by
Alba Deldeseo
_____Aure shook her head violently, trying to shake away the memories. She did not want to remember a life she could no longer have. Looking around the messy kitchen Aure decided to make an effort to clean the tiny one-bedroom apartment. The time for reverie and introspection had passed, it was now time to get a move on.
_____Aure started first with the dishes left from last night's dinner. A quick pass of the vacuum and a through dusting took care of the bigger jobs. These things Aure did urgently as she tried to push away encroaching memories and finish early enough to get to the university on time.
_____Most of the students at Eldridge University were strangers to Aure. This was remarkable considering the 2000 count student body. Basically, Aure did not want to get into the whole coed scene. She'd been there and done that in undergraduate college. People were disappointing anyway, why bother with the whole business? To be sure Aure acknowledged the need for human contact, but by and large she preferred to be alone. Getting to know others involved exploring both herself and the persons in question. After explorations will come explanations or jealously guarded secrets.
_____It was three o"clock and time for another hour and a half of Financial Management. Aure walked to Maple Hall where all the classrooms were housed. The building was quiet except for a few students who milled around the entrance of the café located on the first floor. She took the elevator up to the fifth floor and headed straight for room 501. Aure noticed happily that she was the first to arrive. "Good", she thought, "at least I can find a good seat and prepare myself to be aggravated out of my mind by Cowley." She took a corner seat in the second row not too far from the door. Just as she got settled, another student entered.
_____She was short, or short to Aure's 5" 9”. She wore the standard uniform of jeans, tennis shoes and a gray sweater emblazoned with the university's motto. _____"Hi" she said, flashing Aure a bright smile. "Aure isn't it? I'm glad to finally catch you alone." _____Aure looking at her in surprise responded "Why? Is something wrong?"
_____"Oh no, not at all. It's just that I've always admired the way you handle Professor Cowley. Especially when he's being particularly condescending. My name's Samantha by the way, but you can call me Sam, everyone else does." She flashed her gleaming smile again.
_____Aure was in a turmoil but managed to conceal it long enough to reply. "Thanks I'll remember that the next time I have to pull him up." Much to Aure's dismay, Sam proceeded to take the seat directly to her left. Oh great, now she's going to want to get all chummy. The last thing I need now is an overly chatty classmate.
_____Aure pretended to be busy arranging her books while taking furtive glances at Sam. Sam was a beautiful woman and Aure wondered about her background. Sam's thick, wavy, jet black hair, her dark brown skin and almond shaped eyes gave her an exotic appearance.
_____Just as Aure was getting down to some serious woman watching, Professor Cowley entered with a trail of students behind him. Aure withdrew into herself. She listened to Cowley, took notes and when the class ended made straight for the library. As she crossed the great lawn that separated Maple Hall from the library she heard the low husky voice.
_____"Aure!"
_____Aure turned to see Sam walking towards her.
_____"I see You're on your way to the library. Do you mind if I join you? There are some notes that I didn't get in class, I sometimes tune Cowley out."
_____Aure hesitated, this was just the sort of thing she was trying to avoid. Going through the motions of getting to know someone new. The uncertainties, the extra care to be PC – all of it was so much work. Work she knew she didn't want to make the time for.
_____Sam sensing her hesitation quickly added, "Of course if You're busy I could ask someone else."
_____Aure wanted to kick herself for being rude. Sam was just trying to be friendly. "No it's no problem, I was going to get a book for leisure reading. I like to do that ever so often just to get my mind off of academia. _____Aure smiled to reassure Sam and they walked together towards the library. Once there, Aure read or pretended to read while Sam copied her notes. Aure found herself speculating about Sam. She's really beautiful, probably has the men scrambling at her feet.
_____Sam, feeling Aure's eyes on her looked up and smiled. "Good book?"
_____Aure was thankful for her dark skin. Thankful that Sam couldn't see her embarrassment. "Oh, ah yes it's very interesting. It's a mystery about a strange house-guest and the mayhem that follows her."
