It was really late at night, or really early in morning depending on how you look at it. I was bored to death and Alexis (Lex as everyone referred to her) was seriously on my mind. I could not stop thinking about her for the life of me. You would think after all the shit we've been through and all the shit she had put me through she'd be the last person on my mind. Ha. Think again. I constantly saw imagines of her gorgeous smile flashing in my mind. I felt her hands massaging my neck, like she always did when I was visibly tired from a long day. I heard her laugh at Stewie, the Family Guy character, in the background. I rubbed my eyes and attempted to wipe her out of my memory.
As I was sitting at my desk, finishing my final paper for my Social Environment class, the images of Lex's tongue sliding in and out of my lips presented themselves in my head. Ugh. I was upset that I let my mind stray that far. I was upset that I was still thinking about her. I was working on hating her, and I was failing miserably. Lex wasn't a terrible person... she just wasn't the kinda person I needed in my life. I knew that without doubt in my head, but my heart cried for her... so did my body. I missed her. I could admit that. But she had hurt me so deeply just ten months ago. But here I was, thinking about her, and missing her.
A little less then a year ago, I was going through her phone, looking for the Chinese food place number. What a way to find out she had been seeing someone else. I was scrolling through the contacts and noticed a contacted stored as "Baby." The number wasn't mine. I decided to investigate. Today, I think I would have been better off not knowing the nature of their relationship. "Baby" and I conversed for nearly an hour. Lex walked into the room after noticing my absence. She saw my tears and the phone to my ear, and immediately began to apologize. Something so exceptional... something so special as our relationship was thrown away in minutes. We argued and I almost lost my mind as I felt my heart rip to pieces. I never heard her apologizes. I felt betrayed. I just never understood why she had cheated. I loved her to death. I would have done anything for her. I swear it was as though I lived for her. I guess none of that was important because she cheated.
I cried the tears, and went through what most women and some men typically go through after heartbreak. I listened to the sad slow songs that mirrored my exact thoughts. I swore they knew exactly what I was going through. Toni, Brian, Sade, they all wrote for me. And no bullshit, I even thought of suicide. I had been with Lex for three years, and I thought she was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. There was no me without her. I guess she had other plans. I'm still here, so obviously the suicide thing didn't pan out. I just loved her so much.
I met Lex back in 2002, while I was preparing to perform at an Open Mic. I was an up-and-coming spoken-word artist at the time. And as I sat and waited my turn, walked in a group of sistahs. Each of them looked completely different, but they were all extremely attractive. They walked into the Café, demanding attention. They had mine. Confidence was apparent in each step they took. Sophisticated, classy, and sexy were three words that immediately came to mind. Shoulders back, heads up. I was particularly attracted to women who were confident... and I was attracted. But one stood out the most: the last one who walked in.
She worn cornrows and from my eyes view, they were incredibly long and neatly braided. She was the tallest one of her friends. She had to be close to 5'9. Thick. Like, 170 pounds or something. Her breast begged for release in the tight black and white cut up AX shirt she was wearing. Her stomach was noticeably well defined through it's tears. Instantly, I imagined licking some sweet, sticky substance from her belly button. Her hips were wide too. I could clearly see her apple bottom from the front. I wanted to hi-five God for her decision to wear those particular jeans that night. Her legs were long as shit. I smiled when I notice she was wearing a pair the same kinds of Vans that I owned.
Her skin was the color of cinnamon. I wondered if it tasted like the spice. I saw the various piercings resting on her face, and the sleeve of tattoos. I was turned on. And I was upset that I couldn't see her eyes behind the big shades she wore. She was seriously punk rock. I saw the chain hanging from her pocket as she walked by. "Fine" could not describe her.
I guess I caught her eye too because a minute later, she was sitting next me.
Our style of dress matched one another's. Come to think about it, we looked rather similar, except I was a few shades lighter and my hair was shaved on both sides, leaving me with a cropped Mohawk.
"Hey. I like your hair."
I smiled back, "I like your tattoos."
