Don't forget to read Part 1
The night Dee left me, I honestly didn't realize how hard it would be to live without her. And I certainly didn't realize that the nights would be the hardest to deal with. During the days, I was totally preoccupied with work and allowed nothing else to penetrate my thoughts. If my mind did drift to her, I instantly allowed another project to consume me. I worked long hours and became even more obsessed with work.
But, I had to go home sometime.
My nights were filled with such emptiness that I felt hollow inside; I felt the incompleteness of me. I dreaded walking through my front door and hearing...nothing. Complete silence. The pain of her absence was so intense that my heart actually ached. (And to be honest, I always thought that was bullshit when I heard someone say that, but it was true.) My heart ached for Dee. I missed her. I needed her.
I was a crazed-woman during those long nights. I thought of nothing but her. I craved nothing but her, and I needed nothing but her. I felt the depression slowly consuming my body, the self-pity, the bitterness, and finally the resentment towards her.
I tried to convince myself that she wasn't thinking of me, why would she be? I told myself that she had never loved me and if she did, she wouldn't have left me. She would have given me more time; she would have tried anything to make us work. I tried to convince away my pain. It didn't work.
I wanted to be angry with her, but I couldn't. I wanted to be pissed because she had given me an ultimatum. I wanted to rant and rave that she wasn't allowing herself to understand my feelings, nor was she giving me the time that I needed to reveal my commitment to her publicly. But, I couldn't feel any of that. I knew that she had been right and that she had given me more than enough time. But, I couldn't bring myself to make that step that she needed. Not now.
The hardest part of the nights was crawling into "our" bed. It was as if the bed was a hateful child teasing me by chanting, "Naaa naaaa naanaa naaa." The moment that I would slip my naked body beneath the covers, I would smell her lingering perfume and soap on the sheets. The tears I would have fought throughout the evening would overwhelm me. They would come from somewhere deep bringing with them the racking sobs. I wouldn't be able to catch my breath because of the tears; they would choke me, punishing me for holding them at bay for so long.
When my mind wondered to our lovemaking, I was lost. I would shift my body and tighten my thighs to suppress the sensations that were teasing my pussy. I would tell myself not to think about the feel of her nipples in my mouth, the way she tongue fucked me, the way my fingers felt slipping into her pussy, or the way she made me scream her name by fucking me with her strap. But, I couldn't help running my fingers down my body and thinking about our intimate times. I needed her. My body needed her.
There were times when I couldn't stop myself from thinking about our friendship prior to our relationship. I would reminiscence about how good it had felt when I finally met a woman who I could honestly call my friend and who I could be myself around. Dee had kept it real with me and I didn't have to worry about her stabbing me in the back.
She was upfront about her sexuality and she didn't make excuses, or apologize for her sexual preference. However, when she confided in me that she was a lesbian, for the first time, I realized how much she valued my opinion. She looked me directly in the eyes, with uncertainty in hers and said, "I'll understand if my lifestyle makes you uncomfortable and you no longer want to hang out."
I remember rolling my eyes at her and saying, "Get the fuck over yourself," and we both laughed and were tight from that point on. She was my girl, my sister and I loved her. Dyke or not. From the beginning, I knew that she would play a very important role in my life.
There were other nights when I thought about nothing except the night that we became more than friends, and we became lovers. As my hands would drift down between my thighs, I would relive every moment of that night almost four years ago.
It was late one Friday evening, two years into our friendship, I lay on Dee's apartment floor, while she straddled my ass and massaged my neck and back. I loved Dee's massages. She had strong, powerful, soothing hands and her massages had become a ritual between us. Every time we got together, I would end up beneath her, enjoying her hands moving over my neck, shoulders, arms, and back.
I knew that I received too much pleasure from such a gift given entirely out of friendship, but her hands were so sensuous and the thought of her straddling me always turned me on. I pushed my thoughts aside and made the excuse that I always made-I was just horny and hadn't had a good fuck in a while. But that night, as I lay there enjoying her fingers moving over my skin, a low moan escaped my lips. I felt my pussy creaming, and my nipples hardening. I tensed my body from the need to release a deeper moan, and I fought to control the orgasm that was just below the surface waiting to explode. I knew that if she continued to touch me like this, my orgasm would be inevitable.
When she unstraddled me, I felt a strong void as the thighs that had held me captive were removed. My mind screamed, "No, don't leave, I want to be beneath you." Then the thought hit me, "She knows!" Oh damn, I moaned silently. Did she really know and if she did, was she angry with me? If she said anything, I would lie and tell her to get a grip. But, I did want her to say something.
