Life is funny ya know. You never really know whatís gonna happen, when or why. Some things are for the better. Some are for the worse, and even some are what you make it. Never in my life, did I think for one second my life would change the way it did, but I guess I was one of the lucky ones because I donít really think my life could get any better now. Donít get me wrong I had my speed bumps and detours but it was all worth it to be where I am now.
Four months ago me and my nigga was chillin' liven lavish in our own place and never having to want for anything. See Black was a pusher. Everybody in the hood knows him and also knows not to fuck with him. They called him Black 'cause he so cold hearted in the business and he doesnít take any shit! I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world to be Blackís lady. I got everything I wanted and then some. He kept me laced in all the latest, but part of me knew that wasnít enough.
His best friend was a female. It didnít bother me because she wasnít your average female. She was a stud. I must admit sista girl was fine. Her and Black would sit around and exchange stories and fantasies and Iíd listen and secretly fantasize about being the girls in her stories. Most of the time Iíd shake the thought but when I didnít I found myself wanting her.
For a female she was hella hard core. I guess you have to be when you in the game. All I knew her by was J-Rocc. I had known her about as long as I had known Black and thatís all I had ever heard her being called. She was cool as hell, and real funny. I loved to be around her when they wasnít wrapped up in they runs. Sometimes I felt kind of bad for lusting over her. I mean, dat was my dudeís best friend. What was I thinking?!?!
One night Black was late coming home. I knew hustlaz had no 9 to 5 but he always made it his business to get home at a decent time. Since its just Black, and me I usually walk around in my tank top and panties or something like that. I was in the kitchen when I heard a knock on the door. I figured Black had left his keys so I didnít bother with covering myself up. I put a smile on my face and swung the door open. I was surprised to see J-Rocc standing there. Her eyes where wide as she looked at me from head to toe. I guess she realized I could tell what she was doing she jarred herself out of her gaze and asked was Black home.
"Um naa he not here yet." I looked at her and realized her face was swollen. Although she tried to look down or away from me I could still tell.
"Damn you kno bout when my nigg gone be in?"
"Naa, he aint called or nothin. Whassup doe is anything wrong?"
She looked up at me as if she was surprised to hear me say that. This was the first time I had noticed how pretty her eyes were. They were gray with little specs if brown and the light in the hallway was hitting them just right. I had got caught up until I saw a single tear drop.
Before I could say anything she turned to walk away and said, "Iím cool just tell ya boy to hit me up when he get in."
She had barely reached the stairs when I yelled, "Donít try to play me J. Come in."
"Naa I donít wanna bug you ma."
I folded my arms. "Now!" Without hesitation she came back.
When I closed the door behind use she just stood there. Not paying attention I went and sat down on the couch Indian style. When I looked up she was still standing there. I laughed to myself.
"Damn J donít get brand new. You can sit down." She couldnít do anything but laugh herself, and sit at the far end of the couch. We sat there in silence for a minute. I could tell she was nervous by the way that she was all hugged up on the arm of the couch. I decided to go ahead and break that. I scooted closer to her.
"You look like something is bothering you. Whas wrong?" It took her a while to answer.
"This job yo its getting too heated ionno if I canÖ"
She paused and looked at me. "What?" I said.
"I donít think I can talk to you about this, Ma." She began to get up and walked towards the door. Iíll just come back when ya boy getsÖ"
I got up and ran for the door before she could get there. I looked her dead in her eyes, "Donít go. Talk to me." She stared at me from head to toe. I saw her eyes focus on my legs then the "taste me" sticker that was on my boy shorts. I broke the silence, "J." She jarred herself from her train of thought and looked me right in my eyes. Without warning a single tear dropped. Then another. Not once did she take her eyes from mine. I slowly moved closer to her. I reached out to gently grab her face but she turned away. I took her face into both of my hands and made her look at me. All of a sudden her single tears became an out-pour of cries.
"I just want out!" she cried. "I just watched two cats get popped cause they came up short, and I cant take this shit no moreÖ" her words trailed off but her tears didnít. I wiped her tears away with my thumbs then softly laid my lips on hers. She took my hands away from her face but didnít let go. In almost a whisper she said, "Nah, I cant do that." For some odd reason, my eyes began to water and I donít know whether it was curiosity or her vulnerability that made me want her so much. All I knew is that I had to have her. Hold her. Make her feel like she could always feel safe with me if not anybody else. The fear that I saw in her eyes made me want to be the one to take all her troubles away.