I put my hand out for her to shake. It just so happened I extended the arm that was covered in tattoos. She smiled wider and took it. The chicks she came in with had long continued on their ways. I looked back; they were sitting at the bar, giggling with the owner. So she and I were left alone for just a few minutes. Before I knew it, I was being called to stage. I asked her to wait for me. I saw her clapping her ass off. I couldn't help but blush. Her brown eyes shone. I knew I loved her right there. I really thought she was it.
That was a little less than four years ago. I still loved her. I wanted to hate her, though.
As I tried to focus on finishing the paper, I heard my doorbell ring. I looked at the time.
My cell read "3:21a.m."
I was confused as to who the hell it could be at this time. I wasn't expecting any company. I wrapped my robe around me and when to the door.
"Who is it?" My heart was pounding rather quickly.
"Jodi? Bitch, you know exactly who the fuck it is!"
Relief came with the sound of Trice's voice.
I unlocked the locks and pulled the door open.
"Bitch, who died?" I asked calmly as I walked back to my desk. I heard her close and lock the door behind her.
"Nobody. What's good? I'm hungry. You got food?" She said through a yawn.
Have you ever known someone who was ALWAYS hungry but never had any food or money? My best friend was on her way to my kitchen.
"There isn't anything to eat in here. And how do you know I wasn't sleep? Damn." I really wasn't in the mood for Trice's constant pep.
"Damn. Don't be like that, Bitch. I knew you weren't sleep because you never sleep. Duh." She was rummaging through the cupboards. She was right, though. I couldn't remember the last time I slept more than three hours.
"Man, get what you need then be out, Trice. I'm sleepy now." I lied.
"So you lying to me now? If you don't want me here, just say so, Jodi." She was still opening and slamming cupboard doors.
"I don't want you here." I said nonchalantly.
I heard her laugh.
"Don't matter. What the fuck is wrong with you anyway?"
She walked in the den with a bag of chips and a soda in hand.
"You on ya period or something?" She rolled her eyes.
"Oh God. Trice, there isn't anything wrong with me, but I was just getting ready to finish these last few lines and go to sleep."
Sometimes, I hated the fact that she lived a block away. She came and went as she pleased without thought.
"Alright, Jay. Whateva."
She walked towards the front door, indicating for me to follow. I walked behind her.
"Listen, I know that Lex bitch is still on the brain. You gonna let that bitch kill you and I keep trying to tell you, she's far from worth the stress." She turned around and opened her arms.
"I love you, sis. Get ya shit together."
"I love you too, Trice. Later."
I closed the door behind her. I needed that hug.
As soon as I click the last lock, the tears fell from my eyes. I walked back to my desk, and read the screen saver...
"Jodi (hearts) Lex forever"
That wasn't a lie. I sat in front of my computer and cried until light came from the windows. It was 7:32 in the morning and I had yet to close my eyes. I thought I was all cried out... I was so wrong.
Two days later, I was in my Black Social Science class, and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and opened it to read the text message. It was from Lex. Although, I deleted her number outta my phone, I knew it better than I knew my own.
Tears came to my eyes. Why was she doing this to me? I hadn't heard from her since I told her I hated her a couple days after I spoke to "Baby." After the break up, she continuously called, text messaged, emailed, wrote letters. She stopped a while ago.
I read the text message over and over and over again...
"Lace (heart) Joey 4ever. Meet me at the spot. 9ish. Please."
"Joey" touched my heart. Only she and my mom ever called me that. I could hear Lex whispering in my ear...
"Joey, baby, you know I need you."
I closed the phone and as much as I hated to admit it, it felt damn good to know I was still on her mind too. I broke down a couple days ago, and after I gathered myself together, I tried to convince myself that I didn't need her. I kept reminding myself of the pain she caused me. My heart wouldn't stop hammering through my chest, though. I looked at the time.
It was 8:15. My class ended at 8:30. "The spot," the Café where we meet, would have taken a half hour minutes to get to from my school. I debated. I had the time. Should I go and talk to her? Or should I delete the message and say fuck her? Ugh. I was conflicted. One part of me, wanted to run and wrap her in my arms. I missed her, but the other part of me kept reminding me that she cheated on me. The other part of me reminded me that I had spent the past ten months crying and feeling like shit.