The silence was driving me crazy. She had scooted against the legs of her sofa and was looking down at her bare thigh. Finally I said, "Okay, so what's up with you? Why are you so moody tonight? You haven't said two words. What's on your mind?" I let out a sigh. Damn, why did I say anything? Hopefully, she wouldn't tell me that I had crossed the line of our friendship and nothing would ever be the same.
She rubbed her temples and said, "I'm just tired tonight, that's all." Her mind was preoccupied. Hopefully, she didn't realize that my thighs were sticky from my juices running past my g-sting, nor did she realize that I needed her mouth to satisfy the painful ache building deep within my pussy. I shook the thoughts from my head, and told myself that I would explore my deepening attraction to her...my best friend...a woman later. Alone.
But, there was something definitely on her mind. I sat up and moved beside her. I reached up and began rubbing her neck. "Hey, you. You okay," I asked.
"Yeah, I just got shit on mind," she snapped without looking at me. I continued rubbing her neck, not offended by her tone. I knew Dee very well and I knew when she was upset, she threw up walls around her, safeguarding her emotions. But, I wasn't going for that tonight. I looked into her eyes, searching for the answers that she wasn't providing.
"You don't want to talk about it," I stated, already knowing that she didn't and that I was going to talk about it nonetheless.
"Naw, I'm cool, Kyla."
I decided to go through a list of possible reasons that she could be upset. Hoping, it wasn't the obvious one of her being pissed at me. I didn't know what else it could be because Dee didn't allow much to stress her. If something was on her mind, we usually talked about it. She was difficult to analyze and even though we had been girls for over two years, she still puzzled me at times. She tried to be so hard and tough.
"Work," I questioned. I thought about her stressful job as an ER surgeon and wondered if she had lost somebody that day. That always frustrated her because she put so much energy into her patients, connecting with them and working diligently to save them. She loved her work because she loved people.
Dee shook her head, no.
"Women?" I almost laughed at this one. Dee was always the one in control of her relationships because she never allowed her lovers to reach her emotionally. I always feared that she was afraid of commitment. Yet, she never intentionally tried to be cruel to her girlfriends, thus telling them that no matter how much she cared about them that she wasn't able to commit to a relationship because of her job. Yet, when she was preparing to end a relationship she'd tell me that she didn't have time for a clingy broad. I always went hard on her afterwards telling her that she was 100% dog, aka MAN, trapped in a female's body, with only one thing on her mind-fucking. She would laugh, wink at me and say that I was the only one who would who change her.
I knew it wasn't women. Yet, she wasn't saying anything. I looked at her deeper. She wasn't saying yes or shaking her head no. Ohmagod, I thought. That was it! Deyone Nicole Austin was having women problems. I had heard it all.
I wanted to know everything about this woman who had Dee whipped. Who was she? What was she like? What did she look like? More importantly, was Dee in love with her?
I felt the uneasiness stir in me and I felt an emotion that I wasn't comfortable with gripping me. I was quiet a few more minutes trying to collect my thoughts, as well as hoping that she would offer further explanation about this woman. I could sense that this chick had my best friend going in circles and I was instantly on guard for Dee. Did this woman know that no woman made Dee lose control like this? Did she know that Dee was special and she had better not fuck up?
Before speaking, I hoped that my voice wouldn't betray the jealousy I felt. When I spoke, I failed because I heard the bitch in me come out, "So what, did some femme finally break you down?"
Damn, I thought. What's up with me? Why am I fucking tripping here? Dee was entitled to fall in love. God only knew how many times I had fallen in love and she had been right there beside me. But, it seemed different this time. As long as I had known her, there had never been a woman in her life closer to her than I was. She had allowed no other woman to be privy to her heart. When she hurt, it may have been hard to get it out of her, but when I did, she would totally let her guard down. It upset me to think about Dee being in love with some chick who didn't know her like me, who wouldn't cherish her, who wouldn't understand the passion in Dee's touch, or the depth of her lovemaking because this emotion was new for her.
As I sat there entering new territory, I realized that maybe I was in love with Dee. I loved her and I couldn't understand why I was feeling so threatened, so jealous, and so much fear for this unknown woman. I acted as though Dee and I were lovers and we weren't. We were girls, sisters, friends, nothing more. I had to get a grip.
