I'm not gone sit here and lie. I hate thugs! They are rude and conceited and overbearing, but oh, my gosh, this girl has my head completely gone! She's a pure thug to her heart. She had two golds and on her eyeteeth. She stays braided up, pants hanging off her ass and a fitted to match every outfit she owns. To put the icing on the cake, she's a dealer, and she had my heart. Another trip was, I had hers too, and we both knew it. We had been through a lot of serious and trying shit in our time together, but it was all worthwhile for our forever. So, question…who said a thug couldn't love?
We met a little while back on my block. I was walking with my sister Zette and my best friend Ambrose. We were headed to the house store at the end of the street, (yes we did live in the hood!) and that's where she was sitting on the porch with her friends. I spotted her two houses away, and the closer I got to the house, that closer I wanted to get to her.
She had on some Garbaud Jeans, a white t-shirt, and an all white fitted. I could see her smile from where I was, and I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I suppose Zette either was watching my gaze, or she was caught in one of her own. She bumped me.
"Girl, do you see that?"
I laughed. "Yea, you know I do."
Ambrose chimed in from behind us. "And yes I do see a whole piece of trade. Yes indeed!" We all couldn't help but laugh at his over dramatic queenly self.
We walked into the driveway laughing and giggling amongst ourselves. The stud I was watching and her friends came to a complete hush as we walked up to the house. See, I'm real bold when it comes yo something or someone I'm interested in. so I watched her as I walked up. She was leaning against one of the posts on the house. Her braids hit just a little past her shoulders; she had mad hang-time. Her eyes were big and dark, and she had some pretty thick lashes. I was in love with them already. She had the smoothest dark skin I'd ever seen, and oh, my gayness, when I saw her lips, my legs got weak just thinking about the things I could do to her and those lips of hers.
The little fantasy I was playing over in my mind was quickly broken when she opened her mouth and said something to me. "Well, how the fuck you doing today, shit!"
I was so outdone that it took me a minute to get my thoughts together so that I could get back with her. I stopped and looked her up and down. "Well I was fuckin fine ‘til you opened your fuckin mouth, shit!"
Her friends went crazy. There were laughing hard and encouraging an argument. She looked at me and then waved me off and said, "Whatever man." I rolled my eyes and walked into the house.
On our way out of the house, everything got silent all over again. Only this time, nothing was said. I was just about out of the driveway when I heard, "Aye girl."
Zette and Ambrose turned around, but I didn't. Zette quickly turned to me and said, "Oh shit Kam, That girl coming this way."
I turned just enough to look out of the corner of my eye but not look obvious. "I don't know why she bringing her ass over here." I said speeding up a little. Then I heard again. "Aye girl." This time it was much closer, and I felt a hand on my arm that made me stop. I turned to see the thug from the house staring me right in the face.
"I know you heard me calling you," the authority in her voice both turned me on and pissed me off all at the same time.
I looked up at her and tried to say as snappy as I could, "Um, No! The last time I checked my name wasn't ‘aye girl'." She cracked a smile; stepped back then looked me up and down as if she was sizing me up. When she spoke again, I could tell her whole demeanor had changed, and I must admit this side of her was more appealing.
"Aight, for real, Babygirl, what's ya name?" Even thought she had softened her tone I made sure I kept mine.
I couldn't let my guard down too quick. She might fuck it up before she gets my number. I mean if she gets my number. "Kamarian, but my friends call me Kam."
She licked her lips and smiled. My clit jumped. "Kamarian," she repeated, "I like that. Its sexy as fuck doe." I'm mad light so I'm pretty sure she could see my cheeks change colors.
We didn't talk about much. We just sort of hit and miss on a few things. I could tell she was real guarded about her life because she made sure we focused out conversation mostly on me. She only watched me when I talked in different direction as her. When I did turn to look at her, she'd quickly turn her head and look elsewhere. It was beginning to bother me because I like to look into a person's eyes when we are talking. So I called her on it. "Why are you doing that?"
She looked over at me quite confused. "Doing what?"
"When I'm talking and looking away from you, you watch me. But when I turn to look at you, you turn away from me."
She looked down toward the ground and smiled. She looked back up at me. "You noticed all that?"
I smiled. "Yes, I make sure I watch and pay attention to the things that catch my interest."
