It's funny how you have to go through a lot of pain just to get a reward or a peace of mind. But I see now that it makes you stronger, wiser, and thankful to God that you made it through. The good part about the reward is that if you have someone you love, you can share that one good thing in life with them, instead of sharing it alone. Check this out.
I'm finally on my way to independence. I'm twenty-one, single, sexy, and scared out of my mind. I have chosen to start my independence by moving out of my parent's house in Alabama to my own apartment in Houston, Texas. Big move, but a good one. I think it's a blessing if anyone moves from Alabama. I've been there half my life; I need a new experience and more choices. Can't get much of that staying in my neighborhood. I was struggling for a job, my music wasn't sounding right, and I was on drugs. I needed a new start.
After my 9 hour trip carrying a U-haul, I finally arrived in Houston. From the looks, I can tell that Houston is my kind of city. While in awe, I called my mother to tell her I made it safely and that I was on my way to find my ex-girlfriend's house. My mom's nerves calmed down and she wished me luck. Now I'm really freaked out and mama isn't close by anymore. That's the most sickening feeling in the world. I need to talk to my ex, LeeLee, and smoke a sweet, maybe then I can relax.
"Hey LeeLee, it's me Nykki."
"Hey Nick baby, you here yet?"
"Yeah, I might need you to come scoop me up and help me find this apartment."
"No prob. Where are you at now?"
"I'm on 59-South, about to take the Fondren exit."
"Okay, once you get on Fondren, make a right and wait for me at Jack-N-A-Box."
"Nothing. How long is it going to take you?"
"About ten minutes."
"Alright then, I'll be waiting."
"I can't wait to see you."
"And you going to be late, talk to you when you get here."
"I miss your sauciness. See you in ten."
After we hung up, I leaned back and smiled. You see, LeeLee was my first love. She was born in Alabama and we went to school together as kids. I remember when I first moved to Alabama and met her. It was the first day of school and I was going to the 3rd grade. I was so shy that I sat in the back of class. LeeLee sat next to me and passed me a note. The note said: My name is LeeLee. Can I be your friend? I smiled then looked at her. In my mind I was thinking, she's too girly to be my friend, because I was a tomboy. But I needed a friend so I introduced myself.
That was the beginning of a new friendship and a foundation of a beautiful relationship in years to come. It was my 13th birthday and LeeLee had stayed the night. I could tell there was something on her mind, but I wasn't going to ask. I was going to wait until she wanted to talk about it.
"Nykki, I have another gift I wanna give you, but I'm not sure about how you're going to take it."
"Try me and let's see."
"Yeah!" I replied with a big smile on my face.
"Okay, close your eyes then."
As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt her presence coming closer to me and she gave me my first ever kiss. I didn't know how to respond, so I went with the flow of it. As soon as it was over, I didn't want it to end.
"I just wanted your first kiss to be with me and to be special."
"Cool, but don't ordinary girls suppose to kiss a guy first?"
"Yeah, I guess. But I just wanted it to be with me. Don't ask why because I don't know. Matter of fact, let's drop it and move on."
As years went on, I began to find myself being attracted to girls. I never did tell LeeLee this considering she was dating guys and never did show any signs of being gay since our first little kiss. I was secretly gay and it was killing me that I couldn't tell anybody. I decided that I was going to come out to my parents' first, see how they react, and then try it on LeeLee. To my surprise, my parents didn't flip out. So this gave me the encouragement to tell LeeLee.
Ironically, it was our first day as seniors in high school, and I had mixed emotions about telling LeeLee I was gay. I saw her standing at her locker with this new guy and my blood started to boil. That was when I realize that I might be in love with LeeLee. That was too much for me to handle at once. This just made my coming out moment harder. She saw me and signaled me to come over. As soon as I got to her locker, she introduced me to her new boyfriend, Corey. I shook his hand and thought about how much I wanted to kick his ass. Lee could tell that I didn't like him. She pulled me aside to talk.
"Nykki, what's wrong? You don't like him?"
"Hell no and later on I need to talk to you."
"Why don't you like Corey?"
"He looks like an asshole."
"No he doesn't. What you need to talk to me about?"