She turned her head towards my hand, which was still massaging her neck and kissed the inside of my wrist. She said in a quiet, almost pained voice, "It's you, Princess."
I sat there looking into her eyes, not knowing what to say. Part of me was shocked, while another part of me felt a sense of calmness, a settling of my previous fears. Even though I realized that I must have fallen in love with her a long time ago, it shocked me that she had feelings for me. Dee could get any woman that she wanted, but she was into me, and that sent tremors down my spine.
I couldn't deny that I wanted her and that I enjoyed every moment that I was with her. I also couldn't deny that for the past year, my desire for her had grown stronger. I had never thought about making love to a woman before I had met her, and when I was now with men, I unconsciously compared them to her. I always rationalized that my feelings towards Dee were because she was so butch and that she possessed such masculine qualities.
She finally broke the silence by saying, "I'm in love with you. But, tell me that I've imagined your response to my hands massaging your body, or that we don't share a bond deeper than friendship and I'll let you go. I'll walk out of your life."
I couldn't. And she knew that I couldn't. This was where I wanted to be. She was who I wanted to spend my time with, my life with.
She pulled my head closer by cupping my chin and pulled me to her mouth. Her tongue moved between my lips and expertly she began to caress my tongue with hers. I felt myself move closer into her and our kiss deepened. I moaned into her mouth and my eyes drifted closed. She removed her tongue and began teasing my bottom lip by gently biting it and then pulling it into her mouth to suck it. That night as we kissed, I knew that I would no longer question my desire and love for her. I was hers...for as long as she wanted me.
She pulled me onto her lap and I settled atop of her by straddling her waist. Her hands moved over my back again and down to settle on my ass. I moaned and moved in closer to her, deepening our kiss, allowing my tongue to tangle with hers. She could feel that my body was hers and that I wanted her as much as she wanted me.
Her mouth moved away from my lips and she asked, "Are you sure, Princess?" I felt my clit harden with the anticipation of her tongue moving in and out of my pussy. I nodded my head, hoping that this would be the first of many nights with her.
"I've never be any surer than at this moment that I want you and that I'm in love with you."
Our lips joined again and I felt her hands move over my back and beneath my tank top. Because I was braless, Dee was able to run her hands over my bare skin and I felt my body shiver from her touch. I needed Dee to stroke my tits and roll my nipples between her fingertips. I hoped that soon she would move down to the fullness of my breasts and take one in her mouth and then the other.
As if reading my mind, her tongue began to trail kisses down my neck. "Lift your arms, baby," she murmured in my ear. I lifted my arms and she removed my shirt. While, she kissed my neck and continued to rub my back, I began to unbutton her shirt, wanting to feel her skin as well. When I finished, I slipped the material over her arms and felt the tingling sensation between my legs become more persistent. I reached around and unhooked her black sports bra and finally she sat in front of me bare-chested.
Her breasts were beautiful. They were a cup size smaller and firmer than my C cup breasts and her nipples were longer than mine. I couldn't resist cupping them in my hand and running my thumbs across her nipples. She arched her back, thrusting her tits further into my hands.
Dee's mouth finally found its way to my nipples and she began to suck them. The moment that her mouth made contact with my skin, I began to softly moan. She ran her tongue across my entire left breast and then began to suck the nipple greedily. My pussy was ready for her. She continued to tease my skin, while I rubbed and caressed her tits.
As her mouth continued to suck my nipples, her hands slipped inside of my shorts and she cupped my ass. Rubbing it, kneading it, and slightly raising me from her lap. She let my nipple slip from her mouth, as she said, "Hmmm, let's get these shorts off of you."
I slowly unstraddled her as she watched me stand and remove my shorts. I moved to stand directly in front of her face and began slowly moving my fingers down my stomach. As I approached my g-string, I spread my legs and began to inch the material from my skin. As I pushed the material over my hips, I turned so that my ass was in Dee's face, spread my legs even further apart and continued to ease the panties down over my ass. As I slipped the g-string down, I bent over in front of her to remove them so that she received a clear view of my dripping pussy.
As I stepped out of my g-string, Dee pulled my bent body directly into her face. She nuzzled her face between my open legs, while her tongue lazily licked my ass. As her mouth moved further between my legs, she began licking and tasting my pussy. I pushed my ass further against her face, enjoying the feel of her tongue. Her tongue moved into my pussy hole and she began to fuck me with it. "Hmmmmmm," I groaned. I began fucking her tongue, my hole clinching and tightening. I felt my body tense, feeling the orgasm build within me.
