_____How can I sit in a room full of people and still
feel lonely? I come here with my partner Kevin, three to four times a week. I laugh and make
small talk but, I know I am not really there. I never did like the bars and nightclubs. I've known
Kevin for six years. We went through the Police Academy together. I've watched this guy put his
moves on some many gorgeous women and I've watched as they all thought that they would be
the one that would make Kevin give up his lifetime membership in the Playa's Club. Kevin and I
always got along well. He was like the brother I never had. When I told Kevin I was a lesbian he
stated "That's cool there's plenty of ladies out here to go around. Hell, I might even give you
some of my seconds." That was six years ago. We did our probationary period in the same
district and even went into the same specialized unit.
_____So, here I sit at 12:30A.M. and watch as Kev is about to
talk this fine young female out the bar and straight into his bedroom. Now, I know what you are
thinking. What the hell is a lesbian doing in a straight bar and why don't I have my legs wrapped
around a fine young female? Well, to be honest if I go home my house is empty and there are just
too many memories. If I sit here long enough my mind will go numb and when I do go home just
maybe I can cry myself to sleep. The alternative to crying myself sleep to is to lay awake and
dream about what was and what could have been.
_____"Hey, Selena nice job tonight. When you get tired of
carrying that no good, so called partner of your give me a call we could use you in Intel."
_____"Aw, that's bullshit Mike! You guy in Intelligence could use
anyone that doesn't carry around their own supply of oxygen and Viagra."
_____Kevin turns to me and says, "Selena, Jackie and I are about
to cut out. You okay with that?"
_____"Yeah, I am good."
_____"Oh damn Selena, Kay just walked in I'm out of here,
_____I turn my back away from the door and I hoped she didn't
see. The last thing I need tonight was to hear another Kay Kilpatrick lecture on the do's and don't
of good police work. I love Kay. She trained Kevin and me. But Kay is Rachel's sister and she
thinks that gives her some right to mettle in my life.
_____"What the hell do you think you are doing, Selena?"
_____"Sitting at the bar, Kay. How are you?"
_____"Don't be funny with me, Selena I'm not in the mood for so
_____"Kay, calm down. That kid was not going to shoot anyone.
I assessed the situation and made a sound decision and everything worked out for the best."
_____"You're taking too many chances. I think you want to join
Rachel in an early grave. You should seek counseling."
_____I got up and headed for the door. Kay followed me out into
the cool night air. I wish she would leave me alone. I know she means well but I am tired and
her lecture is the last thing I needed.
"You're right Kay. I've thought about it. I'm lucky if I get out of bed and make it to work."
_____"Let me help you, Selena."
_____"Okay, I'll call you tomorrow."
_____"You said that last week."
_____"Enough Kay! Get-off my back!" I turned and walked to
my car. I can remember a time when Kay, Rachel and I spent hours talking, laughing and feeling
the love of good friendship. It was Kay who introduced me to Rachel when she moved to
Kay was having a birthday bash at Billie's. Billie's was and still is a local hangout for your men
and women in blue. Billie's was always good to the police, giving them a discount on the bar bill.
The music was good and the dance floor was big enough for a stepper's contest every other
Saturday. The only drawback of Billie's for this black lesbian was that it was strictly straight.
Kay and Kevin were the only ones I came "out" to in my early years on the force. I, for the most
part have been involved in a series of "non-relationships." I was not opposed to the idea of
having "fuck buddies". Although at times I felt like my bedroom was becoming a revolving
_____I showed up at Billie's after work and I fully expected to go
home by myself. As soon as I walked in I saw this young woman sitting at a table with about five
guys sitting there, each of them hoping and praying that this honey was going to grace his bed
tonight. I don't much blame the guys. She had a Carmel complexion, soft brown eyes, pouty lips
and she was thick in all the right places. I swear I was getting wet just watching her.
_____"Hey Selena." Kay called out my name. "Come over here."
I walked past "Ms. Thang" thinking someone must be a damn fool for letting her out
_____I hugged Kay. "Girl, what took you so long? You've
missed half the party."
_____"Sorry, I got hung up at work."
_____"You sure it was work?" Kay says with a smirk. I handed
Kay her present and wished her a Happy Birthday. I watched with intense curiosity as Ms. Thang
got up from her throne. She walked over to where Kay and I were standing and lock arms with
Kay and whispered something in her ear. Suddenly I was jealous and wished I was her ear.