_____"Oh that is interesting. There's nothing I enjoy more than a good guest, even one that comes with a bit of mayhem. Makes life a little more exciting." Sam winked and flashed that smile again.
_____Aure felt her face suffuse with heat. I've got to get out of here. She's too gorgeous and I don't have time for a fruitless endeavor. "Well" she said aloud trying to steer the conversation to less dangerous topics "I see you've gotten all of the notes."
_____"Yeah thanks a bunch. Let me repay you with soda or something."
_____"No need for that, anyone would've done the same. It's getting kind of late and I should be getting home."
_____"Well at least let me give you a ride. You don't have a car do you?
_____"No." Aure marveled at her persistence.
_____"Great, my car's in the lot out front. Let's go."
_____Sam kept up a steady stream of conversation as they walked across the parking lot and got into her Chevette. She talked about school, her parents, her job but did not mention any significant other. "So that's all about me, what about you? Where are you from? You have a lovely accent, Caribbean isn't it?"
_____"Yes, it's actually a mixture from St. Croix and St. Lucia."
_____"You were born in which island?" _____"St. Lucia."
_____"That's fascinating, I've never really known anyone from the Caribbean.
_____"It's not so different from your own South America. I'm sure we share many things in common."
_____"Oh no doubt" She winked and smiled again.
_____Why does she keep doing that? Aure wondered. It was as if Sam had some secret that she's contemplating letting me in on. Aure shrugged. She would end this play right now. "So what about a boyfriend or are you just letting some poor guy sweat it out?"
_____Sam's eyes darkened, but just as quickly they regained their usual twinkle. "Nope, no boyfriend and none on the sidelines either. As a matter of fact I don't need or want a boyfriend."
_____Aure thought that this indeed was an unusual comment but said nothing. After all, she really did not want to work at getting to know another woman. When Sadja left it was all she could do to keep her sanity intact. "I live on Striger Street not too far from here. It would take us another five minutes to get there." When they arrived Aure jumped out and extended her arm through Sam's window. "Well it was really nice talking with you and thanks for the ride."
_____"Sure anytime. Say would you like to go to the Drama Club's recital next week? I have two free tickets."
_____How to get out of this one? Aure searched for a quick excuse. "Isn't that on Friday? I'm not sure yet, can I get back to you on that?"
_____"Sure no problem. Here's one of my cards, give me a call anytime before Friday afternoon. Thanks again for the notes."
_____Aure watched as Sam drove off then slowly walked to her apartment deep in thought. Sam in her car frowned as she thought about Aure. Why is she so closed? What is she afraid of? Whatever it was, Sam decided that it was worth finding out. Aure's quiet dignity, her tall graceful yet voluptuous body all gave her a subtle beauty. And what fine skin! Like brown sugar, smooth and sweet.
_____Sam chuckled to herself as she had this mental conversation. She had watched Aure Shepherd for almost two semesters and she decided that she would get to know her better. Maybe, even woo her.
_____"Yes, whatever's troubling you my Caribbean Beauty, I'll soothe it all away."
_____Aure flicked the living room light on and flopped onto the overstuffed couch. The memories flooded her consciousness, but this time she didn't try to push them away. She absorbed the pain that each one brought. Maybe this is what she needed to do, let the hurt engulf her, analyze the pain until it couldn't hurt anymore. "Oh Sadja why did you have to do that? Why did you make me love you? Why did you leave me?"
_____Aure saw Sadja as she once was. Sadja, she who threw her head back to laugh in that deep heartfelt way. Sadja who spoiled and pampered her. Sadja who loved her as no other had loved her. Aure's heart contracted as she remembered living and loving Sadja. She felt the tears come as she remembered Sadja in a passionate embrace with Stanley their study partner. Stanley whom she trusted, Stanley who knew about their love. Aure smiled bitterly as she remembered walking in on them. She never blinked an eye, just simply said "excuse me" and walked out of the room. Oh how Sadja had cried. It broke Aure's heart to see that, but her own heart was broken. Her trust was shattered never to be mended again. There was no discussion, no pouring out of emotions, no nothing. Aure did not want to hear it, she knew what she saw. Stanley kissing Sadja, his hands fondling her exposed breasts. It was enough. That same night Aure packed her things and moved into a motel. This was three years ago and with this opening of a wound that was not yet healed, Aure decided to cure it forever.