I began to think about how I longed to live a normal safe life. To have the one I love at home with me and not on the streets with the possibility of never coming home. Black would never give up the game for me. He didnít love me that much, nor did I love him enough to ask that of him. Standing there looking into Jís eyes made me see something I had been running from for so longÖ it was her I wanted cause it was her I loved. In the back of my mind I knew she didnít feel the same way so I took my hands from her and began to walk away.
"Sorry J-Roc. I was trippin'. Iím sure you can let yourself out."
Before I could make it past her she grabbed my arm and said, "Jessomia"
I turned to her with somewhat of a confused look on my face. "What?"
She gave me a half smile. "Thatís my name. Jessomia Ivory Rockford." I smiled. Surprised she had opened up enough to tell me that.
"Thatís pretty. Its different". Her eyes brightened and said, "Thank you."
Once again silence took us over but not long into it I said, "You should go so I can lock the door before I go to bed." She pulled me closer to her and placed her hand in the small of my back. We were almost close enough for our lips to touch.
"Do you really want me to go?" she asked while pushing my hair from my face. Before I could answer she kissed me. She gently sucked on my bottom lip then slid her tongue inside my mouth. She massaged my lips with her own. I felt her hands move down and grab my ass to pull me closer. The deeper she kissed, the more she touched me, the wetter my pussy got. She made a trail of kisses down to my neck and between each few kisses she said,
"IÖwantÖyouÖSunshine." For a moment my heart stopped. Sunshine was what she had called me when we first met, and I smiled at her. Secretly, I had wanted her to continue calling me that. I thought it was cute and sweet. I had not heard her call me that in years and to hear it again made my heart melt.
The door rattled and we both jumped away from one another. Black went to swing the door open but since the chain was in the door it caught.
"Ionno why you put this chain on here when you knew I was coming home. Come undo dis door woman!" Black said in a frustrated voice. Jessomia and I were still quiet. Still staring at one another. Still motionless. Black slammed his fist into the door and yelled, "Kyra come open tha damn door!"
That scared me so without
hesitation I ran to unhook the door. Black walked in and looked me up and down. He put an evil smile on his face and said, "Damn baby, you know I like it when you walk around with all dat ass hangin out!" Then, he slapped me on my ass and walked by me. He immediately spotted J-Roc on the couch, and they went into they lilí thug hug. The look in Jís eyes hurt me. She looked at me as if to say "how dare I let someone else touch something what ultimately belonged to her." What shocked the hell out of me was that I felt the same way. After that brief stare down between J and I, I had to excuse myself from the room.
Over the next couple of weeks Jessomia was nowhere to be found. At least not by me. Iíd hear Black on his cell making plans to hook-up with her, but after that night I was never allowed to go. I donít know what J told him, or even if she got a chance to tell him what she told me. All I know is a lot of shit changed for the worse. Black began to treat me like any one of his clients looking for a fix. He hadnít hit on me or anything, but I can honestly say hitting meÖthe pain would have went away much faster than his words hitting me like slow poisonous snake bites. Every little thing I did wrong, I was called everything but a child of God. I knew it had something to do with our bedroom action or the lack there of and the distance that I was keeping from him. If you think about it, who can blame me? I had fallen in love with a female who was a stud. I may not know much about the rainbow world, but I do know once you in aint no creeping back.
The longer I went without J, the more I longed to be with her. The more I longed to be with her, the worse things got with Black and me. One day we got into a real harsh argument. It went from the food I had cooked not tasting right to the house not being clean enough. Then, it went to the fact that I donít give up the goodies no more.
I heard him mumble, "I bet if dat nigga Roc roll around here you would drop dem draws." I guess I got offended because I knew it was true, and another part of me was mad that I had been so obvious to him.
I turned to him and said as snappy and nasty as I could, "Donít act like dat shit in your pocket is the only "Lil glass Dick" you given away." I could tell by the look on his face what I said had hit a nerve. Before I knew it, he was above me with his hands around my neck. I kicked and I tried to scream but nothing would come out. I knew that if I kept struggling I would only make it worse. So I focused as much as I could and took my knee and pushed it as hard as I could between his legs. Almost immediately he let go.