Although she tried very hard to hide it, her smile went from ear to ear. "I have this thing about pretty eyes. I can't look into them. It does something to me." I didn't say anything. I just kind of watched her while she was lost in thought. We were silent until we made it to the end of the street.
I was the first to break the silence. "Okay, you've cursed me out, insulted me, flattered me, and basically walked me home all in the same day, and I don't even know your name."
She laughed. "My bad, Babygirl. Everybody calls me Jai."
"And Jai is short for?"
She raised an eyebrow at me. "Why you gotta know all that?"
"Cause I'm not everybody. I'm Kamarian. So what is it?"
She rolled her eyes. I laughed. Finally, she said, "Jaiden. Jaiden Cruz."
"I like that. Its cute."
She rolled her eyes at me again. I laughed again. She smiled at me then said, "Thank you."
We wrapped our conversation up then went out separate ways. A few steps later I heard her yell, "Aye, you tryna play me. I can't get yo number?"
I laughed then turned and yelled, "Yea, but you gotta earn it."
I could tell by the way her body dropped that she was caught in a pit of laughter. She contained herself then yelled out her number to me. "Make sure you use that anytime you feel like it," She added before turning and walking away from me.
Zette and Ambrose had already made it home. I don't even know how they had gotten there so fast because I didn't even remember them passing Jai and I or even walking ahead of us. As soon as I walked through the door, they hit me with a game of 21 questions. I walked right passed them as if I didn't hear anything and went straight to my room.
Ambrose was the first to walk through my door. I was lying on my bed, and he came and dived on top of me. He grabbed my cheeks and said, "Now you gone tell me everything and you gone tell me now!"
I laughed. "Oh, my God! Get off me damn. I can't talk with you on top of me like this." He rolled off of me and lay beside me. Right before I began to talk Zette came and laid on the other side of me. I looked at both of them and laughed at how attentive they were being. "I don't know why ya'll listening so hard cause ain't nothing to tell."
Zette popped up and said, "Ugh, you suck."
Ambrose sat up. "No that's my job, but she is full of shit." We all couldn't help but laugh. Ambrose continued, "So I know ya'll at least got each other's numbers?"
"Yea we did…well she gave me hers, but I told her she had to earn mine."
They both broke out into laughter. Ambrose said, "Don't pull it hoe! Act like you not easy."
I playfully hit him in the arm. "Fuck you aight." I picked up a pillow and threw it at Zette who had gotten up and sat in the chair across my room. "And fuck you too for laughing heffa. We all know you a hoe."
Zette threw the pillow back at me and said, "Well I'm a good one." We all couldn't help but laugh cause she was dead serious.
After Ambrose had left and Zette had finally went to bed, I went and got in the shower. Even though I was trying my best to fight it, Jai was heavy on my mind. As the water hit my skin and slid down and inside different areas of my body, I started to fantasize about Jaiden being in the shower with me. I closed my eyes and stepped completely under the faucet. The warm water was soothing and allowed my mind to wonder. When I turned around, there she was licking her lips and motioning for me to come toward her. I moved slowly, but when I reached her she wasted no time getting to what she had come for. She took me by my arm and slung me against the back shower wall. She kissed me deep and rough. Her tongue snaked in and out of my mouth like a fish out of water. She moved down to my neck and sunk her teeth into me. I moaned. The further she went down, the further I was lifted from the floor. When she made it to my belly button, my feet were a little above the sides of the
tub, and that's where she made me rest. The water was still warm and it was pouring directly on us. She propped my leg on her shoulder and dived right into my pussy. She sucked on my clit hard. Then flicked her tongue across its tip. I couldn't moan. I was paralyzed. I could only manage to take a deep breath and wrap my fingers in her braids. She slid her tongue deep inside me. She pushed her tongue in and out of me making sure she hit me deep and hard. Then all of a sudden she stopped and began to beat on the wall. She did it again, but this time harder making me realize where I was.
Zette was knocking on the door screaming, "C'mon Kam. Hurry up. I gotta pee."
I finally got a hold of myself and got ready to get out. "I'm sorry Zette. I'm coming." I yelled towards the door. When I swung the door open Zette was hopping around with her face all tied up. I couldn't help but laugh.
When I walked pass her she eyed me and said, "I got yo ass when I get out the bathroom."
By the time Zette made it in my room I was dressed and in my bed. She eyed me and shook her head. "Mhm, now what the hell were you doing? It don't take that long to wash yo ass in no shower!"