_____The weekend had finally arrived, and as usual, Aure decided to enjoy it by staying at home. She cleaned the apartment until everything in it sparkled. It was lunch time by the time she finished and just as she was about to bite into a hastily made turkey sandwich, the door bell rang. "Now who the hell can that be?" Aure put down the sandwich and walked over to open the door. There she was standing with an armload of groceries. "Wha...what are you--" Aure stuttered as she tried to cover the surprise and pleasure she felt at the sight of Sam.
_____"Hey Aure! What's up? You never called about the recital so I thought I'd come over and make you my special Spanish rice.. you know, just to thank you again for the notes. You don't mind do you?"
_____Aure pretended not to notice the absurdity of Sam's reason for suddenly arriving at her door. Instead she invited Sam in. "Oh! No, no come in, I don't mind at all. I was just about to have a turkey sandwich, but Spanish rice sounds much better. And by the way, you don't have to thank me for the notes, anyone could've given them to you."
_____"Oh I know, that was just an excuse to come over here." Sam winked at Aure and flashed her brilliant smile.
_____Aure was taken aback. She's so bold and insistent! "You don't need an excuse to come over.."
_____"Oh but I do." Sam replied. "You're so reclusive that it's difficult to even talk to you."
_____This last comment floored Aure. "You wanted to talk to me before?"
_____"I've been wanting to meet you and talk with you for quite a while, but you always leave class in such a rush. I don't know you very well, but I'd say that you are deliberately avoiding meeting people."
_____Aure felt her face grow warm. She didn't know whether it was from anger or embarrassment. "Yep, you've got that right. I've found that getting to know people can be more trouble than it's worth."
_____Sam who was already in the kitchen rummaging through the refrigerator asked. "Is that so? Well I've found that people like you make the best friends." She straightened up and looked Aure full in the eyes and stated "I'd like to be your friend."
_____"And if I don't want you for a friend?"
_____"Then I'll leave right now and not bother you again."
_____Aure though about that. Would it be worth it to get to know this woman? This woman who awakened feelings in her that she thought she'd repressed forever. She spoke finally. "No don't go, I'd like to give this a go, and besides I'm starving. Go ahead and make that rice, ummm I can't wait!"
_____Sam smiled and continued with her preparations. While she cooked she plied Aure with questions about school, work and finally about her personal life. "So, what about a boyfriend? No significant other?"
_____"No, I'm single and I like it that way, just like you."
_____"Just like me?"
_____"Yes, did you not say that you didn't want a boyfriend?"
_____"Oh yes I did say that didn't I?" Sam finished cooking the rice and began serving. "The last relationship I was in ended in a disaster. Jo just couldn't stop messing around with other folks, so we broke up. What about you?"
_____"If you don't mind, I really don't want to talk about it."
_____"That's ok, we're just starting out as friends. Bit by bit we"ll break down that wall."
_____Aure sighed and smiled. "Good luck, now let's eat!"

As the weeks went by, Aure and Sam became close friends, but Aure kept a bit of herself back and Sam sensed this. One day, she decided to let Aure know exactly how she felt and what she wanted. It was a Friday and she knew Aure would be home by six p.m. She called and left a message on the answering machine.
_____"Hi Aure, it's me. Don't go anywhere tonight, I want to give you a special treat and I also have something very important to tell you."
_____Sam rang off her heart beating furiously against her ribcage. "How am I going to do this? I'd better just come right out and tell her."