"You'll see later on. What are you doing for lunch?"
"I was planning to chill with you."
"Cool. Meet me at my car at lunch. Bye."
Yes, that was cold, but I was scared. For four hours I was contemplating on how I was going to tell LeeLee I was in love with her. At the last minute, I chickened out. I ran to my locker to put up my books and get my keys. I was hoping LeeLee wasn't waiting for me at my car, because I was just going to play ghost on her ass, but with my luck, she was leaning on my car, smiling at me. My heart instantly skipped a beat. I thought to myself, "no turning back now." We got into the car and I turned my radio on and had it on blast. No words were spoken until we got to Burger King.
"Nykki, you haven't said a word to me yet. What's on your mind?"
"I'll tell you when we get back to the school parking lot."
"Okay. Hey you haven't said anything about my hair or my new outfit."
"My bad, you look nice. Who did your hair? Eric?"
"Yeah, that man is so talented, especially being a fag and all."
Even with a juicy Double Whopper in my mouth, my mouth went dry and my stomach turned when she said that. Then I thought, it's either now or never.
"It's hard for me to say this, so please bear with me. For awhile now, I've been back and forth trying to find a way to tell you something, but I'm afraid it's going to destroy our friendship. I value our friendship because you're the only person besides my parents I can talk to. But I realized that I don't want to carry this secret anymore, so I'm going to tell you. LeeLee, I'm a lesbian.
"Is that it?"
"I think I may....be in love with you."
There was a long ass silence after that came out of my mouth. I looked over at her and saw no expression. I wanted to ask her what was she thinking about, but I was too much of a chicken shit to ask her. So as soon as we got back to school, I turned the car off and told her to make sure the door was locked when she left. I grabbed my saxophone and headed to band practice. I regretted telling her & I didn't want to see her again. I was too embarrassed. As soon as school was over, I went to my car and there was a note on my window:
Nykki, just so you know. I don't hate you nor am I mad at you. I'm more glad than anything. You see, I realized I like females when I was 12, but like you, I didn't want to say anything out of fear. So for five years now, I've been living a lie. I don't like dating dudes. I only use them as a cover up. To be honest with you, when I'm out on a date, I be sitting there wishing I was with you. I've loved you for a long time. I love you so much that I'm convinced we're soul mates. Nykki, my prayers have been answered. Come by my place after your night band practice. We'll talk more later. Smooches.
It seemed like Heaven came down to Earth. I was so relieved. Needless to say, we began dating after that day. Moments with her were priceless. I cherish that woman and still do today. When we broke up, it was a mutual thing. She was transferring colleges and I was knee deep into my music. It was like we had no time for each other. It was kind of sad because I still believe she could have gone to Alabama State and still had time for me. But she wanted to attend Prairie View A&M and be hours and three states away from me. Even though it was a mutual break-up, I was hurting badly. She was my first, always around, and my best-friend. Mentally, I couldn't accept her choice, but I had no choice but to.
Two Years Later . . .
I was meeting LeeLee and my nerves were shot to hell. I wonder if her feelings have changed. Maybe I'll see sooner or later. More likely later, because she's ten minutes late. I wonder what's keeping her. I hope she hurry up because it looks like it's going to rain and she knows I have a phobia of thunder and lightning. I'm a punkass stud when it comes down to bad weather. Speaking of rain, I gotta go pee now. Let me call this girl and see where the hell she's at.
"LeeLee, where in the hell are you?!"
"Sitting in my car looking at you."
"What the fuck?! Where are you?"
"Look to your right."
Oh shit! Babygirl is even more beautiful than the last time I saw her. I got out the car, ran up to her, picked her up and spun her around. Just holding her felt good. I didn't want to let her go but it's about to rain and the leasing office closes in an hour.
"Nykki, damn baby, you look hella good. I can tell you've been working out."
"May I ask how can you tell?"
"Your embrace is so secure and strong. Never felt that good before."
"So you trying to say when I use to hold you it didn't feel as good?" I said with a smile.
"No bighead. That isn't what I meant."
"I know boo. You look good too. Your style has gotten even more feminine, your eyes are still mesmerizing. Damn Lee, you look sexy as hell."