_____"Selena, this is my sister Rachel. She just moved here."
_____Rachael smiled and stuck out her hand. Even her hand was
smooth to the touch and I wondered if she felt velvety all over. Kay headed for the dance floor
and I sat down at the nearest table. Rachael sat down opposite me.
_____"I think your fan club is disappointed that you left them high
_____"I guess they'll just have to get over it. I'm sure they don't
think that Kay would let me leave here with one of them. Kay has already told me a thousand
times on the way here tonight that the police are notorious liars and womanizers."
_____"Well, I am sure Kay has good intentions but, her
perspective made be skewed. However, I'm sure that an intelligent woman such yourself will
assess the situation and come to your own conclusion."
_____"I'll hold my opinion for later on. Maybe we can discuss
this again when I've been here a while."
_____Rachael and I talked most of the night away about her work
and career goals. She spent a lot of time on the dance floor. Every unattached guy in the place
had a least one dance.
_____Between dances I learned that she was an avid runner. So
we made plans to go running. Kay was having good time and had no intentions of leaving so
Rachael asked me to walk her to her car. Now as far as a night out goes I know this is tame.
Rachael was a good conversationalist and a good listener. That combination is rare today. So, as
I drove home I didn't regret the fact that I was going home alone.
_____ I've got her left nipple in mouth and I'm biting-sucking on it
like it's the sweetest Georgia Peach I've ever tasted. There are moans and sighs of ecstasy coming
my Georgia Peach as she is pleading "Oh, Selena baby don't stop. That feels sooo good baby."
My left hand inches closer to her creamy center and then the doorbell rings and rings. Now Ms.
Peach is saying "Baby, don't you think you should answer the door?" So, I tear my mouth away
from her hard nipple and reply, "hell no baby girl this is just a dream that door bell is not ringing
for real." With that spoken my Georgia Peach and her jutting nipples and creamy center are gone
and I wake up pissed off!
_____"Damn, I didn't get her name." When I realized that my
doorbell was ringing I grabbed my robe and rushed to the door. If this was Kevin leaning on my
door, I'm going to kick his....... I throw open the door only to fine Rachael standing there.
_____"Rachel, what are, is something wrong?"
_____"Wrong? No, there's nothing wrong. Why aren't you dress
_____"Dress? Dress for what?"
_____"Well, girlfriend I didn't think you was drinking last night.
Are you going to invite me in or do we have this conversation with me standing outside your
_____"Oh, no of course come in. What time is it?"
_____"It's 6:30 A.M. and you promised me last night that you
would go running with me."
_____"Well, I remember that conversation only I don't think I
understood it to be this morning I thought you meant sometime in the future not today?"
_____"If it's going to be a problem... Oh, I didn't disturb you did
I? Do you have a guest? We could do this some other time if you?" Her eyes darted from the
foyer to the great room as if she expected to find someone standing there.
_____"No, I don't have a guest and it's no problem. Make
yourself at home I'll put on my running clothes and we can go to Asher Park."
_____As I turned and headed back to my bedroom I had to laugh
at myself. Yeah, I had an imaginary guest and if my best friend 's kid sister had the decency not to
wake me I would've had her creamy center too.
_____I changed and found Rachael in my great room looking at
the photographs I've taken over years. "Well, I'm ready if you are Rachael?"
_____"Sure I'm ready. Did you take these photos? You really
have a gift for capturing a persons feelings."
_____"Yeah I took them. It's my way of unwinding and getting
back into me."
_____"What do you mean by that?"
_____"It's hard to explain. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometimes.
Well, lets go before Asher Park get too crowded."