I walked out of class a few minutes early that day and dialed Trice's number.
"Yo, this Trice. I'm busy, Bitch. Do what you want."
I hated leaving voice messages.
"Trice, this is Jodi. I'm leaving a message-- you know it's important. Call me."
I walked towards my car. I read the message as I walked...
"Lace (heart) Joey 4ever. Meet me at the spot tonight. 9ish. Please."
Less then two minutes later, Trice's ring tone sounded.
I answered nervously, "Trice?"
"You good?" She was worried.
"Yo, Lex text--"
I heard the phone die in my ear.
Trice hated Lex enough for the both of us. Trice told me long time ago, if I ever even as mentioned Lex's name, she'd beat my ass. I couldn't get Trice to understand that love never went away. I thought she'd be the one to understand that after what happened to her.
I got into my car and just sat there a minute. What the fuck was I to do?
I opened my phone and began to look through my contacts. I had to speak to someone. I knew Trice wouldn't listen to anything I had to say concerning Lex. My mind was racing, debating on whether or not I should go and see her. I kept thinking of the fact that I had not even so much as spoken to her in ten months. Ugh. I dialed my sister's number. I knew she'd listen. She answered on the second ring.
She let out a relaxed, "Hey, Love."
I took a deep breath. "Hey, Sis. How are you?
"I'm good, baby girl. You sound stressed. Are you okay?"
"Lex just texted me and ask me to meet her at the Café in like a half hour. I don't know what to do. And you know how that goes."
I heard my sis laugh. I smiled because I knew she'd tell me to go.
"Uh, I think you should, Jodi. You love her, right? She must be thinking about you. Just go. What could it hurt? If it gets to be too much, just leave her ass there. We all need closure, Jodi."
"Thanks. I just needed to be reassured." I took another deep breath. "Call you later to let you know how it went. Okay?"
I could see her smiling, "Okay, baby girl."
"Love you, Angie."
"I love you too, Sis."
I smiled wider as I hung up. I started my car and headed towards "the spot." I was ridiculously nervous. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweating. I wondered what the hell she could have to talk about after all this time. I wondered if she looked different. I wondered if her smile was still as radiant as it was four years ago. I wondered if she missed me as much as I missed her. I wonder if she'd still be attracted to me. I had lost a few pounds from not eating and shit because of her. At that point, I wondered a lot things. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw my smile... it was a genuine smile. I hadn't smiled in almost a year. I sped down the highway, apprehensively enthused about seeing her. I got so excited thinking about finally seeing her pretty face. I was excited at the thought of hearing her smooth voice. I missed her tremendously, Man. But I was seriously uneasy because I didn't know what to expect either. Although, I wanted to see her, I didn't know if she had changed into someone I wouldn't be able stand.
I put "No Woman, No Cry" by Bob Marley on repeat and tried to relax my nerves. I counted back and fourth between one and ten, and took deep breaths to calm my heart rate. Deep breath. Deep breath.
Before I knew it, I was pulling next to Lex's car in the parking lot of Blissful Notions. I remembered how many nights we just sat in her car and stared at each other. I felt tears come to my eyes. To say that I missed her and those nights, didn't do what I felt justice. Another deep breath.
I hadn't come to Blissful Notions since the break up. I was afraid that I'd run into her. I just thought I couldn't face her. I looked around and sighed. I applied some lip balm, and put on my over sized shades. Another deep breath.
I got out the car and I looked down at myself. Honestly, I could have looked better. I had on ripped jeans, wife beater, jean jacket, and black and white Chucks. I had just gotten my hair cut, earlier that afternoon. I touched my Mohawk. I shrugged and headed inside. I opened the door and heard jazz playing in the background. So soothing, Blissful Notions was. I smelled vanilla incense and different flavored teas. I didn't realize how much I missed just the sent of the place. I saw Tu'morrow, the owner, in the back of the room. She smiled. I smiled back. Another deep breath.
I looked at the time on the back wall. It was 9:02. Another deep breath.