I didnít even look down at him. I got up holding my neck, grabbed my purse and ran. I saw J coming up the hall and I ran right pass her. I heard her yell, "Yo, Ky whas wrong?" I didnít stop or look back just kept running.
When I ran out, I had left the door wide open. Later, J told me what went down. She ran the rest of the way to the door and saw Black lying on the floor in pain. J ran to him and asked, "Say man what happened?"
Black rolled over the best he could and said with pain still etched in his voice, "Dat bitch kicked me in my shit! I called ha on yo shit. Told ha how she be ridin' yo nuts, and she mouthed offÖso I choked dat hoe!"
Jís face filled with anger. "You a lil bitch cuz! You donít put yo hands on no damn female ova no bullshit."
Black challenged what she had said by replying,"Dat bitch stepped outta line so she got what she damn well deserved."
"What she deserves is somebody betta than yo bullshit ass." J said as she walked towards the door. Black walked up to her. J continued, "I began watching you treat Kyra like shit for tha past few months and dat shit aint right."
Black looked up and said, "Naa my nigg. I wouldnít have to whoop ha ass if she wasnít tryna suck on yo plastic ratha than be wit her nigga!"
J-roc looked into Blackís eyes with pure anger. She turned to walk out the door then paused and said, "You know whatÖ" then she rared back and punched Black right in the jaw. Black hit the floor grabbing his face. J looked down on him and said, "If you was doing ya job she wouldnít be ridin' my plastic you, dumb fuck!" With that J walked out the door and all Black could do was look crazy and slam the door behind her with his foot.
I was chilliní in my getaway spot. In the park, in the park sitting in the middle of huge Oak tree looking over the lake. This was my happy place. I come here to write or just get away from everything. I also felt somewhat like a kid again when I was up here because kids were the only people I ever saw playing in or around this tree. I was laying on a branch with one-foot dangling and tears running down my face. I was deep in thought still rubbing my neck where Black had choked me knowing it had bruised by now. I was in a straight daze. A lot was in my mind and not just this bullshit with Black. The ringing of my phone broke my daze. Without even looking at the ID, I pressed a button to ignore the call. It rang again. I was about to ignore it again but something made me answer. Once again I didnít look at the ID. I just placed the phone to my ear and said, "Speak."
"Hey Ma. You aight?"
I sat up. I knew this voice anywhere but I asked anyway, "Who is this?"
"Well donít I feel played. As long as youíve known me you donít even know a nigga voice Kyra?" I could tell she said that with a smile on her face attempting to lighten the situation. I must admit I had no choice but to smile.
"Iím sorry J. Iím just going through some things right now." I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my face and finished, "My mind is in a million different places right now." It was quiet for a few seconds. I could hear traffic on her end so I deduced that she was in her car. Finally, she broke the silence.
"I wanna see you Sunshine. I know what went down. I gotta see you Kyra. You need someboÖ" I cut her off.
"Iím in the park. Oak tree by the lake."
"Aight Ma. Iím on my way." We hung up.
It took J all of five minutes to get to me. So that let me know one of two things: either she was really close or she was seriously trying to get to me. It put a smile on my face to think about the latter. She came and stood under the tree. She looked around then walked to the bank of the lake. She stood there for a while kicked some rocks around then turned and walked back under the tree. I giggled to myself. She seemed to be getting quite impatient. She flipped open her phone; I assumed to look at the time. The she closed it and said to herself, "Where tha hell is this woman!?" I decided to mess with her a little so I called her name, "JessomiaÖ" She looked around and I could tell she was thinking Ďwhat the fuckí. I laughed way louder than I meant to, and that made her jump, which made my laughter more intense. She looked up and saw me hanging off the branch. I looked down at her still deep in laughter and said, "Fear is so sexy on you!"
She threw up her middle finger at me and said, "Ha ha very fucking funny." She looked at me. I could tell she was holding in her laugh. That made me laugh even harder, and finally she had no choice but to join me.
It took a minute for us to calm down. When I was able to catch my breath I said to her, "Climb up here with me." She looked at how high I was then looked at the ground. She did it again. I smiled.