I thought about it and smiled. "Damn Zette I was bathing my tail!"
She got up from the chair and came and straddled me so that I would look her in the eyes. She looked me over then started to smile. "Ooo, you was in there thinking about that thug girl. Wasn't you?"
I pushed her off of me and turned my back to her so that she wouldn't see me smile. "Girl gone! I'm not even worried about that girl."
She jumped back on top of me and began to laugh. "Oh, my God. Yes you were! I see you smiling hoe."
I pulled Zette down so that she was laying beside me. "Imma be real witchu sis. Its something about her that makes me wanna know her."
"But I thought you hated thugs."
"Oh, my God. I do, but she's ionno…different." Zette didn't say anything. She just listened. So I continued. "She's cocky, but she's sweet too, and LAWD something about that just turns me ON!" Zette and I both laughed at how excited I had gotten.
"So are you gone holla at her?"
I thought about it for a second then turned and looked at Zette. "Yea I will, but you know imma have to play hard to get at first."
Zette giggled and nudged me with her elbow. "Yea, I know you will." It got quiet and still, but Zette broke it sounding serious and concerned. "Sis…"
"I'm not tryna fuck witcho game or anything like that cause you know I'm all for you if they look as good as Jai does," I laughed, and she continued, "but she don't look too legit. You know what I mean?"
I thought about it for a second. "Yea, I know."
She sat up on her elbow and looked into my eyes. "You know I love you Kam. We may not be blood but we just as thick. I jus don't want to loose you to some unnecessary drama." Zette and I were the best of friends. We met through her girlfriend, who is my stud brother Tahj, and we have been inseparable every since. I had known them for a while, and eventually, we got an apartment together. When Zette offered me to live with her, she saved me from a lot of things so I knew her love for me was real.
"I'll watch myself sis. I promise."
She bent down and hugged me. "I love you ChubbyCheeks."
"I love you too mamaz." We laid there for a while. Zette fell asleep on my shoulder so I didn't bother her. I was lost in deep thought so I couldn't sleep. Tahj and Zette sacrificed a lot for me, and I knew I couldn't bring any unneeded drama to them. So I sucked it up and decided I had no choice but to forget about Jai.
It had been about a month since I had seen Jai let alone talked to her. When I told myself I was going to stay away from her for the good of Zette, Tahj and me, that's exactly what I did. I deleted her number from my phone. I didn't walk around the hood anymore, and I definitely stayed away from the house store up the street. But come to think of it, if I said I didn't miss her…I'd be a bold face ass lie!
When I come home from school, I always check the mail, but today the cutest little boy I'd ever seen brought the mail to me. In one hand he had my mail and in the other he had a baby blue Razor phone. That's what caught my eye first because I had always wanted one, and it was my favorite color. I focused my attention back on the little boy. "What you doing with my mail cutie?"
Even though he was dark I could tell he was blushing. "I was told to bring it to you by my sister." He had the cutest voice. I looked down at him took my mail then began to walk to the front door. The little boy followed close behind.
I looked back at him as we walked. "Who yo sister and why she send you to me?"
"I can't tell you who my sister is, but I came to give you this." When I looked down he handed me the cell phone. Reluctantly, I took it then invited the little boy inside. No more than five minutes after we got in the house, the phone started blazing Memphis Bleek f/ Boxie- Infatuated, and the id read Young Pimpin. I looked up at the boy and he smiled at me and said, "Answer it pretty lady."
"Hello," I sang out knowing good and that well I sounded mad nervous. What I heard next almost made me cream.
"Damn Ma. You've been running from a nigga huh?" I was speechless. My mind went blank when I heard Jai's voice in my ear.
Finally, I got my thoughts together. "Um, no, I haven't been running from you. I've been mad busy with school," I lied.
"Oh yeah, well keep that cell on you at all times so we won't have this problem again."
I took the phone away from my ear and looked at it crazy as if I was looking dead at her. "I can't keep something that's not mine."
"That is yours girl. Why you think its baby blue?"
"How did you-" Before I could get the rest of the question, she cut me off.
"I ran into your boy Ambrose in the mall the other day, and he gave up some info on you."
I laughed knowing how Ambrose was. "So how much did you give him?"
She laughed herself before answering me. "I had to give that nigga everything I had on me and a connection to any trade that I knew." She paused before she went on. "I hope you worth it Ma cause I was rollin wit hella dollars that day."