I couldn't miss her, sitting at one of the tables near the rear of the back of the room. She was as beautiful as she was the first time I laid eyes on her nearly four years ago. She looked exactly the same, except she had lost some weight; it looked good on her, though. She was just done taking a sip of, what I was sure was, a white mocha latté. She placed the large cup on the table and adjusted the ends of her long cornrows. She always kept her hair in braids. I licked my lips and thought of how I use to pull them in heights of ecstasy. I shook my head when I noticed we were wearing the same thing, except she was wearing slides. I noticed the shades she had on. I had given them to her a few days before the "incident." I walked over to her, hoping she couldn't see my knees tremble. I calmly took the seat next to her.
"God. You're fucking beautiful, man." She reached over and touched my earlobe.
I couldn't help but blush. Her straightforwardness always appealed to me.
"Thank you, Alexis."
A waitress came over to take my order. I was relieved. I could barely breathe, noticing how Lex was staring at me. I started hearing the clicking of our tongue rings in my head. I wanted to kiss her so desperately. I pictured my lips on hers... gently biting her full bottom lip... feeling her large breast on my mine. She smiled and licked her lips as though she was reading my thoughts. I looked the waitress' direction. I cleared my throat.
"Ahem. Uh, I'll have an Iced Grape Lemonade, please."
The waitress nodded. "Right away, ma'am."
She walked away eyeing Lex and I felt a twinge of jealousy. I brushed the emotion off, and told myself to relax. I removed my shades.
"What do you want, Alexis?"
"I'm surprised you came. You never show up any of the other times I ask you to come."
"It's been awhile since you asked. I haven't been here in awhile..." I shrugged "just came to see what you wanted." I sighed.
I took the silver cigarette case she had given me three years ago, and a lighter outta my pocket. I offered her one and she declined.
"I don't smoke cancer sticks anymore."
I nodded and took out a New Port. I put the cigarette to my lips and lit it. She continued to smile.
"Good for you. I think I would have gone crazy without these," I said after I took a long drag and exhaled.
I was trying really hard to act nonchalant while I waited for her to continue her thoughts. I thought I was doing a good job too... until, she tilted her head to the side and took off her shades.
"Check it, Jodi. Please stop acting like you're hard and shit. Thanks."
She sounded irritated.
"Yo, I miss you as much as you miss me. I'm seriously tired of being without you, though. I love you. And I know you love me. We need to try this shit again." She took a deep breath. "I'm aware that I fucked up. People make mistakes, though, Jodi. I've been miserable without you. Real shit."
She shook her head. She was trying really hard to maintain her composure. I saw the frustration in her eyes. She rolled her eyes. She reached over and picked up the large cup. She leaned back and took another sip of her latte.
I hated her for being able to keep her cool even when she was seriously bothered; yet, I loved her for the same reason.
"Whateva. Yo, I'm seriously not sweatin' you. Who told you I still gave a fuck?" I laughed and rolled my eyes back at her, and smiled at the waitress holding my drink.
"Thanks." I handed her a few dollars.
She smiled at the large tip. She nodded at Lex and I.
Lex nodded back, while I just waited for her to move on.
"What's new, Jodi?"
I took another drag and smiled, "Nothing much. School is kicking my ass. I'm trying to graduate in December. I'm very excited about it."
I flicked the ashes in a near by ash tray.
"I'm proud of you, Joey." Her smile warmed my chilled heart.
"Thank you, Lexy."
I hid behind my cigarette. My heart was still pounding and I swear she could here it.
"What's new with you?"
"Nothing much. Same old shit. Working. I'ma Godmother now. Jade had a baby." She smiled.
Jade, who I knew very well, was her whorish best friend.
"What?!" I was surprised by that. "Jade had a baby?!" I laughed.
"Yeah, man. A girl. A few weeks ago. She was gonna invite you to the shower but I told her you wouldn't be interested in being around me."
I guess that was supposed to be the guilt trip.
"Or is it you wouldn't have wanted to be around me? Shut up. I wanna see the baby."
I loved children and wanted a few dozen of my own one day... far away.
"Yo, finish that and let's go." She put her shades back on, sat back, and waited for me to finish.