"Its not that far J. Now címon."
She ran her fingers through her braids and let out a huge sigh.
"Naa Ma. Me and heights donít really get along. How about you come down here with me.
"Look itís easy. Iíll talk you through it, okay?" I looked at her with the saddest face I could possibly make myself make.
She tried not to look at me but she couldnít help herself. She ran her fingers through her hair again then smiled. "Aight Ma. Lemme know somthiní."
I clapped my hands and said, "Yay!" she couldnít help but laugh.
I explained to her how to place her feet and where to hold her hands.
"Yea thas it. Now step up." I donít know what happened exactly, but she did something wrong within the next step because she slipped and fell flat on her back.
" Oh my God J!" I quickly hung myself from the branch I was sitting on, and let myself fall to my feet. The fall was kind of high so I had to bend to catch myself on my hands. I had forgotten all I had on was a sports bra and come balling shorts, and a small jacket that I keep in my car. When I stood, J was watching me. Studying every inch she could see. I ran to her side and asked was she okay.
" See das whyÖIon fuck wit heights!" She sat up and groaned in pain.
I rubbed her back and said,"Now getcha ass up dis damn tree." She looked at me as if to say fuck no, but I gave her a Ďwhateverí look so she got up. It took a while, but she got up there. When I came up there, she shot her middle finger at me because of the ease in which I got up there. All I could do was laugh.
She looked around, but was reluctant to move, which was quite funny to me. She got comfortable, "Damn dis in nice. Kinda homey if you wanna be honest."
I smiled. "I know right. This my lil get away spot."
She looked at me. Seriousness in her eyes.
"What you do up here?" Avoiding eye contact, I played with my shoestrings.
"I write. Think. Sing. Jus chill." I looked up. She cracked this huge smile. "What?"
"Damn Sunshine, I aint know you had dem vocals."
I laughed. "Damn I aint think you still called a nigga Sunshine."
Her huge smile dropped to a nervous one, "YeaÖbut ummm donít be trying to change the subject. Gone and bust a note for me."
I moved around until I was in a comfortable position. I was silent for a second. I took a deep breath then with all my heart and soul I began to sing Emotional Rollercoaster by Vivian Green. It was the first thing that popped in my head cause thatís exactly what I was feeling. Before I knew it, I was done with the whole song. I didnít realize it but tears were falling from my eyes. When I opened them J had this astonished look on her face. We stared for a while in silence. Tears still falling. She crawled over to me and sat down in front of me then motioned for me to come to her. I went. She wiped the tears away from my eyes with her thumbs. She held my face so gentle and looked into my eyes with so much concern.
She broke the silence,"Talk to me Ma. Whas wrong?" I didnít answer--just fell into her arms and cried. She held me tight and rocked me until I was ready.
In less than 20 minutes, J knew everything there was to know about me. I had told her things Iíve never told anyone. I told her about my abusive father. My dope head mom, and how I ran away from everything I knew just to be with Black.
I was leaned back with my head in her chest. She had one around me, and she was playing with my fingers with her free hand. "Damn Kyra, and I thought my life was hell."
"Yea, I neva once thought it would happen with Black though. He promised to take me away to something better not worse." I sighed, "Guess thas why Iím so hurt."
She sat me up and made me face her. She looked me straight in my eyes and said,"Well, I can fix that." She leaned forward and kissed me. This made heat cover my whole body. Her kiss was amazing. It was deep and intense, yet at the same time soft and gentle. She made small light kisses to my neck, and I moaned but it was barely audible. She sunk her teeth into my neck and pulled gently. My body shook and I moaned. Her kisses lit fire to every part of my skin she touched. She moved her hands up and down my stomach then softly traced my navel. I couldnít help but laugh cause it tickled.
She smiled at me, and I got to see those eyes of hers again. I was caught in a daze staring into her eyes. I noticed her smile widen so I tore myself from my thoughts and asked, "Whas so funny?"
"Nothing. Just deep in thought thas all."
"Intrigue me." She laughed to herself.
"Oh we usen big words now?" I smiled.