I could feel the seriousness in her voice, but all I managed to say was, "Well I guess we'll see then."
"We will." With that she hung up. I was having mixed feelings about getting myself involved with her. So many ‘what ifs' and ‘maybes' were flowing through my head, but I was jerked from my thoughts when lil' man's pocket rang.
I looked over at him, and he pulled out one of those new cell phones for kids called crickets. He said a few ‘uh huh' and ‘yea's' then hopped up off the couch and ran to the door. Before he ran out, he turned and said, "See you around pretty lady."
"Aight lil man."
"My sister lucky she saw you first cause I wouldn't mind having you on my team." I was so surprised he had said it all I could do was laugh. He ran out and hopped up into a midnight black suburban with chrome spinners, and the insides on the rims were black too. The windows were tinted so I couldn't see inside, but I deduced it was Jai being that he was her little brother.
As soon as Zette walked through the door I ran to her to tell her what happened, but I was sidetracked when I saw Tahj dragging her bags up the sidewalk to the door. I ran passed Zette almost knocking her over and jumped on Tahj knocking her to the ground.
"Oh, my God girl get off me!" Between laughs and coughs she said again, "Get off me, and ewww don't kiss on me I might catch something."
I got off of her and stood up. "Oh, fuck you bitch. You know you love me and most of all you miss me." She held her hand out so I could help her up. When she got to her feet she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into the tightest hug. We stayed like that for a good five minutes, and it brought tears to my eyes.
A few years ago Tahj had a severe nervous breakdown, and it caused her to have a memory lapse. After weeks in the hospital and months of therapy, she was back to her old self, but doctors informed for that anything could trigger another serious lapse. I guess Zette was the peace of mind she needed because she went over ten months without a lapse. But unfortunately, things got way rocky between the two of them, and Tahj's selective memory kicked in and erased the past 10-13 months from her memory. At one point in time, she ended up in jail. One thing led to another and she got into it with a guard. No one still knows how, but she ended up with a punctured lung. She was in critical condition for a while, but she made a full recovery from everything. Holding her was the best feeling in the world. Her and Zette were the only family I really had, and I couldn't bear to loose either one of them.
When everyone was in the house and settled, I told them about Jai and what she had done. I had already prepared myself to get chewed the hell out, but to my surprise their reactions weren't as harsh as I had expected them to be. Tahj was the one to speak on it first.
"Damn sis! You got her spending money on you already. I say go for it. Just watch your back, sis." Zette looked at Tahj and felt her head. Tahj and I laughed.
"Are you all right baby?" Tahj moved Zette's hand.
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just saying. Kam is grown, and she better let this Jai person know that if anything goes down I'm comin' after her ass cause I don't play 'bout my little sister." I smiled because that sounded way more like my brother talking. I hugged Tahj and kissed Zette on the cheek then made my way to my room.
Before I even made it halfway up the stairs, I heard Tahj yell to me, "And oh bitch! Yes, I do want to meet this lame chick."
I dropped my head and mouthed ‘damn' then yelled down to Tahj, "Aight bro."
It was a little past midnight when I heard Infatuated blazing through my phone. I watched it for a while then picked it up on the second round of the song. "Five rings. I see we gone have to do better bout getting to the phone huh, Kam."
Even though she couldn't see it, I rolled my eyes as hard as I could. "And I see we gone have to work on your manners huh, Jaiden."
"Aww, Ma. Why you gotta do me like that?"
"Well, watch your mouth."
"Ooo, you got a real smart ass mouth little girl," she paused, "I'm loving that shit though." All I could do was giggle hopelessly like a schoolgirl. "Say but for real though. Get some clothes on and be outside in ten minutes." She didn't even give me a chance to deny her demand before she hung up. I was seriously thinking about standing her up, but the deepest part of me had to see her. So needless to say, I was dressed in less than five minutes.
On my way out, I was going to knock and let Zette and Tahj know that I was leaving. When I got close to the door, I knew they were nowhere near wanting to be disturbed. So instead I crept out and decided, If I wasn't back, I'd just call them in the morning and let them know where I was.
As soon as I closed the door Jai pulled up in that same suburban that the little boy hopped in earlier. When I walked up, she let the window down. She didn't even look my way when she began to speak. "Is this what you really want? I wanna know that before you even get in my shit."