"So I wasn't before?"
"Shut up monkey." I said laughing. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah, but before we go, I have a little surprise for you."
"Oh Lord, I forgot how spontaneous you can be."
"Hursh, now close you eyes and hold your hand out."
I felt money, so I opened my eyes and saw $500.
"Lee, what's this for?!"
"I'm giving you the money you put down on your apartment."
"Cuz...I want you to live with me. I've been missing you everyday since I left. I missed you so much that I regretted leaving home. There have been times, I literally got in my car and drove all the way to Mississippi and turned back around."
"Why did you turn around? Why didn't you come to see me?"
"I was afraid. Afraid that you might have been seeing somebody else and I couldn't are the sight of you being happy with someone else. So I turned around."
"I have three questions for you. One, have you forgotten that my priorities are God, me, my parents, you, music, then friends? Two, how in the hell you get the money for gas for them trips? And three, can we go home now?"
Lee's facial expression went from worried to excited. I pulled her to me and gave her a kiss.
"Ooh Nykki! I missed those soft lips. I almost forgot how soft there were."
"I miss kissing you too. Let's get out of here."
I got in my truck and followed her to my new home. I was so ecstatic about sharing my first home with her and that her feelings hadn't change. We finally pulled into a driveway and my mouth dropped. My baby got us a house, not an apartment, but a house. I said to myself. I got out of my truck and headed towards her car.
"Baby, how did you afford this?
"The surprise doesn't stop here."
As soon as she opened the front door, I was in Happy land. Lee had the place set up exactly how we always imagined when we first started dating. She had red and black leather sofas and chairs. The kitchen was white and black, almost in a checkered pattern. We had two shower heads in the shower and a Jacuzzi style bathtub.
"Lee, is this house a spin-off of Pimp My Ride? Cuz I love what you done with place."
"I knew you would. Once again, it doesn't stop there. Follow me to the basement."
"You are killing me with these surprises. What's next, a recording studio in the basement?"
"You'll have to see."
"No, you didn't Lee. Please tell me you didn't." She did. The basement was my own little place of work and creativity. I just stood there, motionless.
"So what you think?" she asked.
"I think it's fantastic. You're fantastic. I love you Leena McCloud."
"I love you too Nicole Thornton." Lee stood in front of me and moved her hands up my shirt to around my back. "You ready to break the house in?"
"Yeah, but I need a shower first."
"Okay, I'm going to take one with you."
"Oooh kinky. I like that. Let me get my bag out of the truck and I'll meet you in there."
As soon as I got to my truck, I sat there and cried. This was all too much. I never experienced this much love. Even though I'm not a materialistic person, anybody would love to receive her dream home. This is truly a blessing. I have my first love back in my life, a dream house, and a recording studio. I'm the happiest stud right now. My baby went out of her way to do this for me. But how did she afford this? That's the one thing that keeps nagging at me. I'll have to ask her later.
On my way to the bathroom, I opened the bedroom door and smelled Lee's favorite incense, Black Love, burning. "Lee, that smells good. It brings back memories." I yelled from the bedroom.
"I know. What you doing babe?"
"Undressing. I'll be in there in a minute."
I had put on my robe and walked in the bathroom. I saw that Lee was in the shower already, but the steam from the shower fogged up the shower doors. I took off my robe and joined her. She looked at me and signaled for me to turn around, so she can start off washing my back. I didn't want to turn around because I wanted a longer view of her curvaceous and wet form. Just the sight of water running down her body was making my clit hard.
After Lee bathed me, which was torture to my pussy, I gave her a deep passionate kiss. I could tell she wanted it more so I gave her more. I leaned down and guided my mouth over her nipple. LeeLee then made slight moans as I tongue-teased her breasts. Her pussy was on my mind heavily and I was being impatient, so I spread her legs apart and slowly massaged her clit.
"Mmm Nykki. I missed you so much." She whispered in my ear. I turned the water off and grabbed us both a towel.
"Babe, go lay down I'll be in there in a second to lotion you up ma." I said.
"Aww how sweet."
