__________by Synik

Where do I start
Things are critical when it comes to matters of the heart
I understand that you have a past
But I just hope that ďthenĒ wasnít the last
Time youíll allow someone to see whatís inside
Thereís too much loveliness for you to try to hide
You are so beautifulÖplease stay the way you are
Itís not your fault you were born with such a trusting heart
Just like itís not my fault I feel what I feel for you
But what can I do?
No matter how much I think or how hard I try
I just canít seem to get you off my mind
I got a love jones and youíre the one Iím jonesiní for
But I canít come inside until you open up the door
I realize that in your heart thereís some type of fear
But thatís why Iím here
To remove the hurt and activate the tenderness
To remind you of love and the feel of togetherness
But youíre rightÖpatience is a virtue
And in time youíll see that I wonít hurt you
I just hope that in the process you donít hurt me
I guess my biggest fear is that youíll leave and desert me
And I know that technically youíre not with me
But I keep telling you that you penetrated me rather quickly
My heart doesnít know the meaning of time
After two weeks, I wanted you to be mine
You keep reminding me that two weeks is all we shared
As if I really care
I canít help the way I feel for you
If I could you wouldnít affect me the way that you do
I wouldnít care when you talk of being with someone else
You canít begin to understand the things that Iíve felt
Every time you mention a blind date or a future man
Telling me of your home girlsí plans
Baby girl, they canít choose for you
And if you donít know, I got news for you
Synik is the one!!!
YeahÖyou can say ďwhateverĒ
Just as long as you know that things will get better
No, Iím not trying to pressure you
I just think that Iím the best for you
Yeah I am sensitive but what do u expect
I am so vulnerable with you Lavette
You donít realize how much of me you hold in your hands
So now itís time for me to take a stand
And let you know just how real this shyt is
So pay attention and listen to this
I am not she and she is not me
Iím trying to be patient but itís not easy
You donít wanna give because things were never returned
I wanna give you everything but I donít wanna get burned
I realize that what I feel for you is more than you feel for me
But I donít care Ďcause feeling you makes me happy
Other times, that shyt hurts like hell
ĎCause what you feel for me, I really canít tell
You donít talk to me and I feel like I canít talk to you
Iím making an effort but baby it takes two
As I sit here on the fourth, watching the fireworks in the sky
I canít help but to repeatedly ask myself why
Why hasnít she called me, why doesnít she care
Why canít I get through to her, does she even know that Iím here
Why does she phase me, why not just let go
What is it about her that wonít let me alone
Itís the part of you that you are trying so hard to hide
But when I first met you, I was able to peek inside
And you know what?
I liked what I saw
Your love was rigid, but beautiful and raw
I loved how we used to spend hours on the phone
And when you left, I couldnít wait for you to come home
So we could play fight and play hangman in my car
I know this is crazy but the script has been flipped
For a good minute, I was straight whipped
But you know what, that shit is done
I canít believe that I actually thought that you were the one
I was so stupid, ignoring all the signs
Seeing what I wanted to see, instead of reading between the lines
I would be the one calling all the time
Spending weeks on this stupid ass poem, tryna make this shit rhyme
Constantly thinking of ways to put a smile on your face
But for whatÖall that energyÖwhat a waste
Iím sitting here thinking that youíve been hurt
Oblivious to the fact that I might get hurt
So busy trying to please you that I forgot about me
I forgot about my needs and my right to be happy
I gave you a serenade and you never even called me back
Still, I refused to accept that fact
I refused to believe that you just didnít care
I blamed it on the things that must have been happening over there
There had to be something going on in your life
Something that kept you from calling, something that wasnít right
I even blamed myself since you said I was too sensitive
I thought I was being impatient so I became inquisitive
I asked myself some questions and came to a conclusion
The person that I fell forÖshe was just an illusion
I created the woman that I thought you would be
But now I know that you are not the one for me
And I canít get mad at you for my mistake
I want more than you are capable of giving so I just have to wait
I have to wait for the real Mrs. Jones to penetrate my heart
No more look a-likes will play the part
Because the door to Ms. Synik is officially closed
Iím tired of these bitter bitches and ignorant hoíz
Only one person holds the key
And when she opens it, Iíll know sheís the one for me
My only problem is I wish you would have told me
You said you liked me and I used that to hold me
Together when things were falling apart
I remembered what you said every time you hurt my heart
And thatís what wouldnít let me let go
But if youíd have told me, I couldíve bounced a long time ago
But whatever, whatís done is done
I guess this chapter is closed and I guess you won
You should be happy, you didnít get hurt this time
You were able to hurt first, Iím just sad that the heart was mine
Because now I have to make an effort not to be like you
And bruise somebody elseís heart because of the mistake of some fool
Well, I guess this is the end so Iíll say goodbye
Good luck in the future and I hope no one else has to cry.

Copyright © 2004. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.

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