_____That afternoon as she listened to Sam's message she thought I wonder what that's all about? Probably one of her crazy recreational projects." She smiled at the thought. As a matter of fact she always smiled at the thought of Sam. The twinkle in her eyes, that thick wavy hair she loved brushing. It was so hard hiding her attraction to Sam. Hard to hide the fact that her skin tingled when she brushed against Sam, that she got excited whenever Sam rubbed the tension from her back and neck. This was just the kind of thing that she didn't want to happen. Being attracted to a straight woman. God why did she have to be so damn beautiful and sexy.
_____At seven o"clock that night Sam rang the doorbell. She was stunning in a short black evening dress. Her hair flowed in rivulets over her shoulders and her skin glowed in the dim light of the hallway. But she was so serious!
_____"My God! You didn't tell me we were going to a party. I'll feel underdressed and an ugly duckling standing next to you."
_____Sam walked in and placed Japanese take out on the coffee table before turning to Aure.
_____"You can never be an ugly duckling. You're one of the most beautiful women I know. And no we're not going to a party, we're staying right here."
_____Now Aure was truly puzzled. Something was definitely up and she was not sure what it was.
_____"Then why are you so dressed up?"
_____"Because it's a special night and I wanted to dress the part. Let's eat and afterwards I won't keep you in suspense any longer."
_____Aure's eyes devoured every inch of Sam. "God, if I could only touch her, hold her, kiss her.." Aure shook her head and sat down.
_____"Why did you do that? Shake your head I mean?"
_____"Oh nothing, I just had to clear my head in preparation for your big announcement." She smiled uncertainly at Sam.
_____Sam lit some candles and turned the lights off. "Let's eat." While they ate they spoke in low tones of the week's events and made other idle talk. When they were finished, Sam threw away the boxes and sat beside Aure on the couch. She turned to Aure and took her hands into her own.
_____"Aure from since I first saw you, I knew that I wanted to get to know you better. Now that I do, I want to tell you something that I haven't told you." Sam took a deep breath and continued. "I know you think that my ex, Jo is a man, but she isn't. I'm a lesbian who is very much attracted to you and I want to make love to you."
_____Aure sat transfixed then she began to laugh softly at first until it burst forth joyfully. Sam who did not find the situation at all funny became annoyed. "Did she think this was a joke?" Aure saw Sam's expression and became serious. She said nothing to Sam, just reached out to gently caress her cheek. She traced Sam's face as if she were blind. She ran the tips of her fingers over her eyebrows, over the pert nose and traced the outline of her lips. Finally she drew Sam's face closer and kissed her fully on the mouth.
_____"Do you see? Do you see why I laughed? You've made me happy beyond my wildest dreams. I've wanted you for all these months but I never dared to let you know. Yes, You're right, I thought you were straight and that I'd lose you if you knew I was a lesbian. That's why I never told you about my past relationships."
_____It was now Sam's turn to be speechless. She just stared at Aure with a hunger that had long been in the making. Aure stood up, took Sam by the hand and pulled her close. She held Sam in her arms and kissed her passionately. It was amazing how right it felt. Their tongues intertwined hungrily, Aure's fingers digging into Sam's thick mane as Sam's arms snaked around her neck. They undressed each other slowly, savoring each moment. Together they laid on the thick carpet they began the slow dance of love. Aure wanted to kiss every inch of Sam's body. Starting with her lips, she worked her way over her ears, neck, shoulders... every where, nibbling, kissing and licking all the way until her path was impeded by Sam's round breasts. These she cupped gently and began sucking until the sugar brown nipples hardened. She trailed kisses down the flat hard belly until she arrived at the sweet grove. Gently she flicked her tongue and tasted the salty sweetness of her lover. Sam opened up for Aure who licked and sucked at the hard bud. Aure drank the flowing juices, lapping hungrily until she felt Sam shudder and cry out her name. Sam came again and again as Aure probed deep inside her, stroking the hidden pleasure center as she continued licking and sucking her clit.
