Rashida just nodded, “Well, Dr. Felicia, looks like you got a long night ahead of ya, huh?”

_____I just smiled before lowering her lips to Mouse’s pussy. “Bring it on.”

_____It must have been a little after nine o’clock when we finally fell away exhausted. I had done my duty, bringing each off them off. I managed to get my lips on Rashida’s body again in a sixty-nine, while I taught her to eat pussy. I have to admit that as a beginner she had madd skills that just drove me crazy. I loved the feel of her tongue inside me, and the way she greedily devoured my entire pussy with just her lips alone almost sent me over the edge.

_____That afternoon when we woke up, getting dressed was a funny routine because we made fun of each other, stealing each other’s clothes, running around Ronnie’s house, acting like children really; our vibe really relaxed and chill, much to my relief. Around four in the afternoon, we ended up finally leaving Ronnie’s. Mouse was still in the house getting her shit together, and Rashida and I were walking to our cars.

_____“I’ll catch up with ya’ll later.” I said as I opened my car door, knowing that as soon as I got home I was just gonna crawl into my bed.

_____“When our schedules permit.” Rashida laughed. She leaned against her car, facing mine, staring at me intently.

_____“What?” I asked as I fished a cigarette out of my pocket.

_____Rashida produced a lighter, lighting my cigarette for me. “Nothing, still feeling kinda…you know. Enlightened.”

_____We both broke out laughing. “Fuck you.” I said.

_____She winked. “Been there, done that.”

_____“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I took a drag now watching her. “Admit that ya’ll planned that shit.”

_____She chuckled, remaining silent. But she finally sighed. “Aight, aight. Yeah, Ronnie and I had talked about it a few times, thinking it would be cool. But I honestly wasn’t sure if we’d ever really do it.”

_____I just shook my head. “Assholes, all of you.”

_____“Like you didn’t enjoy it.” She said.

_____“Fuck yeah I did. Who wouldn’t?” I finally got into my car, starting it. Mouse was now coming out of the building, and she waved to me as she got in the passenger side of Rashida’s car.

_____“So you now gonna teach your men how to do it right?” I asked them both, laughing.

_____They both flipped me the finger. I returned the loving gesture as I backed my car out of my spot. As I drove home, even though I knew it would be the only time the four of us would do anything like that again, I couldn’t help but think that the first class of Sex by Felicia 101 was a complete success.

_____But it truly was a good experience, and I could tell that everyone felt chill about it. We just chalked it up to one night that four friends just decided to get buck wild and go crazy. And as the years passed, we’d bring it up occasionally, able to wistfully remember how exciting it was and laugh our asses off at the funny faces that we all made as we orgasmed or how much they freaked me out when they first brought the idea up. No matter how much our lives have changed, we’ll each remember that night in our own special way, and know that somehow, amazingly, it brought us to a new level of our friendship…much closer, that’s for sure.

_____And during those conversations, my eyes would always rise and end up locking with Rashida’s, who in turn, would just give me a knowing smile that only she and I could understand. She would later admit to me that she had never let anyone touch her that way after I had. I would always be the one and only person to see her in that vulnerable state, and she was comfortable with that. And that only made me wonder if she was really happy with being with men if she couldn’t let herself be that comfortable with them, but in truth, she really was happy and content. She just had her image that she loved…she’d always be hard…always the tough tomboy.

_____But for that one moment, I was the one she let hold all the cards and she was no longer hard. And she was ok with letting me see that…because I was her friend. And who else to let you see you at your most vulnerable than your friend?

The End

Copyright © 2002. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.



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