"Well you know a sista do like to flaunt her intelligence every once in a while." Her smile turned into a big cheese. As she continued rubbing and tracing my stomach she began to say, "Iíve always thought you were beautiful. Always wondered why you was with Black ass too. Ion think he eva understood what he had before him." She paused but I didnít say anything. The look on her face changed. Its kind of hard describe, but if I had to put something to it, sista girl looked mad hongry. No, not hungry but hongry.
She looked at me then kissed my stomach. Between kisses she said, "Ionno what it is about you Ma, but you got me thankiní some thangsÖ wantiní to do some thangs."
I took a deep breath through my teeth and said, "So whatís stopping you."
She raised an eyebrow and looked up at me. I think the huge smile on my face and the wanton look in my eye gave her the answer she was looking for because she went right to work.
She helped me out of my jacket then took off her own shirt and laid it up under me. She came back down and kissed me. The way she sucked and bit on my lips and tongue made my pussy so wet. She moved down to my neck gently kissing and sucking which made me moan. She took one hand and rubbed it across my breast and that made my nipples hard on contact. She then took her finger and circled around my nipple. She put her hands behind me and slid them under my bra. With ease J lifted my bra over my head and tossed it to the side. She kisses down my breast and when she got to my nipple she took it into her mouth. She kissed and sucked on my breast while using her other hand to play with my other breast. She then put my nipple between her teeth and flicked her tongue across it. When she was done she gave the opposite breast the same attention.
She made small kisses down my stomach to my navel where she paid extra attention. She swirled her tongue around it then slid her tongue in it. I moaned loud and before I knew it I said, "Oh my God! Why does this feel so good?!"
I heard her laugh, but it didnít slow her down. She slid her tongue from my navel to the top of my shorts. She grabbed the elastic with her teeth and pulled from the bottom so my shorts would slide right off. Underneath I had on a thong that said Ďsports babeí in the front, and it had a basketball, a bat, and a football on the part that laid in the small of my back. She chuckled and I heard her say just above a whisper, "Cute." I smiled.
She kissed right above my panty line then kissed each of my thighs. She spread my legs and propped them on her shoulders. She then kissed the top of my pussy and drug her tongue from there to my butt. My breathing got heavy, and I knew she could feel that my pussy got wetter. She slid her finger in the side of my panties and rubbed my pussy up and down. I moaned. She looked up at me and asked, "KyraÖ"
Trying to surpress a moan I faintly said, "HuhÖ" She stopped rubbing and focused on my clit. I bit my bottom lip trying not to get too loud.
"You sure dis what you want?" she said looking serious and never missing a beat.
"Yes, yes Iím sure." I said breathlessly. She leaned down and kissed my pussy lips. She put her hands in the backs of my legs and pushed them open wider. She eased her tongue between my pussy lips and slowly moved her tongue up and down. She took my clit between her lips and sucked in until my clit was barely between her teeth then she gently bit down making her teeth slide across the tip of my clit. This made me cry out, "J!"
Okay now I say maybe the first two got by me because J was making me feel so damn good, but the next few got to me and got to me good. "Ah J that feels so gooÖOUCH!" She sat up with a look of panic on her face.
"Whas wrong Ma? What I do?"
"Nothing its not you itsÖOUCH!"
"Are you okay?!"
"NoÖOUCH!ÖSHIT OUCH!!!" I jumped up slapping and scratching. J busted out in laughter at my frantics. I glared at her.
"Itís not fucking funny. I had fire ants on me and I got
She came to my side. "Aw shit Ma you aight?" I stood there still slapping and scratching. I heard J laugh and say, "Seems like I wasnít the only one enjoying tha way you taste." I must admit I was flattered, but I was offended cause she was picking fun at me. I hit her on her arm a few times which only made her laugh harder. She grabbed my hands and held them to her lips. As she looked into my eyes she kissed each of my fingers. Damn those eyesÖall I can say is damn.
"Lets go to my crib so I can get you cleaned up and itchless."
I couldnít help but laugh, and I said to her in a playful way, "Shut up!"
Watching J try to get out of that tree was the funniest thing Iíd ever seen. Finally, I just told her to watch me and do what I do. She almost had it but she slipped and ripped her T-shirt. She cursed loud so I knew she caught some skin. When I ran to her side she waved me off and claimed to be okay. I got kind of mad and I think it showed.