_____"No more! I want to taste you, I need to taste you.." Aure trailed her kisses up to Sam's mouth. She kissed her and Sam could taste herself in Aure's kiss. Aure sat astride her lover, letting her touch, kiss and suckle her breasts. Sam reached down and felt Aure's wetness. "Come to me, I want to taste you." Aure straddled Sam until she was directly over her mouth. Sam teased her, flicking the groove just the slightest bit, gently nipping her clit them soothing the sweet pain by taking it all into her mouth. Aure moaned "please..." It was enough... Sam grasped Aure's hips and buried her face in steaming wetness. Aure ground against her, rocking faster and faster until the climax overtook her.
_____"Yes, yes, yesss!" She trashed against Sam who would not let her go, her tongue deep inside Aure, pushing deeper and deeper, drinking Aure's juice. Aure moaned again as Sam swirled her tongue around her swollen clit. She was loving the taste of Aure, sweetest of all. Aure came once more before slumping beside Sam.
_____That night they laid wrapped around each other until the sun filtered through the curtain of the living room window. Aure was the first to awaken, she looked down at Sam's head nestled against her breast. There was a faint contented smile on her face and at the sight, Aure trembled with fear and desire. She reached out and stroked Sam's thick wavy hair. It flowed like quick silver through her fingers.
_____"Umm that feels good, don't stop." Sam opened one eye and peered at Aure, the mischievous twinkle present as always. "You were great last night. I can't believe we were so blind about each other."
_____Aure continued her slow measured caress and looked hard at Sam. "I didn't ever want to make love to another woman again. I never wanted to feel again the way I feel about you. But, I guess I can't control everything the way I want to." Sam reached up and kissed Aure tenderly. "Why my love? What are you so afraid of? Who has hurt you so badly that you feel you can't trust again?"
_____Aure closed her eyes as the memories flooded her mind. Sadja crushed against Stanley.. She took a deep breath and began the sad, miserable tale. When she was finished, Aure realized that she was crying, something she had never really allowed herself to do. Sam held her quietly and kissed the tears away. "Aure don't you know that I would never to that to you? Before I was your lover, I was your friend. As your friend I could never hurt you, as your lover even less so." Aure nodded sadly. She would desperately like to believe everything that Sam said, but she knew a thing or two about human nature. People get bored after a while when the novelty wears off.
_____"Sam, do me a great favor and don't make promises you can't possibly keep."
_____Sam was angry now and she pulled abruptly away from Aure's embrace. "Why must you be such a martyr? Do you think You're the only one in the world who's been hurt? Stop pitying yourself and get on with your life!" Sam got up and stormed to the bathroom.
_____ Aure on the floor wore only a sad smile. She heard Sam banging around in the bathroom so she got up and knocked gently on the door. "Leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you right now."
_____"Come on Sam, let me in, I promise I won't talk to you." _____Sam opened the door but went immediately back to brushing her teeth, never once looking Aure's way. Aure stepped into the shower and turned the cold water on full blast. She brushed her teeth while she showered, not wanting to face Sam's wrath. After her shower, Aure wrapped her terry-cloth robe tightly about her body and made a quick exit. Sam ignoring her, stepped into the shower.
_____Aure stood at the bedroom window vaguely aware of the warm sunlight on her face. She thinking about all that had happened in the past few months. You really fucked this one up kid. Why did you even admit being a lesbian? You could have just said “sorry I'm straight” but nooo, you let lust get in the way. So deep was she in thought that she did not feel Sam standing behind her. Sam folded her arms about Aure's waist and leaned her face against the warm back. Aure stiffened at the touch. "Don't do that, please don't push me away. I'm sorry I was so hard on you. It's just that I want you so much. I want you for me, I want you to trust me. I want to love you and I want you to love me."
_____Aure relaxed and turned to face Sam. "You're asking a lot from me. It's not easy for me to drop my guard.... I've worked long and hard for it you know?"