"I didn't mean tonight. I'll stop by tomorrow afternoon." I put out the cigarette.
"Let's go." She waited.
"No. I'm not going tonight, Alexis." I laughed and sipped my lemonade slowly.
She leaned over and touched my hand. I pulled away.
Although, everything in my body cried to let her touch me, I refused. I thought of the tears, and the thoughts of suicide. I became angry.
"Damn," was all she uttered.
"So..." I pulled out another cigarette. I smoked like a chimney when I was nervous, annoyed, frustrated, or whatever.
"I can't touch you, Jodi?" She was stale faced.
I shook my head.
"Man, Lex, you probably don't understand what the fuck you did. You hurt me, nigga. Fucking ten months of suffering, yo." I shook my head again. "You looked me in my face time after time and told me you loved me, Alexis. You hurt me after you told me you never would. That's serious shit."
I felt tears creeping to my eyes again. I puffed on my stress manager.
For a moment, I could tell she was hurt. She straightened her back and hardened her face.
"I love you, Joey. It's been a fucked up ten months for me too. Shit. You weren't in love alone. I loved you just as much, if not more! What the fuck? Yo, I'm not trying to justify what I did. I have no explanation. I'm not gonna fill ya head up with bullshit. I fucked up. I regret that shit more than you'll ever understand. I've been fucking miserable without you. Do you understand?"
I shook my head in defiance.
"Whateva, nigga. Is that it? I gotta paper to finish." I put my second cigarette, just half finished.
"Alright, Jodi." She shrugged. "Well, if you're not interested, I can't force you. Later for that shit."
She got up from the table and started walking towards the door.
I felt like crying. Here I was, needing her... but how could I just forget all the bullshit, right? I couldn't. There's no trust there. Ugh. I felt stupid but I couldn't just let her go. I got up and walked slowly behind her. I grabbed her hand when she reached the door.
She turned around. I took a deep breath.
She turned back around and I just knew that arrogant smile was plastered on her pretty face.
We walked towards our cars, holding hands.
"Leave ya car here. We'll come back for it."
We use to meet here when I was still living with my mother, just like this.
"No. Let me park at my homegirl crib around the corner. Follow me for a second."
She nodded in agreement.
We got into our individual cars. I flipped open my cell and call my homegirl, Nikki.
She answered first ring.
"What's popping, Nick?"
"Ain't shit. You straight, fam?"
"Yeah, I'm good. I just need to park my car at ya crib. I'll come get in later, or in the morning, or whenever. You down?" I felt pressed.
"Yeah, man. Come through. You need me?"
"No. I'll just park on the side. Thanks, fam."
With that, I was on my way to Nikki's house to park my car. I was driving but I was beyond nervous. I though about how good it felt to hold Lex's hand again. She smelled so good. Like Gucci Rush and baby power.
I parked my car, got out, and locked my doors. I approached Lex's whip; she got out to opened the door for me. My heart melted because chivalry wasn't dead even though our relationship was. That instant, I thought of our dinners, long walks, the nights spent watching movies at the house, the talks about life and death, and every other second with her. I let the memories of the nights I cried slowly leave my thoughts.
She smiled at me. I felt the fluttering of wings. No one else made me feel the way Lex did. Since I could remember, Lex gave me butterflies. I sat in the passenger seat and wondering if I was doing the right thing.
"Don't worry. Relax, Joey."
With that, I closed my eyes and let the drama and bullshit of the past blow out the open window, as she pulled out of the parking lot.
Fifteen minutes passed and I was sitting in front of her apartment complex.
"Lex, what are we doing here? I thought we were going to Jade's crib to see the baby?" My leg started bouncing.
I tried harder to calm my nerves but it just wasn't happening. I felt those familiar butterflies in my stomach again when she winked at me.
She got out the car and started walking towards the entrance. Deep breathes. I got out the car and followed her. Without words, we made our way up the stairs. Memories kept resurfacing in my head. I thought of the many nights we took these same steps, knowing what was in store for the night; only tonight, I didn't have a clue. She reached for my hand and I let her take it. After a few flights, we were at her front door. She let go of my hand and unlocked it. She let me in first.