"Fuck that! Lemme see."
"Na Ma I said I was aight." I didnít say another word. I just yanked her towards me.
"Oh my God. Youíre bleeding!" she yanked away form me.
"Iím fine Kyra."
"No youíre not Ms. Hardass. It cut you kinda deep." She yanked herself away from me again.
"I said Iím fine."
"Whatís the matter? Why wont you let me help you?"
"Why do you care?"
I stopped in my tracks quite stunned that she would even ask me that. Thinking about the situation Iím in and how sheís trying to make it better, I looked at her dead in her face and said, "Why do you?" Nothing else was said. Nothing else needed to be said. The walk to the car and the ride home help complete silence.
When we walked through the door I was still slapping and scratching. J still found it funny. "You wanna get in the shower? I can give you something to put on."
"Yea thank you, but let me check your arm first." She rolled her eyes. I smiled. "You lil fuckin kid címere." Reluctantly, she came. We sat down on the couch and I tore the rest of her shirt off and used it to wipe the blood away.
"Well itís only a scratch. So you not gone bleed to death."
She smiled. "Oh, you got jokes."
"All you gotta do is make sure you wash it in the shower. It might burn but its gotta be cleaned. Then after you get out put a Band-Aid on it if you got some, aight?"
"Aight Dr. Project."
I couldnít help but laugh. "Fuck you, Iím not projectÖall the time." We both looked at each other and busted up laughing.
She stared at me for a while. "Damn Ma! That smile." She leaned over toward me and traced the lining of my lips with her tongue. I parted my lips and immediately out tongues met. She kissed me softly yet so intense. She pulled away but held on to my face. "Go get in the shower and wait for me. I got something for you." I know I lit up like a little kid in a candy store. She kisses me on my forehead and I got up and damn near floated to the bathroom.
I was in the shower for a while. I had eventually forgotten about J. Just closed my eyes and stood directly under the water. It was mostly hot water so this helped me relax and also ease the itch and pain of my ant bites. I had my hands propped up on the wall to keep my balance. I found myself humming Lyfe Jenningsís song Cry. I didnít hear the door open or close, but I heard the shower curtain when J stepped in. That made me jump but before I could turn around she put her hands on my hips and told me not to turn around. She kissed the back of my neck and whispered, "Bend over."
I did just that. She kissed down my back and ran her tongue from the small of my back, down my butt, and right into my pussy. I moaned, and I must have moved away from her cause she grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to her. This made her tongue go deeper inside me. She replaced her tongue with her finger, and made a come here motion against my g-spot. My legs got weak. She took her finger out and slid her tongue back inside. As she tongue fucked me she made sure she went as deep as she could. Without taking away her tongue she eased her finger up to my clit. My breathing was heavy. My legs were getting weaker by the second, and my moans were echoing through the bathroom. She eased her finger back inside me. She slid it back inside me then made that same Ďcome to meí motion again. I couldnít take it. I came. I came so hard that I had to fall to my knees.
J sat down behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me back so that I could lie on her chest. "Damn J. I--"
"Iím sorry. Jessomia, I never thought it got that serious. I donít believe Iíve ever cum that hard before. That shit ought to be illegal."
She laughed. "Well in that case ion think you can take what I had for you next." She took my hand and sucked on one of my fingers.
I turned to the side to look at her. "Why have you taken an interest in me all of a sudden?"
"Iíve been interested for a while. Iíve always wanted to know you. When I look at you, I see angelic insanity."
"You see what now?"
She smiled. "Angelic Insanity."
"And what's that?"
"When you speak to me, I hear angelic tones of misery. All angels are meant to fly so let me set you free instead of watching you drown in your inner insanity."
"Damn Oh, my God that was good. I aint know you was a poet."
"I do a lil bit."
"Iím lovin' that."
"That's cause Iím lovin' you."
All I could do was smile as she kissed me on my forehead. We sat there with me in her arms until the water got cold.
From that day on we were inseparable. She did her last few runs only to make sure she had enough money to help me start a new life with her. We never saw Black again to my surprise, and I never thought about him again. All I cared about was the one person in this world who finally set me free.
Copyright © 2005. Used by permission of author. All Rights Reserved.