Since Lee likes to surprise people, I'm going to surprise her ass tonight too. It's not anything compared to what she did for me, but it's stimulating. I can guarantee that. After I had given her a rub down, I laid down next to her. She laid her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arm over me. "What's on your mind love?" I asked.
"I was just thinking about times like this that we shared in college. I never could be myself with anyone, just you."
"You never laid with anyone naked before?" I said chuckling.
"No seriously. I never had a serious connection with anybody like I do with you."
"Lee, do you remember when I first came out to you and what you wrote to me in that letter?"
"Yeah, that we're soul mates."
"Exactly. What you feel with your soul mate is something that you will never feel with a stranger to your heart."
"I figured that out the hard way."
"When I left, I was devastated. I needed someone to make me feel like how you made me feel when I was with you. But I never did find it. And now, that I have you again, I'm not letting you go. It's you that connects me to the good and humble things in my life. And I will always love you for that."
"And I will always love you."
We began kissing each other passionately until she got demanding. "Nykki, I want to feel you now! Fuck my pussy baby!" She said in an almost whining tone.
I told her to sit on my face so when she's ready she can ride my tongue. I circled her clit with my tongue and began sucking on her clit. "Mmm yeah...suck it harder...aww shyt...damn Nykki!" I could feel her pussy getting wetter and hotter. I wanted to give her the best fucking she ever had. I slapped her ass (that's my signal for her to get up) and laid her on her back, kissing her. Then I blindfolded her and spread her legs open. I shoved my fingers deep inside her pussy, giving her slow thrusts, and then sped my pace up. "Ooh shit....fuck my pussy...damn that feels good...oohh fuck!!!" I slowed down and told her to get on her knees. This is where my surprise came in. While I was finger fucking her pussy from the back, I was struggling to put on my strap. "Baby, mmm baby, what you doing? Why you stop?" "Nothin, just enjoy." I began to massage her clit to distract her while I was strapping up. I spread her pussy lips apart and saw that beautiful canal. I gave it one good, hard lick, then slid the head of my strap in and teased her a bit. "Ooh Nykki, where that come....oooh shit...aww damn...fuck me...yes...mmmmhmm!!"
I was fucking the shit out of her and she couldn't move anywhere. All she could do is bounce back. She wanted to face me, so I took the blindfold off and laid on my back. As she was riding, I sat up and started nibbling on her nipples.
"Mmmhmm, you love this don't you baby?!"
"Oooh fuck yeah!"
"Yeah, babygirl loves it when I fuck that deep, hot, wet, throbbing pussy, don't you?!"
"Ooh shit yeah! I'm about to cum Nykki!! I'm going to drip for you baby!! Oooh shit!!"
"That's it, cum for Nykki baby. Yeah. Do that!!"
We embraced each other as she climaxed and the feeling felt so good and long over due. I bet if someone took a picture of us right now, the picture would be priceless. It's a beautiful thing to hold your woman, rocking each other, and kissing.
"Oh baby I missed you. No one has ever made me feel and cum like that. Baby, you're amazing. And where the hell you get a strap from?! I thought that wasn't your style?" she said smiling.
"I got it about a year ago. You remember Melinda from high school?"
"Yeah, she's the bitch who beat me out of Senior Homecoming Queen."
"Yeah, her. Well one day, I was at the park, playing my saxophone, and she came up to me. I totally didn't recognize her."
"She's a hard stud. She has a boy-cut, gained 30 pounds, and had the nerve to tell me to suck her dick."
"Ooh you lying," she said laughing.
"I promise you. But anyways, I started chilling with her and she took me to the Smoke Shop. And all the way in the back, they had sex toys. Melinda grabs this box and says she needs to get a bigger one cuz her girl's pussy is getting too loose. I was like oh my God! So then she asked me do I have one and I said no. So she bought me one and I named it Mariah Carey or MC."
"Why Mariah Carey?"
"You didn't hear them high notes you was hitting a few minutes ago?" I said laughing as I held onto Lee tighter.
"Shut up! If you weren't working that dick so good, I probably wouldn't have been screaming like that."
"That's the point."
"Well I have a point to make."
"And what's that?" I said as I watched her climb down between my legs.