_____"Aure you can't keep running away from life sweetheart. There's joy as well as pain. I know the pain, I know it hurts, but I'll try not to hurt you, I promise. Please give us a chance." She reached for the cord of Aure's robe and tugged at it gently. The robe fell away to reveal Aure's full breast. Sam sighed softy. "You're so beautiful, I could look at you and touch you all day." Sam took a breast into each hand gently fondling them before taking a nipple into her moist mouth sucking and licking until it hardened. Aure sucked in her breath not wanting to give into this pleasure. She wanted to think but Sam wouldn't let her.
_____Sam kissed Aure deeply, teasing with her tongue. She pushed Aure against the wall and began to explore, hands running lightly over the smooth belly, her tongue delving the depths of Aure's navel. Sam knelt in front of Aure placing her hands on the high butt, her fingers running lightly over Aure's crack. Sam kissed the inside of her knees, her inner thighs and finally the lips that met between them. Aure shuddered and opened her legs wide to receive Sam's mouth. Sam responded by spreading the moist lips with her fingers and using the tip of her tongue to lick the entire length of Aure's pussy. Swirling round and round the small opening and finally and suddenly deeply inside. Aure grasped Sam's hair. "Please...please kiss me, suck me..." Sam pulled out and went for the waiting clit. It was swollen and hard and waiting to be sucked, teased, worshipped.. Sam took the tip between her lips and gave a small tug. Aure bucked "Oh God! Take it all please!" Sam didn't wait for a second invitation and went to work. Her tongue working over and around Aure's clit while her fingers thrust deeply inside her cunt feeling for and finding the hot spot waiting there. She kneaded that spot and ate Aure with a frenzy she had never before experienced. Aure's knees almost buckled as she raced against Sam's mouth, coming from within and without. Spent, she slid towards the floor.
_____"Oh my sweet Jesus, where did you learn how to eat like that?" Sam smiled, replying " You liked that? Yeah? Well I'm not finished with you yet. She rolled Aure onto her stomach and pushed her into a kneeling position. "Umm perfect." Sam had perfect access to a hot, steaming feast. Being the tease she was, Sam played with Aure, fondling and tormenting Aure before finally getting down to the business at hand. "Ah yes, umm yesss that's it baby. Eat me baby, lick me, fuck me with your tongue. Oh God!" Aure was wild with lust, trembling from desire and the attempt to hang mid-air on jelly-like knees. Sam sensing her lover's urgency, shifted so that Aure was sitting on her face. She nibbled, and licked and blew softly to take the sting away. Aure was so wet, her juices flowed freely into Sam's eager mouth. Finally she could come no more. Completely drained but satiated, she laid quietly beside Sam.
_____Aure could not believe her luck. It was almost too good to be true, her dreams finally a reality. Sam was everything she loved in a woman, smart, warm, funny with a slight touch of mania. Aure smiled at her depiction of Sam.
_____A week after they first made love, Sam moved in with Aure. Second-guessing was not an option, if Aure had cold feet about this new twist in her life, it was too late now. She couldn't help the twinges of doubt she sometimes felt when she looked at Sam. Sam's beauty and sociable nature gave her pause for thought. "Will she get bored with me? Who does she look at when I'm not around?" Aure shook her head.
_____"Caught you!" Aure jumped, startled at Sam's sudden appearance. She grinned sheepishly and turned away.
_____Sam became serious. "What is it? You only do that when You're thinking too hard."
_____Aure turned and enfolded Sam in a bear hug. "I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life. I was also hoping that we would last." The hope was whispered.
_____Sam pulled Aure's head onto her shoulder and held her close. "Aure I love you, I want you and I want us to be together. Let's just take it one day at a time and just enjoy each other."
_____Aure sighed. "You're right, I know anything worth having takes some work. Hey babe, all I know is I love you. Let's just see what happens."
_____Sam replied "Nuff said, now how did Marvin put it? Ah yes.... Let's get it on!"

The End

Copyright © 2004. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.