by RishiFemme

She came around and I didn’t want anyone around her.
I didn’t want her phone to ring because she may…
Leave me
My presence
My room
My bed

I wanted her happy.
I wanted her to love me.

My mouth got me in trouble with her
My snappy attitude. But I really just wanted to tell her.
Let me take care of you.
Let me just love you.
Let me rub you down after your military workout.

But I was too stingy.
I wanted her all for myself.
But she is a free spirit.
That loves to be around people
That loves to loved.

I told her I didn’t want her friendship.
When I wanted to tell her that I didn’t just want your friendship.
I want your heart.
I want your touch.
Because I don’t want anything less from you.

But I had to settle for less but now she is gone.
I have alienated her from me.
I have let her see how stingy I was.

But I just wanted her like a child wants a piece of candy in a candy store.
She was my lollipop that I wanted to have.
To lick slow
To hold
To show others they don’t have what I have

But I threw a tantrum
I kicked and screamed
And cried
So I was given another lollipop
With a lesser value
With a not as sweet taste

But I will never forget about my favorite lollipop ever
Until another lifetime when I’m old enough to
Handle it
Take my time with it
And understand its meaning

See I can’t be selfish
Because that lollipop would have been mine if I would have been
Patient
Wise
And quiet

If it would have been mine then
I could have been mine now
But the candy store is closed and I have fell out with the owner

So until the candy store is open again
In a year
A month
A another week

I have to be
Patient
Wise
And handle myself with care

My selfishness is my downfall
But my love keeps me floating
But my failure to learn how to swim
Keeps me from going toward the direction I want to go.

Towards my Californiacation
Towards the girl who stole my heart but didn’t want it
Towards the girl I want to be my future
To my black hole
To my lollipop
The only girl I care for
And would not break her heart
And would love and never let her go

Copyright © 2008. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.