I walked in and flipped the light switch. I looked around and it was exactly the way it was the last time I had come there.
"Ain't shit change."
She had a few CDs and her poetry notebooks on the floor in front of her radio. I could see her face, extremely focused, as she poured out her heart and soul out on the sheets of paper. I took off my shoes before I walked in the living room.
"I know. Still the same chick you left way back when," she said as she went into the kitchen.
I chose to ignore her comment.
"You want something to drink?" she said from the kitchen.
I turned on the radio and let the CD play. I went over and sat on the couch.
"Oh, the things this couch has seen." I thought.
Goapele started playing loudly.
"Closer to my dreams. It's coming over me. I'm gettin' higher. Closer to my dreams. I'm getting higher and higher. Feel it in my sleep. Some times it feels like I'll never go pass here. Some times it feels like I'm stuck forever and ever. But, I'm going higher. Closer to my dreams. I'm goin' higher and higher.
I can almost reach..."
I smiled as I listened to her smooth voice and recalled the nights Lex and I made love to her.
"Yeah. Hen and coke, if you got it."
After a minute, she came from the kitchen with two cups. She slipped off her slides and walked towards me. She handed me a cup and had a seat.
"You know I got it." She smiled.
I just sat there and drank the hot liquor quickly. She remembered I took my shit with no ice. I started feeling the warming of my blood. I finished the rest of the drink and took off my jacket. Whew. She took hers off too.
I started feeling comfortable, the way I use to. She moved closer to me. I cleared my throat and put the empty cup on the coffee table... she did the same. Neither of us said a word; we just looked at each other periodically and rocked to the music.
"Yo, are you gonna say something, ugly?"
"Uh, I don't know why I brought you here. I just wanted you close to me, Joey." She looked nervous.
"Really? Well, here I am."
She touched the side of my bald head and traced my tattoo with her middle finger.
I closed my eyes and dwelled in the feelings that came with her touching me.
I opened my eyes after a few seconds. I caught her licking her lips.
"Damn." She smiled.
"Hold on." She got up from the couch and went into her bedroom. I heard her rummaging.
"What you doing, Lex?"
She came into the living room with a box... the box, that I knew she kept her weed in. She opened the box and her eyes lit up.
She laughed and handed me a Dutch, razor, and some weed.
I started rolling one jay, and she started rolling another. By the time she was satisfied, we had rolled four of them. She lit one and handed it to me, then lit another.
I smiled as I put the lit jay to my lips.
I always wondered how the hell she kept her grades up, and kept a job. She was known for excessive weed smoking. I did a little something, but nowhere near as much as her. We shared the four jays, and started giggling. She went into the kitchen and came back with the brown bottle and two shot glasses.
"Oh! Damn. What you tryna do?"
I was already high... now, she was tryna get me drunk.
She was lying through her teeth. She knew I had no inhibitions when I was fucked up.
She poured a shot for each of us.
"Whew," we exclaimed in unison.
It burned my chest. It felt good. She poured another. Down. Then another. Down. Then another. Down. Then another. Down.
I closed my eyes and laid back on the couch, smiling. The CD had changed. This one was a mix CD.
"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. It's not warm when she's away. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. And she's always gone too long. Anytime she goes away..." By Billy Withers touched my soul.
Damn. I was moved with the music and felt really relaxed.
Suddenly, I felt the heat that the liquor caused in my throat and chest move to rapidly to my clit. It felt like it was on fire. It was the worst feel-good pain I have ever felt. I started rubbing my pussy through my jeans. The more I rubbed, the hotter it got.
"Lex... fuck. My pussy is on fire, man."
I could barely open my eyes, but I managed to look at her when I heard her hysterically laughing.
"Oh my God! I'm serious, man. Whew. It's so hot. My pussy's burning, Lex."
I usually got aroused after I smoked a jay or two, but this was an unfamiliar feeling. It was like I was ten times as horny as I had even been. I was so horny, it hurt.