The more that she tongue fucked me, the harder it was for me to stand and she guided me onto the couch behind her. I spread my legs further apart as she turned to face my awaiting body. She quickly removed the remainder of her clothing and leaned down to continue loving me. I propped my leg up on the couch to give her better access to my throbbing pussy. As she leaned down, she began kissing my thighs. Finally, she dragged her tongue down my entire pussy, licking me from my ass to my clit, in one slow motion. She repeated her sexy tongue action until I was begging her to fuck me.
Finally, Dee slipped first one and then two fingers inside of my hole. I tightened around her and began to move on her fingers. She groaned and took my clit into her mouth and began sucking it and teasing it with her tongue. I moved my leg that was propped on the couch to her shoulders, and began rubbing my foot up and down her ass, while one of my hands rubbed my tits.
"Oh baby," I moaned over and over and it seemed that her fingers pumped harder in and out of me. She slipped another finger inside and I grinded against her face arching my back. As my body spiraled out of control, my juices ran from my hole and down my thighs. My body bucked beneath her and the intensity of my orgasm lifted me from the couch. When my body had calmed, Dee removed her fingers and began licking my thighs clean. Afterwards, she trailed kisses up my body until she reached my mouth and began kissing me softly. I could feel my body responding to her once again.
She kneeled between my legs and looked into my eyes and whispered, "I love you, Kyla. Thank you for making this night so special for me."
I smiled, "I want to taste you now. I want to make you cum," I said.
"Hmmm, Princess you will. Tell me I can fuck you with my dick" she said rubbing my thighs. I could see that her eyes prayed for a yes.
I nodded, anticipating Dee driving her cock inside of my still wet pussy.
"I'll be right back, Princess. Don't move."
As I lay waiting, I closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of the couch, thinking of what was to come. I heard Dee's footsteps as she entered the room and I opened my eyes and looked at her. My breath caught from her sexiness. There she stood, brown skin glistening from our mingled sweat, nipples hardened and beckoning my mouth to taste them, and her thick, perfectly matched brown dick standing at attention. I groaned in anticipation. She sat in the chair opposite of me and spread her legs. She beckoned for me to come to her.
I moved from the couch and crouched between her legs, bending my head and taking her dick fully into my mouth. As I sucked her cock, I massaged her tits, pulling and teasing her long nipples. I moaned from the feel of the hardness of the dick, realizing that it felt more realistic than I imagined. I sucked her dick deeper into my mouth not knowing of the intense pleasure her clit was experiencing from the amount of pressure that my mouth placed on her cock.
"Enough," she moaned. "Come here." She pulled me onto her lap and I straddled her hips and her dick rubbed against my clit. I groaned into her mouth as she kissed me. She picked up the small tube lying beside the chair and handed it to me. I squirted the lubrication into my hand and rubbed it up and down Dee's dick as if I were jacking her off. She took one of my nipples into her mouth, began to suck it and then reached between us to stroke my clit. As she stroked, I arched into her. I couldn't take any more of her teasing, so I lifted my body slightly and plunged my pussy down onto her dick.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh," I groaned. I whimpered from the pressure of her cock deep inside of me. It felt so good. She continued to stroke my clit and I heard her low, intense moaning. She whispered in my ear how she loved fucking my tight pussy. It made me ride her harder. She moved her finger from my clit and grasped my ass and slammed her dick into me making me scream louder for her. She began rotating the speed of her strokes, first slowly then faster. I found myself riding her dick and screaming, "Fuck me harder, fuck me harder, harder, baby. Please," and she did. My boo knew exactly how I wanted my loving and didn't hesitate to tests my limits.
As she felt me reaching my climax, she whispered into my ear that she loved me. That simple statement sent me over the edge. As my orgasm racked my entire body, I finally heard her moans combining with mine. I lowered my head to her neck and began to suck her pulse. She gasped for air and the intensity of her breathing matched mine. We both hit our peak at the same moment, and I arched my back into her and let out another scream, while her dick slammed into me one final time before I heard her deep, rumbling moan.
She stroked my back and we both tried to catch our breath. "Please don't leave me. Ever," she whispered and pulled me closer. And I cried.
I cried that night after we made love because it was the most intense feeling that I had ever experienced and I knew that she was the one.
Tonight, I cried because I had lost her. And more than ever, I knew that she was the one.
Copyright © 2002. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.
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