She began teasing my inner thighs with light kisses. Every kiss that was an inch from my pussy, I felt my pussy jump. "Baby, stop teasing." I said impatiently. She came up and put her finger over my lips and told me to hush. She pulled my wife beater off and started sucking, licking, and biting my nipples. "Mmm Lee, that feels good. Please don't stop." I felt her hand covering my pussy, and then she slid her finger up and down my slit, making me moan and bite my bottom lip. Out of now where, she quickly slid 2 fingers deep inside me causing be to gasp and clench the sheets. She knows I like fast fucking, so she pumped her fingers in and out of me as hard and as fast as I love it. I was matching her thrust with my hips and moaning uncontrollably. "Mmm shyt! Lee, damn, I feel it! I feel it!" As I felt myself climaxing, I felt Lee's tongue on my clit. The feeling I felt was unbelievable and embarrassing. Never had I cum that fast before in my life.
"Nykki, you ok? Why you got the pillow over your face?"
"Your baby is embarrassed." I said muffled.
"Why?" she said laughing.
"Because I busted that nut too damn quick for my own good."
Lee started laughing harder.
"Baye, I take it as a compliment, so you shouldn't be embarrassed."
"It's been too damn long since I came like that."
"Same here. Mmm, Nykki baby, can you hold me for the rest of the night?"
"That was my intentions. I'll unpack and organize my things in the morning. Right now, I wanna hold you and never again let you go."
"Never let me go baye."
As we were lying there, this question kept nagging the hell out of me. How in the hell did she afford this? I mean, we both graduated this year. What kind of job did she have? I need to ask her now before I lose sleep and my mind over this. "Lee, I have a question that's been burning me ever since we got here."
"What it is?"
"How did you afford this? And please be honest with me."
She sat up, sighed, and then stared at me. "You know when you're away from home and don't know anybody in the town that you're in, you have to struggle and hustle hard every day just to put money in your pockets, food on the table, and clothes on your back. Because nobody will give a fuck about you or your problems. Even though I was in school, things got hard for me. I couldn't find a decent paying job. I was starting to live like a bum. It's a shame when you start wondering where your next fifty cents or a dollar is coming from. So I did what most girls in my position would have done. I started stripping."
"So, you got all of this from stripping?" I asked confused.
"Not really. This is where my blessing came in. The club owner took me under her wing and fell for me. She felt a woman like me didn't need to go through what I did. So she began to spoil me. Nykki, this woman had 4 homes in 3 different states, seven cars, a damn helicopter, and $5m in her bank account alone. At one point, I felt like I was using her and that I should leave her, but then I remember how she saved me. I couldn't just leave her like that. So I stayed with her. Not too long after we got heavily involved with each other, she had gotten sick with lung cancer. Her family was never around, just me. All they were waiting for was her to die so they can get the money from her will.
"Unfortunately for them, after she passed, everything she left in her will went directly to me. I have all her houses, cars, helicopter, and her business and account in my name. That's how I got the money for this house. I had it remodeled for us. And when we have the free time, you'll see that I did the same for all the houses. I did everything for us. I wanted to share my blessing with you and only you. But I do owe Mrs. Grambling and God some praise, because if it wasn't for her having a blessing heart and God smiling on me, I wouldn't have what I have today, so soon. Does that answer your question?"
"Yeah and a lot more. I'm sorry to hear that you went through what you went through. Why didn't you call me and ask for help? You know I would have helped you out in anyway."
"I wanted to prove to myself that I can do things on my own. I didn't want to look weak and stupid to you."
"That wouldn't have happen and you know that."
"Maybe now I do, but back then, I wasn't sure. But now I have you here."
"Yes you do. And I'm proud of you. You stuck in there, went through trials and tribulations, and you got your award. You're a strong woman LeeLee. I admire you for that."
"Thanks boo. I love you too. Now can we go to sleep? I'm worked out and sleepy," she whined.
Needless to say, life got even better for the both of us. Lee made me co-owner of her club. I'm currently in the process of creating my own record label and I don't smoke weed as much as I used to.
Just remember, when it seems like life is getting unbearable, fight and stay in there, your blessing will surely come.
Copyright © 2005. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.