_____ We stepped outside and although it was only 6:45 A.M. I
could feel the heat and humidity rise off the concrete and slap me in the face. We drove to Asher
Park in Rachael's BMW. I didn't talk much on the way to the Park for two reasons. One being
that I really wasn't a morning person and the second being that the Rachael drove like a damn
fool! In fact Rachael's driving ability was more terrorizing then Kay's driving and that's saying a
lot. As Rachael slipped the Z3 into a parking slot she looked at me with a smirk and said, "I hope
I didn't frighten you, did I?" At that moment I wanted to say something frank but, the only thing
that I could manage to say was a weak "nope." Rachael laughed as she got out the car. I
watched her walk over to the grass and I wondered if at 34 I was that reckless. It amazed me
that at 37 years of age I was now fearful at taking an S curve at 95 MPH. We stretched and
started our run. An hour later we hand run five and a half miles. During that time Rachael talked
about her job, her ambitions, and growing up with Kay. I mostly listen because the kid was
running at a pace that kept me mostly gasping for air. This went on for months. We would either
meet at the park or take turns picking each other up. I started to feel like we were becoming
friends and I found Rachael easy to talk to. We would go to lunch or dinner at least two to three
times a month.
_____ One night at work Kevin said to me "What's up with you
_____"She's a good kid. I like her."
_____"I know you like her. What I want to know is if you have
done her yet?"
_____"Kevin, what the hell are you talking about, Rachael's Kay's
_____"Your point is?"
_____"My point is, she's Kay' sister and I not going to go
_____"Selena, it's me Kevin, your road dog. I've seen you drop
off one woman at her house and an hour later meet her sister for brunch. Who the hell do you
think you're fooling?"
_____"That's different. I wasn't a friend with either one of those
women. Besides Kay's my best friend I wouldn't do anything to hurt that relationship."
_____"I know you Selena and I know you've thought about
_____"Shut up Kevin and drive. Besides, Rachael has never as
much as hinted that she's attracted to me or any other woman. So don't go there."
_____"Straight or lesbian that never seem to matter to you before.
I've caught a lot of so called straight sisters sneaking out of your back door."
_____"Shut up and drive. We need a couple of heads before our
shift is over or you can explain to the Sergeant what we've been doing all night."
_____ In the back of my mind I had to wonder if what Kevin
was saying had some truth in it. Not on Rachael's part but, on mine. I looked back over the past
few months and wonder it maybe I was trying to maneuver her into my bedroom. She definitely
was attractive, intelligent and Kay's sister. I decided that Kevin was off the mark on this one.
_____That night after work, I stopped off a Misty G's. Misty is
the typical lesbian hang out. Usually everyone knows everyone else and everyone likes to stick
their nose in everyone else's business. When someone new comes in , that's when the misbehaving
starts to the nth degree. I got there around midnight and looked around the crowded room and
realized that this place was getting old and that maybe I should find a new hangout. As I walked
over to the bar I counted at least ten women that I have been "with" in the past. Most were
one-night stands and none lasted over two weeks. After ten days I tended to get restless and
bored. I thought to myself I've got to change my bad behavior. This was not news to me. I've
sensed for some time now that I was getting too old to live the playa's life and I wanted to find
someone to settle down with. But my record in the relationship department was dismal and at last
count meaningless relationships 10 the real thing 0. I slid into an empty chair at the bar.
Charlene owns Misty and tends bar sometime. Charlene is a retired cop. Charlene walked over
and set my usual, Cranberry and O.J. on the bar and asked, "How are things going Selena?"
_____"Same as usual C, different day, same shit." Charlene
laughed. Charlene always asked me the same thing and I always replied the same way. She
always laughed, it made me wonder if she was hitting something stronger than whiskey behind the
_____"So, how's the crowd tonight, C?"
_____"There's a cutie in the back shooting some eight-ball. If you
go back there take a bucket of ice because she on fire."
_____I grabbed my drink and headed towards the back. As I got
closer, I could see that the room was full of on-lookers. I squeezed passed a couple of women
blocking the door and was immediately engulfed in the heat radiating off of the woman bent over
the pool table contemplating her next shot. What a sight to behold. She was wearing a red
leather skirt, riding thigh high, a leather jacket, matching heels and stockings. Her hips gently
bounced up and down while her right hand gripped the handle of the cue and the fingers of her left
hand curled around the stick. Before I realized it, I said out loud "Damn!" Immediately every
woman in the room turned and looked at me. The beauty in red turned away from the pool table
and glared at me. Her complexion was a deep chocolate, her skin flawless, her lips were begging
to be sucked and her eyes were full with fire that I'm sure could and had said, "Fuck me."
However, at this particular moment they were saying, "Shut the hell up."
_____I raised my arms in the air and mouthed, "Sorry." I slipped
off to the other side of the room to let the lady in red finish her shot. I spotted a regular and
asked, "Who's the lady in red?"