She leaned over and unbuttoned my jeans. She started taking them off, and I assisted her by lifting my ass off the couch. Anything to stop the burning. She slid my panties off too. She got between my legs and started softly blowing on my clit.
"Blow harder. Damn."
I had closed my eyes again. I tasted blood. I realized I was biting my bottom lip hard as shit. I couldn't even feel it. I was fucked up. I took off my shirt and unhooked my bra.
"Take off my socks, Lex. Now. Hurry up."
"Move. You ain't blowing hard enough. I'ma go jump in the shower. It's hot. Ugh. I'm hot. It's hot! Move!"
I started laughing uncontrollably. My eyes were still closed and watering as I made my way to her bathroom. I was a naked as the day I was born, walking unsteadily. I entered the bathroom and left the lights off. I turned on the cold water and laid in the bathtub. I scouted under the running water and let it hit my clit. It wasn't doing anything for the burning sensation but it was making me even more aroused. I started rubbing my nipples. I heard myself moan. My clit was on fire. I heard Lex laughing loudly. I started calling to her.
"Lex! Lex! Lexy!" I started laughing harder.
She ran into the bathroom. She started laughing harder too.
"What the fuck are you doing, Jodi?"
I opened my eyes.
"I'm hot, Lex. It's hot." I laughter turned into sobs. "It won't stop burning."
I closed my eyes again and let the tears leave my eyes. I felt Lex over me. I looked up at her.
"Don't cry, Jodi. I'ma make you feel better. Okay?"
She kneeled down and started stroking my clit with one hand and pinching my right nipple with the other.
"Okay... uh, yeah." I started moaning again.
"Ahhhh. Ye-. Ye- ...yeah, Lexy."
"Jodi, get out the tub, baby."
I didn't think I could, feeling the way I was with her fingers invading my space.
She continued stroking my clit, between digging two fingers in my burning pussy.
She stopped easing my pain. I opened my eyes to see her standing over me again.
I made an effort to sit up, but was unsuccessful. She grabbed my arms and easily stood me up. She helped me out of the tub, and turned off the water. We walked to her bedroom side by side. She laid me down on the bed. My body was like lead. My eyes were glued shut.
"Girl, you're crazy." She laid next to me.
I found the strength and started pulling at her shirt. I felt angry.
"Take your damn clothes off. You ain't gonna have me naked alone."
She laughed at me.
"Demanding, motha fucka, aye?"
She sat up and took her shirt off. She stood and took off her jeans. She left on bra and panties on.
"My pussy is still hot. Blow on it for me." I was on some bipolar mess.
She walked over to her dresser and pulled out a purple vibrator. I heard her turn it on. The buzzing gradually became louder.
She quickly was on her knees and between my spread thighs. No time for foreplay, at the moment. I wanted her wet mouth on my pussy to smother the fire . She wasted no time in slipping the vibrator into my pussy. I swore, I was gonna melt the plastic. She wrapped her lips around my clit and started sucking it slowly and steadily increasing the pace. I felt her tongue ring press against my clit. I started tugging at my own nipples.
I started moaning loudly. It was turning me on that much more, her fingers playing around my asshole.
"Ooo." I felt out of breath.
She took the vibrator out, push it in and up; letting it hit those necessary ridges. I started screaming.
"Lex! Oh shit. Damn." I was panting then.
"Oh God." Deep breath.
She put the vibrator to the side and replaced it with her tongue and by then, I really couldn't breathe. I felt her put her thumb in my ass. My walls contract and release. Another moment passed, it felt as though she had placed all her fingers in me. My walls gripped her fingers, and everything in my body begged for release. With her free hand, she pulled back the skin that protected the most sensitive part of my clit. She flicked her tongue in just the right way, and I felt a long awaited orgasm begin. You would have thought I was praying, the way I was calling for the Lord.
"Oh God. Oh my God! Lex. Oh my God. Oh God. I'm cumming, Lex."
I pulled hard at her braids.
"Don't stop. You better not stop. Ahhhh... Mmmm... Ah."
She obeyed. I started jerking against her mouth. Within second, I came all over her lips, and fingers. She continued slowly licking me from my asshole to my clit. She occasionally dipped her tongue deeply within my aching essence, to catch the cum as it seeped from within me.