_____ Sheila replied, "Don't know. Walked in here about an hour
ago, had a couple of drinks. Shook her ass on the dance floor and came back here and started
shooting pool. Her claim to fame is if anyone can beat her in a game of eight ball she'll take the
winner home and give her the fucking of her life."
_____"Sounds like a woman after my heart." I said.
_____Red moved around the table contemplating her next shot.
She sunk the nine-ball with no effort. Her opponent had only two balls on the table and Red had
three. The next shot she took banked off the side and two of the three balls fell smoothly into the
opposite side pocket. The cue ball came to rest directly in front of the seven-ball. Red moved in
front of the table facing me. For a moment our eyes locked, then she looked away. She bent
forward and my eyes rested on the mounds of her breast. The next shot required no great skills.
She called the pocket and sank the seven-ball. The eight ball fell without protest and her
opponent begged without shame for a rematch. Red was having none of that and asked, "Aren't
any of you ladies feeling lucky tonight?"
_____Someone yelled from the back of the room "Red you've
beat all the best player's in here. Why don't you take me home as a consolation prize?"
_____The room roared with laughter.
_____Red replied, "I would honey but tonight I'm looking for a
_____With the action coming to a stand I grabbed my glass and
headed back towards the bar. Red stood in the doorway. "What about you?"
_____"Me, uh I don't play." I replied.
_____"I wasn't talking about pool baby. I thought you would like
to take me home?"
_____Normally I don't question a beautiful woman's request.
_____She leaned over closer to me and whispered in my ear, "I've
never fucked a cop before."
Her tongue brushed my ear and sent shock waves pulsing down to my center.
_____"How did you know?" I asked.
_____"Your badge showed when you raised your arms."
_____"Oh, I'll have to watch that."
_____"So. Officer are you going to let me go with a warning or
can I expect to be punished to the full extent of the law?'
_____Damn, this woman was fine. I grabbed her by the waist and
pulled her towards me, "The only thing that you can expect Red is that the punishment will fit the
_____We headed for the door. I watched her climb into her red
Mustang and gave her my address in case we got separated. I turned onto Crystal Avenue with
Red following. I though to myself that I must be crazy. I don't even know this woman's name.
It was a fifteen-minute drive to my house. During that fifteen minutes I kept thinking about
Rachel and the things Kevin had said. This was insane here I was about to taste Red's nectar and
all I could think about was my best friend straight sister. I blamed Kevin for screwing up my
mind tonight. I picked up my cell phone and started to dial Rachel's number. I checked myself. I
must be loosing my mind. I turned into the drive way and Red followed. I pushed Rachel out of
my mind as I climbed out of the car and walked over to Red's car. I opened her door and we
walked to my front door. As the door slammed behind us I grabbed Red by the jacket and pulled
her body on top of mines. I locked my lips to hers and I searched hungrily for her tongue. My
right hand reached for the zipper of hers jacket. I pulled my lips from hers and said "My name's
Selena. What's yours?"
_____Red slapped my face and shoved me against the door. I
must be loosing my touch. I should've known this woman was not what she appeared. For a split
second I was stunned. Then, Red jolted me back, "I thought you were a winner. Maybe, I should
_____"Oh, I'm a winner alright. Just remember it won't be me
begging to get fucked tonight."
_____ With that said I grabbed Red by the hair and pulled her
towards my guest bedroom. I released her hair when we entered the bedroom and shoved her
towards the bed.
_____"Get undressed. Take off everything. Wait here, I'll be
_____I went to my bedroom. I returned to the guest room to find
Red completely naked and lounging on the bed. "Did I tell you, you could lay down? Go to the
bathroom and turn on the shower."
_____I watched as she glided across the bedroom towards the
bathroom Red had a wonderful body. Her breasts were large and her nipples jutted out firm to
greet you. Her pubic hair formed a perfect thick dark triangle that held the mysteries and scent of
woman. She swayed her hips and my mind synchronized to meet her rhythm. I striped off my
clothes and followed her into the bathroom. As she bent over to adjust the water flow my hands
grabbed each firm breast. I pinched her nipples and they hardened to my touch. Red sighed with
delight and pressed her ass firmly against my pelvis.
_____"Check the water darling is it hot enough for you?" I
_____Red placed her hand under the streaming water and said,
"It's fine baby."
_____We got under the cascading shower and I lathered the bath
sponge with strawberry scented gel. As I lathered Red's body she began to sigh and moan. I
trailed my hands the length of her body and gently massaged her clit. I pushed her back under the
pulsating water and Red wrapped her legs around my waist. I inserted two fingers in the velvety
folds of her sweetness. Hungrily my fingers stroked her inner walls. I could smell the juices of
her creamy center mix with scent of the strawberry gel. I dropped to my knees and exposed her
clit. Quickly I flicked my tongue over her clit. Red gasped for air as I alternated between
sucking, licking and biting her clit.
_____"Yes, that's it baby fuck me good officer!"
_____Abruptly I stopped. The look in her eyes went from
confusion, to frustration to disbelief.
I pushed Red off of me and walked out of the shower. Red came into the bedroom and found me
laying on the bed under the covers. "What was that all about?"
_____"Well, I said you don't think I was going to let you get way
with slapping me do you?"
_____"So, what are we finished?"
_____"You can stay or you can go it doesn't matter to me. But if
you stay you're going to have to beg to get it ." With that said I threw back the sheet and
exposed my favorite toy.
_____"Is that for me Officer." Red said.
_____"Well, now that depends on how well you beg for it."
_____With that Red crawled on her hands and knees towards the
bed. All the while begging me to give her what she wanted. When she reached the bed I got up
and stood behind her. In one fluid movement I grabbed both her hands behind her back and
placed my handcuffs on her wrist. I separated her cheeks and placed the tip of my toy at her
opening and pushed. Red sighed and I pulled out.
_____"Oh, please Officer punish me punish me." Red sighed.
_____I grabbed her by her hair and pushed the tip inside. Her
juices flowed over the head and I penetrated harder and deeper.
_____ Red gasped "Yes, that's it baby punish me, punish me. Give
it all to me."
_____I matched my rhythm to the pumping of her hips. Her
sweetness rolled down her thighs and I slapped her ass. Red screamed "Harder!"
_____I slapped harder and drove deeper until her legs began to
quiver, her walls contracted and our juices flowed. Red screamed and began to shake. We
collapsed on the bed, neither one able to move.
_____ The next morning I woke up to find Red asleep. I
glanced at the clock and realized that I over slept and would not make it in time to meet Rachael.
I slipped out of Red's arms and headed towards the shower. I looked at her laying in the bed and
wished that I had not let her come home with me. I don't even know the woman's name.
_____"Damn." I mumbled. "I just can't seem to keep it
_____I stayed in the shower for twenty minutes. I returned to the
bedroom to find Red wide-awake. I felt awkward and was hoping she would have left while I
was in the shower. No such luck. "I answered your phone while you were in the shower."
_____"You, did what? Why would you do that?"
_____"Because it was annoying me. It just kept ringing. Don't
you have voice mail?"
_____"That's great. Who was it?" I yelled
_____"Rachael, she said she would call back later."
_____"Damn! Get dress you've got to go."
_____"Selena, you don't have to get uptight about it. Why don't
you come back to bed and I'll make you forget all about Rachael."
_____"Look, uh, uh. What is your name?"
_____Red replied, "Ruby."
_____"Look Ruby I've got to go. I had a nice time but it's time to
_____Ruby got dressed and stormed out of the house. Good. I
got dressed and head towards Asher Park. I prayed that I could make it before Rachael finished
_____ As I turned into the parking lot, I was relieved to see that
Rachael's car was still in the lot. I parked next to her car and got out. Confusion was becoming
my best friend. I realized I did have feelings for Rachael. The confusing part was what type of
feelings and how would she feel about my feelings. This was crazy I had to get out of the park
before she saw me. As I made a b-line back to my car I heard Rachael call out my name.
_____Too late to run.
_____Rachael walked over to me. "I thought you weren't coming
today?" she said.
_____"Sorry, I over slept." That was the best I could come up
with on short notice.
_____Rachael replied, "I see." She turned away from me and
headed towards her car.
_____I see was not the response I was anticipating. "Are you
hungry? Would you like to go get something to eat?" Hey, food was always my mother's solution
to any problem.
_____"I wish I could Selena but, I've got a meeting downtown
this morning. I got a better idea. Maybe you and your friend, Kay and John, and Kevin and
whoever could have dinner at the house this Saturday?"