"You've always known what to do," I whispered with closed eyes.
Only she had not extinguished my flame. I had sobered up a bit and I was ready to taste her. It had been, what felt like years, since I smelled and dug deep in her. I was craving her then.
She returned to her position beside me, after awhile. I heard her laugh.
"What the fuck are you laughing at?"
I was taking my time catching my breath.
"I bet I know what you're thinking, being that silent."
I smiled, "what's that?"
She reached for my hand and placed it on her pussy. I licked my lips, as I felt the wetness seeping through her panties.
I felt my clit starting to burn again.
"You're a smart chick. Now, what would you like for me to do?"
I love to hear her say nasty shit in my ear. She got closer to me.
"I want you to suck on your pussy until she purrs for you."
I felt my clit start to throb harder.
"Is that so?"
For the one who was the most dominate of us two, she was not afraid to express herself concerning the things she wanted. I loved it. I sat up on my elbows and finally opened my eyes.
I watched her stand up, turn her back to me, and remove her bra. I smiled as she moved to the beat of the music coming from the living room.
"You like it?"
I simply nodded and licked my lips as I watched her bend over. She slowly took her panties off. If I had my pants on, I'd reach for a few dollars and tip her. She started fondling her pussy. She slipped in a finger and stood up straight. She turned around and walked over to me. Lex put her wet finger in my mouth and I just about lost my mind. She climbed on top on me. I felt the heat coming from her pussy. I laid back and let her grind on me. She stared me in the eyes, and rode my clit steadily.
"I missed you, Joey. Tell me you missed me." She started moving faster. Her breath started to quicken.
"Yeah, I missed you."
She closed her eyes and let her moans escape her.
"I... know... you... did. Shit!" Nothing was sexier than Lex biting that big bottom lip. "Baby, I wanna cum... I wanna cum. You gonna let ya Lexy baby cum?"
I flipped her on her back and started to suck her left, then right nipple. I placed two fingers deep in her and watched her squirm beneath me.
"Joey! Ah. Damn... yes. Baby. Yes."
I continued to move in and out of her. I felt her walls tighten, gripping my fingers. I let all my frustration, my anger, my fear, my resentment, and things negative go at that point. I missed her, so I decide to let her feel it. I pounded into her, the way I knew she liked it.
"I love you, Lex."
I made my way quickly down to her pussy. I kissed everywhere from her lips to her lips. I reached her pussy, I spread her lips widely with one hand, and started fucking her with my tongue. I felt her clit pulsate against my lip.
"Baby. Fuuuuck. Joey... Joey. God."
She ached her back and pulled my head closer to my pussy. She was extremely wet and I loved every bit of it. I relished in her juices and let her grind against my face. I grabbed the vibrator next to her, I moistened it with the juices that dripped from her pussy, and inserted it slowly into her asshole. I sucked on her clit harder and rubbed my own pussy, with my free hand. I put two fingers in my pussy, then in her mouth. Her moans were muffled.
"Shhh. Whew. Shit. I'm cumming, Jodi. I'm... yeah."
I took my fingers out of her mouth and pulled her lips back wider, while continuing to assault her asshole.
"Yes. Yes. Yes. God. Okay. Okay. Uh huh. Whew." She tried to breathe... but she was breathless.
Her right leg became stiff and after a minute, I smelled the scent of Alexis' cum. I blew on certain spots that caused her legs to shake. She came in my mouth and I savored her inner self. When she stopped twitching, I laid next to her, and gently grazed her still sensitive clit.
"Yeah, I missed you."
I laid in her arms that night and many nights since then. We listened to the beating of each others hearts and feasted for all the months we hadn't. I realized there was nothing more that I wanted than to go to sleep and wake up in her arms. She was my everything. People make mistakes. We got over hers.
We're coming up on our fifth anniversary. And to think, I wasn't gonna meeting her at "the spot" that night. Trice is going to be the maid of honor at our wedding... as if she had a choice. Moral of the story-follow your heart. Following mine paid off.
Copyright © 2006. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.