_____"That sounds like a plan Rach but, what friend would that
_____"Oh you know the woman that answered your phone and
said you were in the shower. That friend."
_____With that said Rachael got into her Z3, threw it into
goodbye gear and raced out of view.
_____I stood there for a minute and tried to figure out what was
going on. Yes, Rachael had all the qualities one could hope for. She was attractive, intelligent,
confident and witty. Okay, I was ready to admit to myself that I was attracted to her. But was
she attracted to me? That ladies is the million-dollar question. Kevin thought so. But, Kevin's no
judge he thinks if a woman smiles at you she wants to go to bed with you. I got in my car. I didn't
want to go home. All I could thing about was Rachael. I felt like a kid in high school. I reached
for my phone and called Kay.
_____"Kay, it's Selena, I was wondering if you wanted to meet
me at Mamma's Kitchen for breakfast. Good. I see you in 15 minutes."
_____ When I arrived at Mamma's I found Kay sitting in a back
booth by the window. Sure, I was hungry but I also, wanted to get some information from Kay
about Rachael and who she was dating. The last thing I wanted to do was to tip Kay off about
me being interested in her kid sister. I knew Kay would not approve. She considered me a
womanizer and heartbreaker. She always said one day I would get back what I was giving out. I
never thought that day would come to pass.
_____ After we ordered Kay said, "So, how was your morning
run with the Rach. Did she dust your old ass again?"
_____"Old, girl-friend! I'll have you know that I can run mile for
mile with her any day of the week."
_____"Sure you can, if she kicks it down a notch." Kay
_____"I didn't make run. I overslept."
_____"I see." Kay replied.
_____"What is it with you and your sister. You both Say I see.
Rachael said the exact same thing to me this morning."
_____"Oh, mom would say that to us kids when she knew we
_____"I tried to get Rachael to join us but, she had a meeting a
downtown. So, how is work going for her, Kay?"
_____"It's good I think she going to get an apartment soon. She's
certainly making enough money to be on her own."
_____Going for the million-dollar question I said, "I guess having
you around with badge and gun would slow her roll down. Is she seeing anyone?"
_____"You know she really doesn't talk much about anyone in
particular. There's a guy at her job that calls all the time. I think they went out a couple of times.
But, she claims she not in favor of office romances and that her career is more important." With
that out of the way we talked about work and who seeing who or doing what.
_____ I went straight home, stripped the linen off the guest
bedroom, cleaned the bathroom and laid down for nap. I had to be at work at 5:30pm. I thought
about what to wear Saturday night and drifted off to sleep. When I woke I barely had enough
time to make it to roll call on time. Work was boring and Kevin was going on and on about some
friend of his current lover that he wanted me to meet. He said she was curious and wanted to
know what it was like to be with a woman. I guess I wasn't feeling my usually naughty self
because that bag of tricks didn't interest me at all.
_____Rachael called Saturday morning and cancelled our run.
She had too much to do before the dinner party. I was disappointed but, I understood. I went for
the run without her. I hoped that it would help sort out my problem. Tell her how I feel and risk
losing a friend or keep it to myself and risk never finding true love. I decided that I would tell her
tonight. I stopped at the florist and picked out a nice bouquet. I also, picked up a bottle of wine.
I returned home to find a message from Kevin saying that he would not make tonight. If I know
Kevin I'm sure he wouldn't be spending the night alone. Well, things are looking better
_____ I arrived at Kay's house to around 5:30. Rachael
answered the door. She took my breath away. She was wearing a simple black dress that came
mid-thigh. Her shoulders were exposed and her hair was swept up in a twist. I handed her the
bouquet as I stepped inside the foyer. Scented candles filled the air. She thanked me and turned
towards the kitchen. I walked behind her and admired the way the dressed hugged the curves of
body. We went into the kitchen. Rachael walked to the cupboard and got a vase. Every
movement was liquid. I wanted to reach out and grab her, just to touch her. Get a grip girl I
_____"Did Kevin Call you? I asked
_____Rachael replied, "Yes, he called this morning. He said
something about finding the love of his life. So, what's her name?"
_____"I think the flavor of the day is Julie."
_____"What about you? Where is your date? I thought you were
bring your friend from the other morning?"
_____"No. We didn't have that type of relationship. What about
you, where is your dinner date? Kay told me you had an admirer from work."
_____"Well, as a matter of fact I did invite someone special
_____The phone rang. Rachael wiped her hands on her apron and
answered the phone. From her side of the conversation I gathered that she was talking to Kay
and that Kay and Johnny would not make it tonight. Rachael turned to me and said, "That was
Kay. Johnny's babysitter cancelled last minute and they won't be able to make dinner."
_____I barely heard any of what Rachael was saying to me. I was
stuck on, "I did invite someone special." I felt my temper flare.
_____"Selena, Selena." Rachael interrupted my self-indulgence in
her revelation. "Where are you girl? Did you hear me? Kay and Johnny are not coming. Will
you please remove the extra setting from the table?"
_____"Sure." I replied.
_____I went into the dining room and removed two of the setting
and walked back into the kitchen. I placed the plates on the counter and sat down. "So, I guess
that just leaves the three of us?" I got up before she responded and walked back into the dining
room. I only saw two settings. I returned to the kitchen and sat down at the counter and repeated
my question "So, I guess there will be only you, me and your friend for dinner? There is only two
setting on the table do you want me to add a third?"
_____Rachael moved closer to me, "No, two will be enough. Go
to the dining room and I'll bring the dinner."
_____"I thought there would be three for dinner? What about
your special guess?"
_____"No. I invited someone special, but I'm not sure if that
person is coming or not."
_____"That's just like a guy. Here it is time for dinner and he still
hasn't called. What his problem?"
_____"You know Selena guys aren't the only ones with problems
_____My brain was in overdrive. My luck was holding. If this
guy didn't show up for dinner I would take the chance.
_____Rachael served dinner. I thought that this would be a good
time as any to asked her about the guy from the office, "Are you upset that your friend did not
join us for dinner?"
_____"No. I knew there was a possibility that things would not
work out as I planned. But, the night is young and a girl can still hope."
_____I had hopes of my own and none of them involved a guy
showing up late for dinner.
I wanted to know more about this guy. So, I asked, "How long has he been interested in
_____"I really couldn't say. Maybe you'll have the chance to ask
_____Like hell I will. This conversation was not going the way I
wanted. She started telling how this guy helped her get adjusted and blah, blah, blah. As if I
cared, I nodded at all the right places and even managed a laugh or two. We finished dinner and
cleaned the dishes. Dinner was excellent. The conversation aggravating.
I wanted to sit out on the deck. The air was crisp and cool. I lit a fire in the out door fireplace
and stared into the fire. Right at that moment the night felt perfect and I prayed that it would not
end with me going home without telling her how I truly felt.
_____ Rachael walked up, knelt beside and I felt her hand stroke
my hair. "Selena, tell me what's on your mind?"
_____We stood. We were so close. Our eyes locked and I felt a
jolt rush over me. I wanted to tell her.
"You're right. But before I tell you please know that I cherish our friendship and that I would
never do anything to hurt you." A tear rolled down my face. I moved closer and Rachael wiped
the tear away. I whispered, "I love you." I said it so low I was not sure that I said it out loud or if
Rachael heard it.
_____She leaned closer and lightly pressed her lips to mine.
Rachael broke from our kiss and said, "I love you too. I've known for along time. You're the only
one who's been fighting against us."
_____"I don't understand?" As usual confusion was a friend of
_____"Shortly after we met I was attracted to you, Selena. But, I
knew how easily you moved in and out of relationships. I didn't want to be another play toy for
you. So I decided that if we were meant to be that we would have to be friends first."
_____"What about Kay?" I said.
_____Rachael looked at me with disbelief. "Do you really want to
talk about Kay or do you want to finish what we started."
_____"What if Kay comes home?"
_____"Selena, Shhh baby. Kay knows all about this. You're the
only one out of the loop."
_____Rachael took me by the hand and led me upstairs to her
bedroom. That night as I laid in her arms I felt complete surrender. The passion that rippled
between us touched my heart and soul. We held each other for hours and talked about forever.
Finally, it felt right and whole.
_____ Six months after our first night Rachael moved in with
me. Within the year we were planning our commitment ceremony. Six months later she died.
Twelve months after that are twelve unbearable months...
Copyright © 2001. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.